Did the Exodus Really Happen?

Evidence reveals that the Hyksos were Canaanites — and their story later morphed into the Exodus to serve as a rallying cry against Egypt. 

Could over 600,000 Hebrew slaves revolt and escape their captors in Egypt? Spoiler alert: The Exodus is more folk tale than actual history.

Egyptian pharaohs steadily ruled their empire for thousands of years — except during a foreign occupation that lasted over a century.

An Egyptian historian named Mantheno, who wrote in the 3rd century BCE, “described a massive, brutal invasion of Egypt by foreigners from the east, whom he called Hyksos, an enigmatic Greek form of an Egyptian word that he translated as ‘shepherd kings’ but that actually means ‘rulers of foreign lands,’” write Israel Finkelstein and Neil Asher Silberman in The Bible Unearthed: Archaeology’s New Vision of Ancient Israel and the Origin of Its Sacred Texts. Inscriptions and seals from the time of the invasion have names that are West Semitic, or Canaanite.

“If a great mass of fleeing Israelites had passed through the border fortifications of the pharaonic regime, a record should exist.”

— Israel Finkelstein and Neil Asher Silberman, “The Bible Unearthed”

The Hyksos in this Egyptian painting are depicted as wearing brightly patterned clothes, which Wally much prefers to plain old white skirts.

Were the Hyksos Actually the Hebrews?!

Archaeological excavations in the eastern Nile delta “indicate that the Hyksos ‘invasion’ was a gradual process of immigration from Canaan to Egypt, rather than a lightning military campaign,” the authors write. “The fact that Manetho, writing almost fifteen hundred years later, describes a brutal invasion rather than a gradual, peaceful immigration should probably be understood on the background of his own times, when memories of the invasions of Egypt by the Assyrians, Babylonians and Persians in the seventh and sixth centuries BCE were still painfully fresh in the Egyptian consciousness.”

The biggest clue that the Hyksos were none other than the Hebrews is something else Manetho wrote: He suggests that after the usurpers were driven from Egypt, they founded the city of Jerusalem and built — you guessed it — an important temple there.

Israel gets a brief mention on the Merneptah Stele in a long list of conquered kingdoms.

When Did the Exodus Happen? The Merneptah Stele

If we take the story of the Exodus at face value for now, what evidence is there to provide a date for it? The Ancient Egyptians kept quite a written record, and, when paired with archaeological digs, the expulsion of the Hyksos is typically placed around 1570 BCE. If we go by the Old Testament account that this occurred 480 years after the construction of the Temple, that means the Exodus happened in 1440 BCE. 

But the Bible mentions the Hebrew slaves helping to construct the city of Raames (Exodus 1:11) — a name that’s inconceivable at that time, according to Finkelstein and Silberman. “The first pharaoh named Ramesses came to the throne only in 1320 BCE — more than a century after the traditional biblical date,” they write. “As a result, many scholars have tended to dismiss the literal value of the biblical dating, suggesting that the figure 480 was little more than a symbolic length of time, representing the life spans of twelve generations, each lasting the traditional 40 years.”

The Battle of Kadesh, in which Ramesses II battled the Hittites, as shown on a wall of the Ramesseum, the pharaoh’s mortuary temple

A city named Pi-Ramesses, or the House of Ramesses, was built with the help of Semites in the delta during the reign of Pharaoh Ramesses II, who ruled from 1279-1213 BCE. 

What’s more, though, is the famous stele of Merneptah, Ramesses’ son. The inscription is the sole mention of Israel in all of the artifacts from Ancient Egypt. The tribe is part of a list of people who were decimated during a Canaan campaign. Merneptah went so far to exclaim that Israel’s “seed is not!” 

This would mean that if a historical Exodus did indeed take place, it would have occurred in the late 13th century. The evidence doesn’t match up, though.

The Israelites Leaving Egypt by David Roberts, 1828

The Exodus: A Lack of Evidence

It’s highly unlikely that a large group of slaves could have made it out of Egypt at the time, given the guard posts all along its borders, argue Finkelstein and Silberman. “If a great mass of fleeing Israelites had passed through the border fortifications of the pharaonic regime, a record should exist,” they insist.

And if the slaves did somehow get out, there would be archaeological records of the Hebrews as they wandered in the desert. “However, except for the Egyptian forts along the northern coast, not a single campsite or sign of occupation from the time of Ramesses II and his immediate predecessors and successors has ever been identified in Sinai,” write Finkelstein and Silberman. “And it has not been for a lack of trying.”

Numerous excavations haven’t turned up anything: “not even a single sherd, no structure, not a single house, no trace of an ancient encampment,” they continue. “One may argue that a relatively small band of wandering Israelites cannot be expected to leave material remains behind. But modern archaeological techniques are quite capable of tracing even the very meager remains of hunter-gatherers and pastoral nomads all over the world.”

Whether it actually happened or not, the Exodus makes for a great story — especially the dramatic parting of the Red Sea and the drowning of the pursuing Egyptians.

Dating Exodus — a Great Piece of Propaganda?

All of the archeological evidence, including a reference to the kingdom of Edom, which refuses to help Moses, indicates that the Exodus narrative was completed during Ancient Egypt’s Twenty-sixth Dynasty — that is, during the 7th and 6th centuries BCE (shortly after, one would imagine, the stories of Abraham and the other patriarchs told of in Genesis). That’s 600 years after the events were supposed to have taken place!

What was the purpose of the Exodus story, if we put it in context of that time in history? “The great saga of a new beginning and second chance must have resonated in the consciousness of the seventh century’s readers, reminding them of their own difficulties and giving them hope for the future,” Finkelstein and Silberman write. 

Was Exodus written to bolster the agenda of King Josiah of Judah?

Josiah, the young ruler of Judah, sought to escape from the yoke of the newly crowned Pharaoh Necho II, who reigned Ancient Egypt from 610-595 BCE. 

Connecting Josiah’s confrontation with the Egyptian empire to that of Moses and the pharaoh of Exodus, complete with miracle after miracle to demonstrate the Hebrews as Yahweh’s Chosen People, would have been a powerful piece of propaganda. 

“[A]ncient traditions from many different sources were crafted into a single sweeping epic that bolstered Josiah’s political aims,” the authors conclude.

There simply is no evidence that a mass Exodus as described in the Old Testament ever happened. –Wally 

Why Are There Coyotes in Graceland Cemetery?!

Were coyotes introduced to get rid of the raccoons? And just how dangerous are the coyotes in Chicago?

They’re cute — and a bit frightening. But the coyotes in Graceland Cemetery in Chicago haven’t hurt anyone and keep to themselves. Photo by Adam Selzer

I never can resist a stroll through a graveyard. One winter day, I walked past the entrance of Graceland Cemetery at the intersection of Clark and Irving Park in Chicago. Before I even knew what I was doing, I found myself heading through the iron gates.

The cemetery is enormous and full of gorgeous old graves and mausoleums, some of which house the remains of famous Chicagoans, including the architect Louis Sullivan and the department store magnate Marshall Field.

Wally thinks this might have been the copse where the coyote made her den.

As I wandered around the pond at the northern end of the cemetery, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. A dark shape emerged from a cluster of brambles about 20 feet away, its brown fur in stark contrast to the whiteness of the snow-covered ground. The creature stared at me, then crouched a bit, its ears flattening, and slowly began to prowl in my direction. I realized this must be a coyote — people in Chicago talk about these creatures roaming the streets at night — and despite its inherent cuteness, I had no doubt it could inflict some serious damage. 

I was carrying a tote bag with my laptop inside, which I now desperately clutched like a weapon, ready to swing it at the beast if it decided to attack me. I backed away, slowly at first, so I could keep the coyote within my sights. Once I had gained some distance, I started running through the snow, finding one of the roads that led to the main entrance. 

Can you spot the coyote? These wild canines help curb populations of raccoons, rats and geese at Graceland Cemetery. Photo by Adam Selzer

Out of breath and slightly traumatized, I darted into the cemetery office near the front gate. A young man smiled at me as I shouted, “There’s a coyote in the cemetery!”

“Oh, yes,” he said calmly. “There’s more than one.”

I blinked at him, dumbfounded. I mean, I understand why cities would allow squirrels and bunnies and even deer to roam our green spaces — but why would it be OK to have large wild dogs running free? As insane as it sounds, there could be up to 4,000 coyotes in Chicago, according to NPR.

“In fact,” the young man continued, “the city brought the coyotes into the cemetery to eradicate the raccoon problem.”

This was getting stranger and stranger. It seemed to me that, in this case, the solution might be worse than the problem. 

“I might have been imagining things,” I said, “but it seemed as if it was pursuing me, like it might attack.”

He nodded. “There’s never been an attack in the cemetery, but she just had a litter and was protecting them.”

That being the case, it sure would have been nice to have a warning posted, something along the lines of: Caution! Keep a lookout for a mother coyote that could maul you because she feels you’re a threat to her babies. Enjoy your visit!

As strange as it might seem, it turns out coyotes are indeed fixtures within Chicago city limits and are, in the vast majority of cases, not a threat to our safety. There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, such as the 6-year-old boy who was bitten by a coyote near the Nature Museum — though who knows? The kid might have done something to instigate the attack.

There are typically three to five coyotes within the grounds of Graceland Cemetery. Photo by Adam Selzer

The Official Word on Coyotes at Graceland

Wanting to get to the bottom of this mystery, I reached out to Graceland’s staff to ask them about coyotes in the cemetery.

No one is sure of exactly how many coyotes are on the grounds, but employees estimate there are usually about three to five.

“The coyotes have never hurt anyone on the grounds and stay away from people,” says Jensen Allen, associate director at Graceland. “We do not allow people to feed them, which is usually what can cause animals to become accustomed to up-close human interactions.”

Did the city really introduce them to the cemetery to deal with the raccoon population?  

“We cannot verify whether they were brought into the city for any reason or not,” Allen says. “There are many stories out there, but we have heard from wildlife experts that this is not true per se. Coyotes have been part of the city for an extremely long time, and it is likely humans encroached upon their territories long ago and they have become used to surviving in urban areas.”

Either way, raccoons are more of an issue to people than the coyotes have ever been, she attests. “As I’m sure you know, raccoons are pretty fearless and will approach humans with no issue. We are thankful to our coyotes because they keep raccoons down as well as other vermin such as rats, mice, geese and any other troublesome wildlife animal.”

Our friend Sandy and her daughters visit Graceland often — and are always excited to see a coyote.

To learn more about coyotes (and be tempted to hold one of their cute little puppies — even though this is a very bad idea), check out the Urban Coyote Research Project. –Wally

Graceland Cemetery
4001 N. Clark St.
Chicago, IL 60613

The Real Monsters of Harry Potter Wizards Unite

What magical creatures come from folklore — and did the augmented reality game get the details right? A glossary of famous monsters, including gnomes, hippogriffs, leprechauns, mandrakes, phoenixes and trolls.

Many of the creatures from the mobile game Harry Potter: Wizards Unite have their roots in actual folklore.

Harry Potter: Wizards Unite features some monsters we know well — vampires, werewolves, unicorns and the like — but there are some odd ones you’ll encounter as well. Some of these creatures spring entirely from the impressive imagination of J.K. Rowling, such as those naughty Nifflers and dreadful Dementors. 

But many of the monsters that appear in the addictive AR game have their origins in folklore and mythology from around the world. 

“Some kappa are pranksters, making fart noises and peeking under kimonos.

But others are dangerous, drowning livestock, eating children and raping women.”

The Abraxan winged horse from the Harry Potter universe is based on one of the flying steeds that pulled the Greek sun god Helios’ chariot across the sky.

Abraxan

I’m not sure who would want to drink a potion with horse hair in it, even if it does make you stronger in battle. But Abraxan hair is one of the ingredients in the Strong Exstimulo Potion in the Wizards Unite game.

A little digging reveals where Rowling got the inspiration for these winged steeds: Abraxas was one of four immortal horses that pulled the sun god Helios’ chariot across the sky each day in Greek myth.

A depiction of a boggart from The Spiderwick Chronicles. They can change their shapes at will.

Boggart

Many of the Foundables in the game must face their worst fears when a shapeshifting boggart emerges from its cabinet. Clever Ron is terrified of spiders (like me), but once he casts Riddikulus, roller skates suddenly appear on all eight legs of the arachnid-shaped boggart, causing the creature to slip and bumble in all directions and making it more comical than creepy.

“The world is full of fairies, and if anyone tells you it isn’t, don’t you believe them.” So begins this helpful tome, published in 1956.

Boggarts love to cause mischief, like taking a baby out of its crib.

In English folklore, boggarts are mischief-makers, pulling the covers off you when you sleep, moving furniture, turning milk sour or even taking a baby out of its crib and placing it on the floor. They typically don’t hurt humans, though the threat of throwing a child down a boggart-hole often worked wonders in getting them to behave. Because boggarts are described in such differing ways — human-sized, able to fit in your palm, resembling an animal, invisible — these monsters are believed to be shapeshifters.

The creepy Erkling from Wizards Unite looks like a demented cousin of Jack Frost.

Erkling

In the game, these hideous creatures, with their skeletal frame, large red eyes and nose like a misshapen carrot, attack you with blowdarts. 

Saying that you won’t dance with a erlking or join it in fairyland could be the last thing you ever do.

Erlkings are often shown as crowned, flying spirits following those on horseback.

Rowling transposed two letters, drawing inspiration from the erlking, a woodland spirit of Scandanavian and Germanic origin. Based on their depictions in illustrations and paintings, they appear as humans, wrapped in flowing robes and flying, ghostlike, above those on horseback. Sometimes an erlking wears a crown, in reference to the origin of the word, which means “elf king.” While similar creatures are mere tricksters, erlkings are willing to kill humans for doing something like refusing to dance with them or venture into fairyland. Others are said to prey on children. But it could also be that erlkings are merely omens of death, appearing to those doomed to soon die.

This cheeky Gnome Confoundable is waving a fart at us!

Gnome

Forget those statues in your garden of a small humanlike creature with a white beard and rosy cheeks, dressed in a blue tunic and pointy red cap. The gnomes of Wizards Unite have mottled green skin and horns atop their heads. They flounder around in a comical manner, and I can’t help but laugh no matter how many times I see that one gnome wafting its stinky fart in my direction to keep me from the Beater’s bat.

Wally stole — er, permanently borrowed — this book from his neighbors, knowing he’d appreciate it much more than they would.

Gnomes are diminutive creatures of the earth and mountains from European folklore. These shy supernatural folk avoid humans but befriend birds, rabbits, foxes, hedgehogs and squirrels (though they have a particular dislike of cats). They can move through stone as easily as we do through air. Some tales say they turn to stone in the sun, which could explain why it’s only during the nighttime that they sneak out to help with gardening. 

Hippogriffs, part eagle, part horse, can be dangerous!

Hippogriff

Many of us are familiar with Buckbuck, whom Harry and his friends save from execution and is one of the Foundables from the Forbidden Forest in the Wizards Unite game. 

In this 1824 painting by Louis-Édouard Rioult, a knight named Roger, riding his hippogriff mount, saves a woman, Angelica, from a sea monster.

A hippogriff is the offspring of a mare and a griffin, itself a magical creature. Because griffins typically hunt horses, hippogriffs are extremely rare and became symbols of something deemed impossible. When the two creatures do mate, the result is a mishmash, with the forefront of an eagle and the hind quarters of a horse. 

When Mare and Griffin meet and mate
Their offspring share a curious fate.
One half is Horse with hooves and tail,
The rest is Eagle, claws and nail.

As a Horse it likes to graze
In summer meadows doused in haze,
Yet as an Eagle it can fly
Above the clouds where dreams drift by.

With such a Beast I am enthralled,
The Hippogriff this beast is called.

–“The Hippogriff” by Arnold Sundgaard

They’re able to be tamed and make swift steeds, as many a knight and wizard has learned.

The Horned Serpent you must battle in Harry Potter: Wizards Unite

Horned Serpent

One of the Oddities that’s a bit more difficult to defeat, this monster is exactly what its name describes: a giant snake with — you guessed it! — horns. It’s also one of the four houses at Ilvermorny, the unfortunately named U.S. equivalent of Hogwarts. Horned Serpent students are smarties, most likely making them the equivalent of Ravenclaws.

Many Native American tribes had a version of the horned serpent in their folk tales.

These supernatural spirits were primarily water based and could perform powerful magic.

While these mythic creatures from Native American folklore sometimes travel on ground, they’re most often found in rivers and lakes. It seems that each indiginous tribe has its own version of the horned serpent, but they’re almost always powerful supernatural spirits, with powers ranging from shapeshifting and invisibility to hypnosis and healing. Many are also said to control the weather, causing rain, earthquakes and floods.

Watch out for kappa! They’re known to not only peek up kimonos but rape women as well.

Kappa

The kappa shows up in the Circus Calamitous special event in the game, with a head that seems to hold water like a bowl, barnacles stuck to its skin and a Fu Manchu mustache.

The creature derives from Japanese mythology, described as an amphibian humanoid with webbed feet and hands, a beak and a turtle shell upon its back, dwelling in rivers and ponds. 

Some kappa are mere pranksters, making fart noises and peeking under kimonos. But others are dangerous, drowning livestock, eating children (though they’re also fond of cucumbers) and raping women.

The turtle-like kappas’ weakness is the dents on top of their heads, which must always be filled with water.

They do indeed have a small bowl-like dent in their heads called a sara, the source of their magical powers, which must always be filled with water. If they’re on land and you refill its sara, a kappa will be indebted to you for life. 

James Browne’s leprechaun is a cobbler and has a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

Leprechaun

These little buggers throw clods of dirt at you in Wizards Unite, making it oh-so-satisfying when you cast a spell that sends one flying into the air. 

Leprechauns often have treasure — but they’ll do their best to trick you out of getting it.

The Harry Potter game loves its diminutive tricksters, so it’s no surprise leprechauns are featured. These creatures from Irish folklore are quite well known to Americans, thanks to St. Patrick’s Day — though the children’s cereal Lucky Charms has a part to play as well. You can easily picture a leprechaun: a small humanoid with a red beard and a green outfit, from its top hat to its buckled shoes. It wasn’t until the 20th century, though, that the color scheme turned to green — originally, leprechauns dressed in red.

This leprechaun on a vintage St. Patrick’s Day card is probably drunk.

These creatures haunt wine cellars and, playing to a stereotype about the Irish, are famous drunks. In many cases, they’re shoemakers, and you’ll find their pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. If you capture one, you can usually get him to hand over his treasure. Some tales say that those who catch a leprechaun will be granted three wishes. But beware: These naughty fairies will do everything they can to trick you out of your reward. 

A baby mandrake root as seen in the Hogwarts greenhouses.

Mandrake

Who can forget the scene where Harry and his Hogwarts classmates must pull screaming baby mandrakes out of a pot, being sure to wear earmuffs as protection from their horrific wails? 

Mandrakes were popular inclusions in medieval manuscripts.

It’s handy to have a dog you don’t like around when harvesting a mandrake.

These unusual plants actually exist — though it’s highly doubtful that they spring from the fat, blood and semen of a hanged man. Mandrakes are a member of the nightshade family and have hallucinogenic properties. Their roots often form humanlike shapes, leading to the belief that they held various powers over the body.

Dioscurides, a first century Greek physician, states that mandrake boiled in wine was used as an anesthetic in Ancient Rome. Too much, though, could be fatal. And the barren Rachel of Genesis seems to have finally gotten pregnant thanks to the magical properties of the mandrake.

This powerful plant could bring good fortune, riches or power. Slip one shaped like a baby under your pillow and you might conceive a child. Put one that resembles a woman into your pocket, and that gal you’ve got your eye on is sure to fall for you.

The humanlike mandrake root was said to emit a fatal screech when pulled out of the ground.

These ladies are using string to yank out mandrakes — I sure hope they have their ears plugged with wax!

Because the plant emits a fatal shriek when uprooted, harvesting it was a dangerous activity. The only way to safely go about this is to plug your ears with wax and tie one end of a rope around the mandrake and the other to a dog. Throw a treat, which the dog will chase after — yanking the mandrake root out of the ground. Of course, the mandrake will emit its lethal scream, killing the poor doggie instantly (though I’m not sure why you can’t try plugging the pooch’s ears with wax as well).

The adorable mooncalf from Wizards Unite

Mooncalf

No matter how many times I see that poor little guy, with its huge blue eyes, chained up in the game, my heart breaks a little. Sure he’s a misshapen beast with webbed feet, but he’s downright adorable in his way.

The moon could botch a pregnancy, resulting in a horrifically deformed creature called a mooncalf.

Mooncalves in folklore aren’t always bovine: Perhaps the first reference dates back to Shakespeare’s play The Tempest, where the deformed creature Caliban is said to be the offspring of a witch and a devil.

Poor Caliban, a mooncalf created by Shakespeare

Caliban and a couple of other characters from The Tempest

The beasts get their name from the belief that the moon can exert a sinister influence over a pregnancy, resulting in a child that’s monstrously deformed, pale and mentally deficient. 

A Mountain Troll Confoundable isn’t too fond of the Flesh-Eating Slugs (but really, who would be)?

Mountain Troll

In the mobile game, these dimwitted, lumbering giants guard numerous Foundables, including the Mirror of Erised, which reveals that their heart’s desire is…a female of the species. Trolls — they just want to be loved, too. 

Trolls from a 1915 illustration by the Swedish artist John Bauer

Trolls originated in Norway, where they’re a proud part of the national heritage — despite being hideous and cruel monsters (though the females are often said to be quite comely). Wizards Unite and the world of Harry Potter got one thing right about them: They’re great of strength and weak of brain. The good news is that because trolls are so stupid, if you’re caught by one, you just might be able to trick your way out of danger. If you’re not clever enough, though, you could get smashed by a tree used as a club or crushed by a stone hurled by a troll. Or, you might be the troll’s next meal. 

Duke and Wally got attacked by the trolls at the Morton Arboretum outside of Chicago, part of a fun exhibit by Thomas Dambo.

Their skin is gray and tough as stone, their hair wild and unkempt. Like the folklore concerning gnomes, trolls will turn to stone if caught in the sun’s rays. Some of the mountain outcroppings in Norway are the remains of unlucky trolls. 

Trolls that get caught out at sunrise turn instantly to stone.

In some tales, trolls have a particular dislike of Christians and never pass up a chance to wreak havoc on a church — perhaps because church bells are said to ward them off. (Incidentally, they also run in terror from thunder.)

The phoenix gets consumed in flames, only to be reborn from the ashes.

Phoenix

Dumbledore’s companion phoenix is named for Guy Fawkes Day, a strange British holiday with pagan origins that involves bonfires and the burning of an effigy.

That’s because the famous headmaster of Hogwarts’ phoenix shares a bizarre trait with the mythological creature: After living for 1,000 or so years, the gorgeous eagle-like bird grows old and frail before finally bursting into flames. But fear not — the phoenix will be reborn from its ashes, and the cycle will continue. That’s why phoenixes are associated with resurrection.

Phoenix tears are believed to have healing powers, and no one can tell a lie when this creature is nearby.

A page from a medieval bestiary shows a phoenix. Christians liked how the fabled bird symbolized resurrection.

The phoenix is said to have come from Paradise. Its fable began in Arabia and became popular in Ancient Greece and Rome. The majestic bird is covered in brilliant feathers of red, purple and gold. Its tears are said to have regenerative powers, and some say no one can tell a lie when the bird is near.

The pain-in-the-ass pixies you’ll find throughout the Wizards Unite game

Pixie

In the game, these little pests are hard to aim at, as they flit about during challenges — but they’re usually pretty easy to defeat once you land a shot.

Pixies, a variety of which is shown here, from The Spiderwick Chronicles, really just wanna have fun.

This source claims that pixies choose to look like hedgehogs, though most say they have wings like a butterfly or dragonfly.

While the pixies of Harry Potter are troublemakers, that’s not how they’re depicted in British folklore. The diminutive fairy-like creatures are giddy merrymakers who will give you a blessing if you recite a poem or present them with a pretty ribbon (they’re not good at making clothes, so they tend to dress in rags). Pixies sometimes have blue- or green-tinted skin, pointed ears, and wings like those of a butterfly or dragonfly.

One of Halbot K. Browne’s illustrations from the 1854 book A Peep at the Pixies by Anna Eliza Bray

Their magic can make a child smile, a maiden dance or a traveler lose their way (indeed, some disoriented voyagers would gripe about being “pixy-led”). Plants near them grow at an accelerated speed.

Whatever you do, don’t make fun of a pukwudgie. They’re not typically malevolent, but they could cause great harm if you don’t treat them with respect.

Pudwudgie

Rowling offers a variant spelling of the Native American creature known as a pukwudgie. These spirits of the forest are gray-skinned, about 3 feet tall and resemble humans, aside for their bulbous noses and enlarged ears. Like many other fey creatures, they’re sometimes mischievous, sometimes malicious — especially to those who don’t treat them with respect. Their magical powers include being able to turn invisible, confuse people, shapeshift into cougars or other dangerous animals and harm a person with a stare. A particularly vile pukwudgie might push you off a cliff, shoot a flaming arrow at you or kidnap your child. 

No one can seem to agree on exactly what a re’em looks like.

Re’em

If you want to brew an Exstimulo potion, you’ll have to scoop up little pools of re’em blood. Who knew this was an actual creature from Jewish folklore?

Like many of these monsters, there’s a debate about what a re’em actually looks like. One thing’s for certain: It’s massive. Some sources interchange it with a unicorn, but many describe it as an ox-like creature. 

One story about Noah’s Ark tells of a unicorn-like re’em being towed behind it because the giant beast wouldn’t fit on the boat.

A Jewish tale says that there are only two re’em at any given time: one male and one female. For 70 years, they exist on opposite sides of the Earth, but then come together to mate — after which the female slays the male with a single bite. When she finally gives birth, her stomach bursts open, killing her instantly. But she always gives birth to twins: one male, one female. They head off in different directions for 70 years, until…well, you know the drill.

Evidence points to the re’em being a giant aurochs, like those painted at the Lascaux caves.

Another story tells of King David, back when he was a shepherd. He climbed upon a re’em, thinking it was a mountain. He told God that he would build Him a temple as high as the re’em itself if he could get down safely. God sent a lion, the king of the beasts, and when the re’em bowed down in submission, David hopped off. 

An alert for Fluffy, the Three-Headed Dog once cared for by Hagrid

Three-Headed Dog

Hagrid never met a monster he didn’t love, and that includes the vicious three-headed hound to whom he gave the ridiculous name of Fluffy. 

Cerberus, the original three-headed dog, shown in this William Blake illustration, guards the gates of Hades in Greek mythology.

The original three-headed hell hound was called Cerberus. It guarded the entrance to Hades, devouring anyone who tried to leave the underworld. The only person to sneak past this monstrous watchdog was Orpheus, who played music so sweet it soothed the savage beast and lulled him to sleep.

Hercules and Cerberus by Peter Paul Rubens, 1636

The Greek hero Herakles, aka Hercules, had to capture Cerberus as the last of his 12 labors. Despite being bitten by the creature’s snakelike tail, Herakles managed to choke Cerberus until he passed out.

The Wizards Unite version of a zouwu

Zouwu

The zouwu appears in the Circus Calamitous event and was so strange, I had to wonder if it sprung from Rowling’s imagination. 

The mythic Chinese zouwu is actually a docile, lucky creature.

But no — it’s a legendary Chinese monster. Despite resembling a fierce big cat (sometimes described as a lion, sometimes a tiger), the zouwu is a gentle, vegetarian beast that’s seen as a good omen. The Harry Potter version has a strange pink tail like a ruffled dress, but in Chinese mythology, it’s only said that the tail is longer than its body. If you ride upon one, you can cover 1,000 miles in a day. 

The AR game is even more fun when you know the origins of the creatures that populate its world.

As you battle or rescue various creatures in the Harry Potter: Wizards Unite game, don’t get too caught up staring at your phone. You’ll want to be prepared if you happen to encounter one of these monsters in real life! –Wally

Controversial Theories About Akhenaten, Ancient Egypt’s “Heretic King”

The monotheistic pharaoh has spawned numerous crackpot theories, including his having Marfan syndrome and Nefertiti becoming king. 

Pharaoh Akhenaten: the face that launched a thousand conspiracy theories

Everything we think we know about Ancient Egypt can be completely upended with a new discovery of something as seemingly innocuous as a single stone carving. That being said, this article focuses on the research and theories of Nicholas Reeves, in his book, Akhenaten: Egypt’s False Prophet, republished in 2019.

Reeves poses some controversial speculations about the brief but mysterious Amarna Period, jumping to sensationalist conclusions with only the scantest of evidence. I want to believe him, though, especially since he served as the director of the Amarna Royal Tombs Project from 1998 to 2002.

Does the Amarna style of art reveal a hereditary disease?

It Runs in the Family? The Marfan Syndrome Theory

Egyptian art remained remarkably static for millennia. You can picture it in your head: The side-profile carvings and paintings with their legs bent and posed one in front of the other, inspiring the Bangles’ song “Walk Like an Egyptian.” But, much like the move from polytheism to monotheism, the Amarna Period also resulted in an intriguing new art aesthetic.

The unusual Amarna style, especially the statuary, has been a major reason some Egyptologists entertain the theory put forth by Alwyn L. Burridge that Akhenaten suffered from Marfan syndrome. The illness’ symptoms do include features found on the depictions of the pharaoh and his family: slender bones, a long face, an elongated skull, spidery fingers and a wide pelvis, among others.

This depiction of Akhenaten most likely was carved early in his reign and probably reveals what he actually looked like.

If this is indeed the case, the repercussions would have been severe: Akhenaten and his offspring would have been susceptible to sudden death due to a weakened cardiovascular system and would have likely gone blind in adulthood.

It would explain a lot, argues Reeves. A report that Akhenaten wanted “to see the gods” could have meant that he could only dimly discern the rays of the sun. He was skilled in music (“traditionally a vocation for the blind,” according to Reeves). Amarna art emphasizes the sense of touch and often depicted the pharaoh with a crutch or walking stick. And at least one of the fetuses mummified in the tomb of his probable son Tutankhamun, revealed skeletal deformities.

The desecrated sarcophagus in Tomb 55 in the Valley of the Kings

The Mummy in Tomb 55

In 1907, the archeologist Theodore M. Davis uncovered what he referred to as the Tomb of Queen Tiye, or Tomb 55. He found evidence that the tomb had been discovered before, a few millennia ago: 200 years after the remains were initially interred, Ancient Egyptian workers stumbled upon the sepulcher while digging away to build the tomb of Ramesses IX. Queen Tiye, the Great Royal Wife of Amenhotep III, was moved out of the tomb, perhaps to separate her from her “heretic” son, Akhenaten.

The mummy cache found in KV55

Queen Tiye, the mother of Akhenaten

Reeves thinks there’s a good chance the remaining coffin and mummy in Tomb 55 is that of Pharaoh Akhenaten, who ruled from 1353-1336 BCE, especially given the violence of its desecration: “The names were systematically cut out, and the identifying face torn away to destroy the eyes, nose and mouth and effectively deny the king’s spirit sight, air and sustenance; for good measure a stone was hurled at the coffin’s head just before the party left,” Reeves explains. 

Kiya, who shared wifely duties with Nefertiti, was a scapegoat for Akhenaten’s questionable decisions

The Other Wife: The Mysterious and Maligned Kiya

While Nefertiti was the pharaoh’s chief wife, Akhenaten had a secondary spouse, Kiya, whom he also greatly loved, if we can infer that from the fact that she had a lavish estate of her own at Amarna. While Nefertiti gave birth to one daughter after another, Kiya is believed to have borne Akhenaten a son: the famous Boy King, Tutankhamun. 

Reeves posits that Kiya might well have been a princess of the Mitanni people. Her name essentially meant Monkey, Reeves informs us. But behind her playful façade, he says that she was “cruel and self-seeking” and “may even have been regarded, by posterity, as the evil genius behind many of Akhenaten’s excesses.”

A canopic jar with Kiya’s head upon it — other artifacts depicting her were viciously vandalized.

Her inscriptions have been scratched out, and her statues have had their eyes gouged out. References to Kiya were superimposed with figures and texts of Akhenaten’s daughters, and her coffin and canopic jars were repurposed for the pharaoh’s reburial. 

Did Princess Meritaten simultaneously give birth to her daughter and granddaughter?!

Who Says Incest Is Best?

As I’ve mentioned, Reeves loves a good conspiracy theory, and another one rears its head when discussing the historical record of Akhenaten’s progeny. Two additional daughters get mentioned: Meritaten-tasherit and Ankhesenpaaten-tasherit. The -tasherit ending equates to “Jr.,” and the first part of the names are the same as two of the pharaoh’s daughters by Nefertiti. 

Was Akhenaten a bit too fond of his daughters by Nefertiti?

“The implications of this are serious, however,” Reeves writes, “since the father of these children can have been none other than Akhenaten himself.”

Case closed?

Is this a carving of Akhenaten’s gay lover — or a woman who became his co-pharaoh?

Smenkhkare: The Unknown Pharaoh — and Akhenaten’s Gay Lover?

Confusing matters even more, a new pharaoh emerges on the scene while Akhenaten still sat upon the throne. Who was this co-regent? 

A small stele, or stone monument, from this time, made for a military officer named Pase, depicts two kings sitting side by side. One has his arm around his co-pharaoh, who is turning to affectionately touch the other’s chin. Because they’re both styled as kings, Egyptologists in the 1920s and beyond were convinced that this single stone revealed that Akhenaten was gay — never mind all the children he had. 

More recent discoveries have revealed that there’s a likely suspect right under our noses: Pharaoh Smenkhkare was probably none other than his famous wife, Nefertiti. –Wally

3 Times Alexander the Great Wasn’t So Great

The famed king of Macedon and military leader could be ruthless and cruel, especially when he dealt with Tyre, Gaza and Persepolis.

Alexander might have had a great body, but his actions weren’t always so great — especially when it came to conquering three major cities of antiquity

It’s all a matter of perspective. You can read through these stories about the man history has dubbed Alexander the Great and think, “What a dick.”

But you shouldn’t view ancient history solely through a modern lens. Even Dante was guilty of reducing the legendary conqueror to barbarian status: He placed Alexander in the seventh circle of Hell, boiling for eternity in the blood he shed.

As far as ancient history goes, though, Alexander’s brutality was typical: “He was a man of his own violent times, no better or worse in his actions than Caesar or Hannibal,” writes Philip Freeman in Alexander the Great. “He killed tens of thousands of civilians in his campaigns and spread terror in his wake, but so did every other general in the ancient world.”

“Armies in the ancient world firmly believed it was their natural right to pillage any city they encountered.

As for captive women, in the minds of the soldiers they were nothing more than the spoils of war and were to be treated as such.”

— Philip Freeman, “Alexander the Great”

Here are a few instances when the legendary conqueror was far from “Great” and acted with particular cruelty in amassing his empire.

The Phoenician city of Tyre was prosperous and well-protected

1. The Siege and Massacre of Tyre

As part of his world conquest, in 332 BCE, Alexander set his sights on Tyre, located on an island off the Lebanese coast. This was the most powerful of all the Phoenician cities and one of the richest trading centers in the Mediterranean. 

Attacking the city of Tyre was no easy feat, as it was situated half a mile off the coast and protected by strong currents and winds. Alexander decided to build a causeway, chopping down some of the famed cedars of the area and destroying the older parts of the city on the mainland to use as construction material. 

The long, arduous task took over half a year, interrupted by violent storms, a fire the Tyrians started by sending a flaming ship crashing into the causeway, and even a “sea monster” getting trapped upon it (most likely a whale). 

An aerial photo of Tyre taken by the French military in 1934 shows the land bridge that resulted from Alexander the Great’s causeway

At last, Alexander’s men completed the causeway. While a battle raged on land, the king boarded his lead ship and led a naval battle that struck simultaneously at all the seaward walls around the city. The Tyrians didn’t know where to focus their defense. When a battering ram on an armored ship opened a breach, the Macedonian army flooded into Tyre. It’s said that Alexander himself was the first to reach the top of the city walls. Then the carnage began.

Alexander assaulted Tyre from all directions on both land and sea

“The ferocity of the slaughter was staggering,” Freeman writes. “The Macedonians had spent seven long months laboring to take the stubborn town. They had seen many of their friends crushed by stones hurled from the walls or burned to death by fire bombs. They were angry, exhausted, and passionately hated the people of Tyre for putting them through hell. Alexander didn’t even try to hold them back as they killed every man, woman, and child they could lay their hands on.”

Corpses of men, women and children lined the streets of Tyre after Alexander and his army breached the walls of the city

Thousands died within the first few hours, and the rest were sold into slavery — aside from the lucky few who sought sanctuary in the temple of Hercules. And then there were the 2,000 men of fighting age who were taken to a mainland beach across from Tyre and crucified.

A painting of Gaza in 1839 by David Roberts

2. The Unmentionable Death of Gaza’s Eunuch Governor

En route to Egypt, also in 332 BCE, Alexander faced an obstacle: the hilltop fortress town of Gaza, ruled at the time by the Persians. Its marketplace held the riches of the Arabian caravan trade, including frankincense, gold and myrrh. 

A bas-relief from Alexander the Great’s sarcophagus depicting the battle of Gaza

Alexander was, in many ways, not only a daring army commander but also an engineering genius. When his men weren’t fighting or trekking halfway around the world, they were engaged in impressive construction projects. In Gaza, Alexander ordered them to build a ring around the city equal to its height. Using the siege towers from Tyre, the Macedonian army stormed the walls of Gaza but were driven back three times. On the fourth attempt, though, Alexander led a successful foray into the city, despite a wounded shoulder from a previous skirmish. 

All the men of Gaza were killed, and the women and children sold into slavery. The local governor, a eunuch named Batis, was brought before Alexander, who insisted he bow down before him. Batis refused, looking upon his conqueror in contempt.

The hero Achilles dragged his enemy Hector from his chariot — a gruesome act that inspired Alexander the Great’s humiliation of the governor of Gaza

“Then Alexander in his anger did something so horrific that most ancient historians omit the episode altogether,” Freeman writes. Inspired by Achilles’ shocking treatment of his enemy Hector in The Iliad, Alexander tied Batis to his chariot by his ankles and dragged his mutilated body through the surrounding rocky desert around Gaza long after he was dead.

The burning of Xerxes’ palace in Persepolis. Was it an act of drunken stupidity — or premeditated revenge?

3. The Needless Sacking of Persepolis

Unlike these previous battles, Alexander and his army marched right into Persepolis, the heart of the great Persian Empire, unopposed, in 330 BCE. It was a new city for the era, and a gorgeous one at that, filled with statues, impressive architecture and luxurious accommodations. 

Architectural and artistic wonders filled the city of Persepolis, though Alexander’s army viewed them only as the spoils of war

Alexander had spent too much time calling Persepolis the most hated city in Asia and claiming that the ultimate goal of his campaign was to destroy the Persian Empire (even though he would continue on after this, much to some of his men’s dismay). Having finally reached the city that had been demonized for so long, Alexander’s soldiers didn’t give even the remotest thought to preserving this pinnacle of culture; they wanted booty in all senses of the word. 

“Armies in the ancient world firmly believed it was their natural right to pillage any city they encountered,” Freeman writes. “After all, they put their lives on the line fighting for king and country. Glory was well and good for princes and nobles, but they longed for tangible treasure to spend while they were still young enough to enjoy it and gold to buy that farm they had always had their eye on back home. As for captive women, in the minds of the soldiers they were nothing more than the spoils of war and were to be treated as such.”

A drawing of Persepolis by the architect Charles Chipiez

Once he was situated in the palace complex, Alexander knew he couldn’t contain his men. He gave his army free reign to sack Persepolis — the first time he had done so to a city that had willingly surrendered.

What resulted was “an orgy of ferocious greed,” as Freeman calls it. The soldiers broke into homes, killing the men and raping the women and girls. They grabbed anything of value, hacking limbs off golden statues and sometimes even killing each other in the quarrels over fine purple cloth or silver jewelry. 

“The bravest among the citizens saw what was coming and set their own houses on fire with themselves and their families inside before the Macedonians could break down the door,” Freeman writes. “Others put on their finest clothing and threw their wives and children from the roofs to their deaths in the streets below, then followed themselves. 

After one day, “Persepolis was a smoking ruin filled with the dead, an indescribable scene of horror as naked widows and orphans were led away in the winter cold to the slave markets,” Freeman continues.

Some time later, in what the author calls “a fine Greek tradition to blame women for the foolish deeds of men,” Alexander burned down the great palace of Xerxes. A courtesan (which is just a nice way of saying “high-class whore”) named Thaïs had spoken so eloquently of destroying the palace, that a drunk Alexander grabbed the nearest torch and started the blaze himself — an act he almost immediately regretted. But it was too late. The palace was reduced to ash. 

The woman is always to blame. The courtesan Thaïs is said to have convinced Alexander to burn down Xerxes’ palace — which he instantly regretted

A different version of the story comes from Arrian, often the best source for information about Alexander the Great. The historian stated that the Macedonian king had always planned to burn down the palace in revenge for all the evils the Persian Empire had perpetrated upon the Greek world. Evidence supports this claim: Archeologists have found the remains of the palace but no treasures destroyed at the time — revealing that the fire was most likely premeditated and not started until all valuable objects had been removed.

“In the end, we simply cannot know whether or not the king deliberately burned down the palace of Xerxes,” according to Freeman. “But we can be sure that most of the ancient historians who wrote of the episode were deeply uncomfortable with Alexander’s actions and preferred to blame the events of that night on too much wine and the silken tongue of a woman.” –Wally

“He killed tens of thousands of civilians in his campaigns and spread terror in his wake, but so did every other general in the ancient world.”

— Philip Freeman, “Alexander the Great”

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LEARN MORE about the insane early life of Alexander the Great, from a gay gang rape to his mother burning a rival’s baby!

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The Shocking Secrets of the Gospel of Judas

One of the Gnostic gospels, this “heretical” text paints a controversial picture of Christianity and the apostle who is said to have betrayed Jesus.

The Betrayal of Jesus by Giotto di Bondone, 1304. But what if Judas turning Jesus over to the authorities was all part of the plan?

Most people believe that Christianity has always been fully formed, as if the New Testament was handed down from God Himself.

But that’s not the case. We can be forgiven for falling under the impression “that Christianity actually was a single, static, universal system of beliefs,” write Elaine Pagels and Karen L. King in Reading Judas: The Gospel of Judas and the Shaping of Christianity. “Creating this impression was itself a remarkable achievement — one to which certain ‘fathers of the church’ were dedicated. But they did so precisely because they realized how diverse Christian groups were, and they feared that controversies over basic issues—like those revealed in the Gospel of Judas — might undermine the ‘universal church’ they were trying to build, along with the authority they were claiming for their church alone.”

But the discovery of additional texts like the Gnostic Gospels shows there were dissenting views and that early Christianity was anything but uniform. Church founders very carefully debated which gospels to keep — and which to discard.

The sorry state of the first page of the Gospel of Judas. That’s what a humid safety box and a stint in a freezer will do to ancient papyrus!

Unearthing the Gospel of Judas

The Gospel of Judas was written by an unknown author in Greek around 150 CE. Deemed heretical, the only known surviving copy is one that was translated into Coptic in the 4th century and discovered in the 1970s in Middle Egypt. It was part of what’s called the Tchacos Codex, which had a rough go of it, from its burial cave to a humid safety deposit box — even being frozen at one point!

A church father named Irenaeus rails against this particular group of Christians in work, Against Heresies, written around 180 CE:

They declare that Judas the traitor … alone, knowing the truth as no others did, accomplished the mystery of the betrayal; by him all things, both earthly and heavenly, were thus thrown into confusion. They produced a fictitious history of this kind, which they style the Gospel of Judas.

An early Christian leader, Irenaeus, railed against what he deemed heresies, including the Gospel of Judas.

This was at a time when Christianity had developed into numerous offshoots, with quite different beliefs. The Roman Emperor Constantine, a surprising but passionate convert to Christianity, attempted to resolve the differences by supporting the bishops he gathered together in 325 CE at the Council of Nicaea in present-day Turkey. These early church fathers went through the existing literature and chose what was canon and what was heresy. 

“The traditional history of Christianity is written almost solely from the viewpoint of the side that won, which was remarkably successful in silencing or distorting other voices, destroying their writings, and suppressing any who disagreed with them as dangerous and obstinate ‘heretics,’” Pagels and King write.

Those who dared to continue practicing beliefs the bishops had forbidden found their buildings confiscated or burned to the ground over the following centuries.

the shocking claims of the Gospel of Judas

The Gospel of Judas is a quick but confounding read. (At one point, for example, the writer offers this aside, which suggests that the son of God had the power to shapeshift: “Frequently, however, he would not reveal himself to his disciples, but you would find him in their midst as a child.” Judas 1:8).

Marvin Meyer and F. Gaudard translated the text into English for the National Geographic Society in 2006, and it wasn’t an easy task. As stated, the poor manuscript had been through the ringer. Improper handling and storage — including that stint in a freezer — had reduced the papyrus to fragments.

Here are four shocking claims made in the Gospel of Judas that completely disrupt what we know of Christianity.

The Taking of Christ by Caravaggio, circa 1602. The Christianity we know today was shaped by Church leaders 300 years after Jesus’ death — and early followers didn’t agree on doctrines.

1. Judas wasn’t a villain — he was actually Jesus’ favorite disciple and was asked by Christ to betray him.

This is the statement that’s the most shocking, even to this day, entirely turning the Gospels of the New Testament on their head.

“For thousands of years, Christians have pictured Judas as the incarnation of evil. Motivated by greed and inspired by Satan, he is the betrayer whom Dante placed in the third lowest circle of hell,” Pagels and King write. “But the Gospel of Judas shows Judas instead as Jesus’s closest and most trusted confidant — the one to whom Jesus reveals his deepest mysteries and whom he trusts to initiate the passion.”

On some level, this shouldn’t be such a big surprise. In all of the New Testament gospels, Jesus anticipated and even embraced his own death. So it’s not too far a stretch to imagine he worked with Judas to put his plan in motion.

2. The other apostles actually worship a false God and are mistaken in their beliefs about the Eucharist and martyrdom. 

The Gospel of Judas begins with Jesus laughing at the apostles (he laughs mockingly throughout the work) as they celebrate the Eucharist, believing that they were eating the body of Christ and drinking his blood — a practice that always struck me as eerily cannibalistic.

Matthew 26:26-28 reads, “As they were eating, Jesus took some bread and blessed it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, ‘Take this and eat it, for this is my body.’

The Gospel of Judas declares that the apostles got the Eucharist all wrong.

“Jesus’s laughter is a kind of ridicule or mockery intended to shock the disciples out of their complacency and false pride,” Pagels and King write. “Their deepest problem is that they don’t know they have a problem; they wrongly think they are already righteous, with their prayers and practices of piety.” 

Despite the hopeful message of salvation in the gospel, there’s a cryptic declaration near the beginning: Jesus said to them, “Do you (really think you) know me — how? Truly I say to you, no race from the people among you will ever know me.” Judas 2:10-11.

The apostles then have a dream that horrifies them: Priests sacrificed their children and wives. Some had sex with other men, while some engaged in slaughter, amongst an array of other “sins and injustices.”

Jesus once again laughs (I told you) and informs them that they are the ones doing those deeds and that they worship a false God.

This is, in part, supposed to be a commentary on the craze of martyrdom. Not surprisingly, many followers of Jesus at the time weren’t happy with the trend that persecuted Christians should eagerly embrace torture and violent death.

“Their anger was directed less against the Romans than at their own leaders for encouraging Christians to accept martyrdom as God’s will, as though God desired these tortured bodies for his own glory,” Pagels and King write.

The apostles just didn’t understand Jesus’ teachings, according to the Gospel of Judas — even the “God” they worshipped was false!

The author of the Gospel of Judas points out what he feels is a stunning contradiction: “while Christians refuse to practice sacrifice, many of them bring sacrifice right back into the center of Christian worship — by claiming that Jesus’s death is a sacrifice for human sin, and then by insisting that Christians who die as martyrs are sacrifices pleasing to God,” the authors point out.

 Jesus tells the disciples that the supposed “God” they worship is actually a lower angel who’s leading them astray. (This is where the gospel starts going a bit off the rails and gets all metaphysical.)

St. Stephen, said to be the first Christian martyr, as painted by Rembrandt.

3. Judas didn’t commit suicide — he was, in fact, the first Christian martyr.

The Gospel of Matthew states that Judas, ashamed at his betrayal, returned the 30 pieces of silver that had been his bribe, and hanged himself.

The Suicide of Judas by John Canavesio, circa 1492 — but did Judas really hang himself? The Gospel of Judas has him meeting a different gruesome end.

But the Gospel of Judas tells a different tale: The other disciples, horrified by what Judas has done, and not grasping the truth of Jesus’ plan, stone the supposed traitor to death. Even though the gospel decries martyrdom, it paradoxically also states that its subject was the first Christian martyr. 

Resurrection of the Flesh by Luca Signorelli, circa 1500. According to 1 Corinthians 15: 52, “the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.”

4. Despite what mainstream Christian teachings preach, during the end times, resurrection of the faithful will not be physical but spiritual.

Only Judas is ready to hear the truth, so Jesus takes him aside and teaches him how the visible world we know is actually one of primeval darkness and disorder. But despair not: There’s a heavenly realm where the invisible Spirit of God dwells in an infinite cloud of light.

At a time when Christians believed that the apocalypse was going to happen in the near future and that the bodies of the faithful would be reanimated, the Gospel of Judas taught a controversial doctrine: The body is temporary, but the spirit is eternal.

Jesus said, “The souls of every human race will die. But when those (who belong to the holy race) have completed the time of the kingdom and the spirit separates from them, their bodies will die but their souls will be alive and they will be lifted up.

Gospel of Judas 8:1-4

That sounds suspiciously like the state of enlightenment at the heart of Buddhism, which was gaining favor around this time.

By the end of the gospel, Judas reaches enlightenment, er, comprehends Jesus’ teachings. No longer turning his eyes away from Jesus, he looks up and enters nirvana, er, that infinite cloud of light. 

The torture and execution of Jesus, whom many believed would be another warrior king, dealt a severe blow to the faith of many early Christians. The Gospel of Judas attempts to show that the crucifiction (and murder of Judas) shouldn’t be disheartening: “This gospel suggests that our lives consist of more than what biology or psychology can explore — that our real life begins when the spirit of God tranforms the soul,” Pagels and King write.

A depiction of Lucifer devouring poor Judas

Was Judas a Demon?

Another scholar, April D. DeConick, offers a contradictory view. She questions the mainstream interpretation of the Gospel of Judas, arguing that instead of being the favored apostle, Judas was actually a demon. 

That’s a misinterpretation of the Greek, according to Pagels and King. Jesus calls Judas the “thirteenth god,” using the word “daimon.” Of course this later developed a negative connotation, worming its way into our language as “demon.” But in Greek thought, the term indicated a lesser god or even an individual’s lot in life. 

“Indeed,” the authors state, “Plato wrote that everyone possesses a daimon” — an idea picked up by Philip Pullman in the His Dark Materials series. –Wally

Alexander the Great: 8 WTF Facts About His Early Life

Young, bisexual, clever and brave: How this military genius was supposedly responsible for the destruction of one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, solved the Gordian knot, succeeded King Philip II of Macedon and almost died in his first battle against the Persian Empire.

This young man accomplished so much in his short time on Earth

Only the chosen few historical figures merit an epithet. But no one should begrudge Alexander being called the Great. In fact, “Great” doesn’t seem to do this military genius justice. 

I recently cruised through Philip Freeman’s highly entertaining history book, Alexander the Great. It helps that this ancient conqueror’s life, which was all too short, was nonetheless packed with dramatic moments. That’s not to diminish the author’s talent, though. Alexander the Great is as close to a novel as any history book could be.

“Attalus proceeded to rape Pausanias, and then invited all of his guests to do likewise.

After they were done, he was brought to the stables for the mule drivers, the lowliest of servants, to have their way with the unconscious young man as well.”

Here are eight surprising stories I learned about Alexander the Great’s early life.

What woman could resist seduction by Zeus, this sexy beast — even in the form of a lightning bolt? Certainly not Alexander’s mom!

1. His mother claimed he was the son of Zeus.

Alexander’s mother, Olympias, an intense woman who wasn’t afraid to fight for what she wanted, told him that he was wasn’t actually the son of King Philip II of Macedonia. Instead, he was the offspring of the king of the gods, Zeus, who seduced her in the form of a lightning bolt. How shocking! This revelation surely spurred on her son’s hubris as he set off with the humble goal of conquering the world. 

Alexander, who was born in 356 BCE, had been brought up believing he had divine ancestors on both sides: His mother was said to have been a relative of Achilles, the son of Thetis the nereid, a minor goddess of the sea. And his father Philip could trace his lineage back to Herakles (better known to us by his Roman name, Hercules), a demigod who was also the son of Zeus.

The Building of the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus by Hendrik van Cleve III. Do we have Alexander the Great to blame for its loss?

2. His birth became part of a legend about the destruction of one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.

Helping lend import to the birth of this astounding conqueror was a story that spread, claiming he was the cause of the complete annihilation of the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. The goddess, you see, was out of town, attending Alexander’s birth, distracted while her temple burned to the ground. 

“The Persian priests known as Magi who were resident in Ephesus reportedly ran madly about the ruins of the temple beating their faces and declaring that one who would bring calamity on Asia had been born that day,” Freeman says. “Other writers more soberly pointed out that the highly flammable temple had been burned down repeatedly in the past and on this occasion had been set ablaze by a mentally disturbed man.”

Never let the truth get in the way of some good propaganda.

Alexander the Great much preferred battles to the bedroom

3. Alexander didn’t like sex or sleeping.

I’ve always thought of Alexander the Great as a gay superhero of sorts, but he had sexual relations with both males and females. He had three sons from various women, though he did seem to prefer boys, even from an early age. In fact, his overbearing mother, Olympias, was worried about his lack of interest in the ladies and went so far as to hire the hottest prostitute around, a Thracian beauty named Callixeina, to seduce her son. It didn’t work. 

“It seems that the unrestrained passion and subsequent weariness of lovemaking deeply troubled the young man,” Freeman writes. “As Alexander would confess years later, sex and sleep more than anything else reminded him that he was mortal.”

This handsome gent is King Philip II, father of Alexander the Great. Hell hath no fury like a gay guy scorned: One of his ex-lovers assassinated him

4. The assassin of his father, Philip II, partly blamed the king for his being gang-raped.

A noble page named Pausanias was quite the looker, and Philip took him as a lover. But once Pausanias was no longer an adolescent, Philip lost interest, the perv. Another royal courtier also named Pausanias (it must’ve been the Chris of Ancient Macedonia) became the king’s boy toy, and the first P was cast aside. L’il P, perhaps in part because his rival had spread rumors about him being a hermaphrodite slut, died in a battle against the Illyrians, trying to prove his manliness.

A general named Attalus was upset at the loss of one of his favorites and plotted revenge on the first Pausanias. He invited the young man to a feast, and instead of diluting the wine like usual, he plowed him with full-strength booze. Soon P had passed out on the couch. Attalus proceeded to rape him, and then invited all of his guests to do likewise. After they were done, P was brought to the stables for the mule drivers, the lowliest of servants, to have their way with the unconscious young man as well.

When he awoke the next day (sore, I’m sure), he found himself the laughing stock of the Macedonian court. As time went by, Pausanias decided to avenge himself. General Attalus had left to command troops in Asia, but King Philip was around. On the morning of the marriage of Philip’s daughter Cleopatra, Pausanias rushed the ruler and stabbed him in the chest, killing him. 

Pausanias’ conspirators betrayed him, the assassin was caught and killed, and his corpse was hung on a cross like a slave.

Sure, she looks sweet on this coin. But Alexander’s mother, Olympias, was anything but

5. Alexander’s mother was a baby-burning monster.

In the months after the king’s death, Olympias performed some horrific acts while Alexander was away. She forced Philip’s young widow, another Cleopatra, to watch as her infant daughter was roasted alive. Olympias then presented Cleopatra with three “gifts”: a rope, a dagger and poison, letting her choose her means of suicide. 

Alexander’s mother, Olympias, oversees the crucifixion of Pausanias, who murdered the king. She also ordered the death of a child and forced her rival to commit suicide (looks like she chose the rope)

“Alexander was reportedly shocked by his mother’s behavior, but he did not punish her,” Freeman writes.

Alexander Consulting the Oracle of Apollo by Louis Jean François Lagrenée. When you fancy yourself conqueror of the world, you don’t care if the Oracle at Delphi says she’s busy

6. Oracles helped bolster Alexander’s claim to divinity and predicted his success.

I’ve always wished we still had oracles — something about these mysterious priestesses who act as vessels for the gods, answering queries in nebulous riddles, has always appealed to me.

Alexander, too, was fascinated by oracles, as were many people at the time. So when he got to the famous Oracle of Delphi and learned that the priestess was in religious seclusion, not to be disturbed, Alexander barged into her lodgings and dragged her to the shrine. When the woman shouted, “You are invincible!” it must have been music to his ears.

Later, once he reached Egypt, Alexander marched his troops on a grueling trek through the desert to the oasis of Siwa, where another oracle resided, this one to the chief deity of the Egyptian pantheon, Amun. 

The priest, who had a thick accent while speaking Greek, greeted Alexander with a slight slip of the tongue. Instead of saying, “O my child,” it came out “O child of the god.” That was all Alexander needed to hear to cement his divine parentage. 

A slip of the tongue by a priest — and you could fancy yourself a demigod, like Alexander the Great did

It might seem strange to us to think that someone could actually believe they were born of a god. But keep in mind that Alexander was in Egypt, a land where the pharaohs who ruled over it had long claimed divine parentage; it was a large part of what legitimized their claim to the throne.

Alexander ended the session with the oracle by asking if he was destined to be master of all the world. 

The oracle nodded. It must have been a welcome surprise, as oracles are known for their frustratingly cryptic responses, which could interpreted in contradictory ways. But there’s not much to doubt from a nod of assent. 

“Alexander’s mother presented her rival with three “gifts”: a rope, a dagger and poison, letting her choose her means of suicide. ”

7. Alexander almost died in his first battle against the Persians.

Imagine how different things would have been if this mighty king had fallen so early in his campaign. During a melee packed with aristocrats at the Granicus River in 334 BCE, Alexander stabbed a man named Mithridates, the son-in-law of the Great King of Persia, right in the face, killing him. Distracted by this battle, Alexander didn’t notice another Persian nobleman, Rhoesaces, who struck a blow on his head so hard it broke his helmet in two. Alexander recovered enough to skewer Rhoesaces with his lance. As this was happening, the satrap, or provincial governor, raised his sword to kill Alexander. A veteran Macedonian soldier known as Black Cleitus rushed forward and cleanly sliced off the man’s arm at the shoulder, right as it hovered in its death blow above Alexander.

I told you: There’s no shortage of drama in this tale.

Sometimes it’s best to take the easy way out — if you can exploit a loophole like Alexander did when faced with a seemingly impossible task

8. Alexander had a controversial way of solving the challenge of the Gordian knot.

It was the stuff of legends: A knot attached to the yoke of a wagon at the temple of Zeus in the land of Phrygia was so complex, all those who tried to undo it failed. And plenty tried, for it was said that whoever could do so would rule all of Asia. 

That’s just the sort of challenge Alexander couldn’t resist. The knot was made of rough bark with no visible ends. Not wanting to lose face, Alexander took one look at the complex jumble, whipped out his sword and cut the knot in two.

That always felt a bit cheaty to me when I heard this tale — though you’ve got to respect the guy for so cleverly exploiting a loophole. –Wally

Tutmania!

Fascination with King Tut swept the nation, from a Batman villain to Steve Martin’s hit Saturday Night Live song.

A pop art take on King' Tut’s legendary funerary mask

Tutmania, which swept the West upon discovery of the Boy King’s tomb in 1922, experienced a resurgence when King Tut’s riches toured the United States in ’76. Due to fear of hijacking, the precious artifacts traveled in secrecy aboard the U.S.S. Sylvania, where they were stored amidst boxes of refrigerated hamburger patties.

An illustrated French newspaper depicts the discovery of Tutankhamun’s treasure-laden tomb, which sat undisturbed by 3,500 years

Even a brand of lemons was named after the Boy King

Candy, Cross Stitch and Kitsch

The commoditization of the U.S.’s fascination with this pharaoh has included everything from Tut-branded California lemons (circa the 1940s) to unlicensed kitsch — including T-shirts with a pair of strategically placed golden burial masks proclaiming, “Keep Your Hands Off My Tuts!” (from the 70s). 

Tutmania invaded many aspects of American life, showing up on kitschy T-shirts like this one

There was even a softbound book of needlepoint patterns, which the creator, Robert Horace Ross, based upon the touring Treasures of Tutankhamun exhibition. 

Who wouldn’t want a needlepoint of King Tut’s golden mask?

Novelty candies for kids included Yummy Mummies — artificially flavored hard candy sticks, similar in size to a tongue depressor and manufactured by the makers of Fun Dip. In the U.K., Terry’s Pyramint, the forgotten ’80s sibling of the Chocolate Orange, was packaged in a pyramid-shaped box. Inside was a dark chocolate pyramid with a hollow center filled with mint fondant similar in consistency to a Cadbury Creme Egg. 

The tubby Batman villain King Tut was obviously delusional

Holy Cheesy Appropriation, Batman!

King Tut even made an appearance on the lighthearted 1960s TV series, Batman. Portrayed by the portly actor Victor Buono, the over-the-top villainous character of King Tut was invented for the small screen, making its first appearance in ’66 on a two-episode story arc, “The Curse of Tut/The Pharaoh’s in a Rut.”

A King Tut Batman Lego figurine

More high camp than the gritty realism of writer-director Christopher Nolan’s feature film take on the Dark Knight, Tut’s alter ego was a well-mannered professor of Egyptology named William Omaha McElroy. Knocked unconscious during a student riot at Yale, McElroy awakens, believing himself to be a diabolical King Tut. His appearance was announced by a ram-headed statue, mistakenly referred to as a sphinx. The villainous Tut takes up residence in an Egyptian exhibit in the Gotham City Museum, complete with a harem of comely women.

Fisticuffs ensue, various comic book KAPOWs, BOOMs and BOFFs appear on screen, and the episode ends with a literal cliffhanger: a kidnapped Bruce Wayne exiting the rear door of an ambulance (strapped to a gurney no less) before the vehicle drives off a 300-foot cliff. 

The character obviously has some lasting appeal: It made an appearance in The Lego Batman Movie.

Steve Martin performed a silly song about King Tut on Saturday Night Live — which went on to become a Top 20 hit!

A Wild and Crazy Songwriter

In 1978, comedian Steve Martin wrote and debuted an elaborate sketch on Saturday Night Live accompanied by his song “King Tut” satirizing the fascination with the Treasures of Tutankhamun exhibition.

The show’s creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels pulled out all the stops, and it was one of the most expensive sketches performed on SNL. Martin, dressed in psuedo-Egyptian costume, sang and danced, turning his head and arms in opposite directions in imitation of Ancient Egyptian paintings.

Even though I was only 9 years old at the time, I can still remember the verse, “Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, King Tut.” A classic moment from the skit featured musician Lou Marini emerging from a sarcophagus in gold face paint to perform a raucous saxophone solo with Martin placing a blender at his feet as an offering. Not long after, the single, cleverly credited to Steve Martin and the Toot Uncommons, reached #17 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, and went on to sell more than a million copies.

The renovated Tut statue at the Oriental Institute in Chicago

King Tut Goes Highbrow

A towering 17-foot-tall statue of King Tutankhamun can be seen in the Egyptian Hall of the University of Chicago’s Oriental Institute Museum. One of a pair, the likeness was discovered during the institute’s excavation efforts at Medinet Habu from 1926 to 1931. The better-preserved statue remained in Egypt, while the other was gifted to the institute. 

Taking casts from the more complete twin statue, the institute’s talented restorer, Donato Bastiani, made the statue whole again. The inscription carved on the back pillar of the statue shows evidence of having been appropriated by Horemheb, the penultimate ruler of the Eighteenth Dynasty. However, the facial features of the figure strongly resemble other representations of Tutankhamun, suggesting that it was originally commissioned for him. Traces of the name of Tut’s successor Ay can be seen under the cartouche of Horemheb, indicating that the statue was usurped not once but twice. –Duke

The Discovery of King Tut’s Tomb

The botched recovery and vandalism of Tutankhamun’s mummy (including its erection!) — and a connection to Downton Abbey.

Everyone ogles over the treasures of King Tut’s tomb — but few know how messy the recovery of the mummy was

Ancient Egypt’s most famous and recognizable pharaoh in the modern world was still a teenager when he died, and his nickname, King Tut, has become a household name. 

When Howard Carter discovered and unsealed Tutankhamun’s tomb in 1922 and revealed its extraordinary contents, he sparked a global interest in archaeology and Ancient Egypt the likes of which had never before been seen. 

It took his team eight years to catalog and remove all of the ancient artifacts within the relatively small tomb. One can only begin to imagine the wealth of relics entombed within the larger royal sepulchres surrounding Tutankhamun’s, prior to being plundered over the centuries. 

New technologies and conservation continue to yield information about his treasures almost a century later. 

Carter (right) must have been dying of impatience while he awaited the arrival of Lord Carnarvon to begin excavating the tomb he found!

When Carnarvon Met Carter

George Herbert, the 5th Earl of Carnarvon, was the patron who footed the bill for the search for Tutankhamun’s tomb. He was also the lord of Highclere Castle, the impressive estate where Downton Abbey is filmed. And like the fictional Lord Grantham, Carnarvon married into money. 

Is that Downton Abbey? Sort of — the show is set in the real-life Highclere Castle, once home to Lord Carnarvon, who paid for the search for and excavation of Tut’s tomb

He liked fast horses and even faster cars. A near-fatal automobile accident in 1903 (he was reportedly going a whopping 30 mph or so) left him in chronic pain, and his physician advised the restoring influence of a warmer climate. So he and Lady Carnarvon often spent their winters in Cairo, buying antiquities for their collection and sparking his passion for Egyptology. 

Carnarvon only lived five months after being a part of the discovery of the tomb of Tutankhamun

In 1907, Lord Carnavon was introduced to a driven and stubborn young archaeologist named Howard Carter by French Egyptologist Gaston Maspero, who was the director general of the Egyptian Department of Antiquities. 

From the very beginnings of their association, Carter wanted to excavate the Theban necropolis of the Valley of the Kings (modern-day Luxor) in search of the elusive tomb of a minor 18th Dynasty pharaoh, first known through a small faience cup inscribed with the king’s name that was found by American Egyptologist Theodore Davis in 1905. 

Permission to excavate in the valley was granted to Carnarvon in 1914 but didn’t commence until 1917 due to World War I. After four relatively fruitless seasons, and with the final resting place of Tutankhamun undiscovered, Carnarvon was ready to put an end to Carter’s search. Were it not for Carter’s insistence to continue for one more season, the tomb might never have been found. 

If Carver hadn’t insisted on searching for one more season, King Tut’s tomb might never have been found!

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Was Tutankhamun murdered? Did he die from a chariot accident? We help solve one of the great mysteries of Ancient Egypt.

DISCOVER: How Did King Tut Die?

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Talk about a 12-step program! These stairs were the first evidence of the wonders that lay within this untouched tomb

On the morning of November 1, 1922, the top of a sunken staircase was revealed. By the following afternoon, 12 steps had been cleared. Carter ordered his men to refill the staircase and sent off the now-famous telegram to Carnavon, who was in England at the time: 

At last I have made wonderful discovery in Valley; a magnificent tomb with seals intact; re-covered same for your arrival; congratulations.

The earl’s death, five months after the tomb was opened, purportedly from a mosquito bite, is the stuff of legends and is regarded by some as evidence of the curse of the pharaoh. 

Be careful, Carter and Co.! The poor mummy of King Tut was horribly mangled during its removal process

Off With His Head!

It wasn’t until 1925 that Tut’s mummy was finally revealed. The bands of linen cloth that covered the king from head to feet had been saturated by copious amounts of unguents and resins, leaving his desiccated skin the color and texture of nori seaweed. Perhaps it was thought that by making the boy king appear as Osiris, the god of the afterlife, the transgressions of his heretic father, Akhenaten, who foisted monotheism upon the unwilling population, would be forgiven. 

Whoops! Carter and his team accidentally decapitated the Boy King when they took off the funerary mask

Over time these resins changed into a hardened black substance, acting as a glue and adhering his body to the coffin. Carter and his anatomist, Douglas Derry, had to chisel the king's remains out in pieces. Tut’s mummy was unceremoniously decapitated by Carter and his team when its golden death mask was removed. 

On the wall to the right, Tut is shown with his ka, or embodied soul, worshipping Osiris, the mummified god of the afterlife

The Osiris Connection: A Boner of Contention

Beneath their swaddling, Tutankhamun's mortal remains had more than a few unusual features. According to Carter’s notes, a conical form, composed of linen bandages, was found atop the king’s head, its shape resembling the feathered, bowling pin-shaped atef crown of Osiris. 

Also noted by Carter was that Tut’s mummy had a woody. The royal penis was embalmed and preserved in an upright nearly 90-degree angle, perhaps symbolically evoking Osiris’ fertility and regenerative powers. 

Photographed after unwrapping by Harry Burton, Tut’s member was reported missing in 1968, when British scientist Ronald Harrison took a series of X-rays of the mummy. His royal endowment sprung up on a CT scan in 2006, hidden in the sand surrounding the king’s remains.

The consensus among Egyptologists was that additional damage to Tutankhamun’s mummy was done by looters sometime after Carter had finished clearing the tomb of its contents in 1932 — most likely during World War II and again in 1968. Both ears were missing, and the eyes had been pushed in. The standing theory is that the looters had bribed the Valley of the Kings guards to let them in, steal the remaining jewelry left in the tomb, and “blinded” and “deafened” the mummy to keep it from coming after them.  

The famous funerary mask of King Tut seems to help prove that Nefertiti did indeed become pharaoh

A Recycled Mask From Nefertiti 

Interestingly, the most iconic of Tutankhamun’s treasures, his golden death mask, seems to have originally been intended for his stepmother, Nefertiti. 

The face, ears and beard of the beautifully wrought mask were modeled separately to represent the young king as Osiris. Research has revealed that one of the cartouche inscriptions found inside the mask was reinscribed in antiquity with Tutankhamun’s name imposed over the previous, partially erased cartouche of Ankhkheperure Neferneferuaten, the official name used by Nefertiti after she became co-pharaoh of Egypt. This has led some to believe that, like Hatshepsut, Ancient Egyptians attempted to edit out a woman’s rule as king. 

Can you imagine how freaked out the museum staff must have been when they broke off King Tut’s funerary mask beard?!

The Broken Beard 

In August 2014, the elongated braided beard attached to that iconic funerary mask accidentally snapped off while staff at the Egyptain Museum in Cairo were replacing a lightbulb in its glass display case. A sloppy attempt to hastily reattach the beard with epoxy followed, further damaging the treasured 3,300-year-old mask. This iconic item was taken off display to be restored by a team of German specialists. The resinous glue was carefully removed and the beard reattached with beeswax, an adhesive used in antiquity. 

This 1925 photo by Harry Burton shows that Tut’s beard had broken off previously

Interestingly, this wasn’t the first time the beard had been separated from the mask, though. Photographs taken of the artifact in 1925 by Burton are of a beardless Tut, and it apparently wasn’t reattached until the 1940s. 

The scarab on this necklace was created by a meteorite crash!

Jewelry That’s Literally Out of This World 

Among the incredible objects discovered in Tut’s tomb was a protective scarab pendant featuring a rare chartreuse yellow gemstone originally identified as chalcedony by Carter. However, modern researchers determined that it’s not a stone at all but a type of extraterrestrial glass created by a meteorite that crashed into the silica-rich sands of the Grand Sand Sea millions of years ago. Known as Libyan desert glass, this material was valued by the Ancient Egyptians as having celestial origins. –Duke

The Mummified Animals of Ancient Egypt

4 reasons Egyptian animal mummies were created — and what the mummification process involved. (Spoiler alert: Think turpentine enemas.)

One wing of the Egyptian Museum in Cairo contains animal mummies like this baboon

When they hear the word “mummy,” most people think of the bad horror movies of the past that starred a reanimated corpse wrapped in what looks like toilet paper. Those of us who have visited Egypt have been lucky (or perhaps unfortunate) enough to have seen rooms full of the dark-skinned, twisted, desiccated remains of the ancient pharaohs.

But humans weren’t the only ones who were mummified by the Ancient Egyptians: Animal mummies were produced from about 800 BCE to 400 CE. This included all sorts of creatures, from cats and dogs to bulls, crocodiles, birds and more. They even mummified hippos!

“The animal’s butt was then plugged with a “linen tampon” until all internal organs had softened and would flow out when uncorked.”

There were four types of animal mummies in Ancient Egypt:

1. Food for the deceased in the hereafter

Leg of goat or duck breast, anyone?

Ancient Egyptians expected (or at least hoped for) an afterlife much like their time on Earth. They wanted to play with their toys, ride chariots, go hunting and perform other activities they enjoyed while alive. And that of course included eating. So the mummified remains of animals found in some tombs were there to provide sustenance in the next world. 

Ancient Egyptians wanted their pet kitties to be with them in the afterlife, so they were mummified and put into their tombs (let’s hope they were at least allowed to live out their natural lives)

2. Pets of the deceased

It’s not clear if these pets were killed or allowed to live out their natural lives. But who doesn’t want to play with their pet gazelle or dog in the afterlife? I know my version of heaven would include my cats, Co-Co, Norman and Bowzer, all lounging with me while I watch new episodes of Gilmore Girls and Jane the Virgin. 

Part of Egypt was home to a cult that worshiped (and mummified) bulls

3. Cult animals

Some animals were thought to house the spirit of a god during its life. Bull cults were particularly popular, but other animals joined the minor pantheon. People could predict the height of the Nile flood based on where crocodiles built their nests. Baboons were associated with Ra, the sun god, because every morning they face the east and raise a racket, which Ancient Egyptians believed helped the sun rise. And sacred ibises, now extinct since the 19th century, with their crescent moon-shaped beaks, were connected to the god of wisdom, Thoth, who bears an ibis head. 

This falcon mummy was a cult animal or an offering to a deity like Horus

4. Votive offerings 

This is similar to a candle lit in a church — only it’s an offering of something like a desiccated corpse of a crocodile instead.

Votive offerings weren’t considered divine — they were simply offerings to the gods. It strikes me as a bit odd that you’d offer up a dried-up dead cat to honor the feline-headed Bast, for instance. It seems she might take offense, but I’m assuming she didn’t. The Egyptian gods are an odd bunch. 

Animal votive offerings packed prayers with an added punch. The animals were believed to gain access to the realm of the afterlife to carry pleas to the gods.

And they were a big biz. Massive amounts of animal mummies have been unearthed at Saqqara (8 million dog mummies alone!). That was just one of many sites throughout the country where votive animal mummies were discovered. In fact, it’s thought that up to 70 million animals were turned into votive offerings throughout the Egyptian Empire. 

This votive offering contains dog bones

I don’t like this idea, but researchers think that many of the animals were killed to meet the demand of pilgrims seeking favors from the gods. In fact, millions of animals were victims of breeding farms, raised for the sole purpose of being killed and mummified. I suppose it’s not much different from factory farms or what happens to alligators in New Orleans, where their heads are piled high in every souvenir shop. And something tells me the rabbit once attached to the foot I had as a good luck charm as a kid didn’t die of natural causes. 

The sacred ibis is now extinct, but the long-billed bird was associated with Thoth, the god of wisdom

Researchers from the Manchester Museum and the University of Manchester in England used X-rays and CT scans to examine over 800 Ancient Egyptian animal mummy votive offerings. They found that one-third contained actual mummies of birds, cats, crocodiles and other animals. Another third had only partial remains. And the final third had no animal remains at all: They were linen wrappings stuffed with mud, sticks, eggshells, feathers and herbs.

At first, these offerings were thought to be fakes meant to dupe unsuspecting pilgrims. But the resin and contents found within were different for each type of animal and were actually quite expensive at the time. So the buyers might have been aware that they weren’t getting actual mummies and were OK with that. After all, they still had something of great value — but less expensive than a proper mummy — to offer to the gods.

Below the arches, you can see a variety of animal mummies in this illustration by Giovanni Battista Belzoni, a well-known archaeologist

How Animals Were Mummified

The discovery of sacred bull remains have allowed scientists to figure out how Ancient Egyptians mummified animals. (It’s gruesome but surprisingly similar to what they did to humans who couldn’t afford the royal treatment.)

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ANCIENT EGYPT’S MUMMIFICATION PROCESS EXPLAINED

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Known as Buchis bulls, the holy animals were the center of a cult in Armant, a town south of Luxor. They were associated with Montu, a falcon-headed god of war, and represented strength and fertility.

Turpentine enemas and linen butt plugs were involved in the time-consuming process to make a bull mummy

To mummify one of these beasts, they probably first inserted turpentine or juniper oil into the anus or, ahem, a nearby orifice. Archaeologists have found enemas, douches and vaginal retractors at the excavation site. The animal’s butt was then plugged with what the sign at the Egyptian Museum in Cairo called a “linen tampon” until all internal organs had softened and would flow out when uncorked.

The animal was then packed in natron (hydrous native sodium carbonate — a fancy way to say that it’s a salt). This naturally occurring preservative worked wonders in drying out corpses. Large animals were laid in natron for 40 days (just like humans).

The Buchis bulls were arranged in the position of a sphinx — not natural for the animals, so they had to cut the leg tendons to avoid breaking any bones. 

Animal mummies were ceremonially wrapped in linen, then coated in a resin to help preserve and protect them from disintegration and bug infiltration. This time-consuming and expensive method resulted in a mummy as good as that of any human. –Wally

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CROCODILE MUMMIES AT THE KOM OMBO MUSEUM

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