Lesser-Known Egyptian Gods

Nut, Geb, Bes and Ptah, oh my! A who’s who of Egyptian deities.

Even if you’re familiar with the stars of the Ancient Egyptian pantheon like Osiris and Re, you probably don’t know some of their colorful cohorts. Meet the less well-known but still batshit crazy gods and goddesses who sport the head of a lion, crocodile, dung beetle and other creatures.

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RELATED: The Major Egyptian Gods

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Aten

Aka: Aton

Domain: The sun

Description: The sun with a uraeus (the sacred asp) at its base, with rays of light that each end in outstretched hands, some of which hold ankhs when shining upon anyone in the royal family.

Strange story: Historians believe that Pharaoh Akhenaten’s decree to abandon the old gods and worship only the Aten is the first instance of monotheism — and could very well have influenced the Jewish religion.

Bes

Aka: Aha

Domain: Protector of children and pregnant women

Description: A dwarf with a large head featuring bulging eyes, a protruding tongue, a beard and a lion’s mane. Sometimes depicted with a large belly and sagging breasts

Consort: Beset 

Strange story: Pilgrims would spend the night in incubation chambers covered with images of Bes and Beset to cure themselves of infertility or impotence.

Geb

Domain: Personification of the Earth, healing — colds, fevers and scorpion stings in particular

Description: A man lying on his side, one arm supporting himself, beneath his spouse, Nut, the personified sky. Grain sprouts from his ribs and vegetation from his back.

Consort: Nut

Strange story: His laughter is what causes earthquakes.

Hapi

Aka: Hapy

Domain: The yearly flooding of the Nile

Description: A man with a swollen belly, long hair and pendulous female breasts, sometimes with a cluster of papyrus on his head

Strange story: One ancient text relates that 1,089 goats were sacrificed to Hapi in a fertility rite.

Khepri

Domain: The sun

Description: A black scarab, or dung beetle, or a man with one for his head.

Strange story: Male scarabs push around small balls of dung. Ancient Egyptians believed that the sun, in turn, was pushed through the sky every day by Khepri.

Min

Aka: Amun-Min

Domain: Male virility

Description: A black mummified man who holds his wrappings in his right hand and his hard-on in his left, though he’s often shown with only one arm and one leg

Strange story: Offerings to Min depicted lettuce, a symbol of sex due to its semen-like milky sap.

Neith

Domain: War, creation, motherhood and the funerary process

Description: One of the oldest of the Egyptian pantheon, Neith’s iconography shifted through the centuries. She’s sometimes shown as a woman holding an ankh and was scepter or wearing the Red Crown of Lower Egypt. She’s also depicted holding a bow and arrow or a harpoon. As the mother of Sobek, she’s shown suckling a small crocodile at each breast. The goddess could also appear in the guise of a serpent or fish.

Strange story: She’s so wise that even the sun god Re comes to her for counsel. But if you don’t follow her advice, she gets so angry she’ll make the sky fall. 

Nut

Domain: The sky

Description: A naked woman bending over to form the heavens, her feet and hands on the horizon below. She’s sometimes depicted as a cow or sow.

Strange story: Every night, she swallows the sun, giving birth to it in the morning.

Ptah

Aka: Ptah-Nun

Domain: Creation and craftsmanship

Description: A mummified man with a long, thin erection, wearing a skull cap and false beard and carrying a scepter

Consort: Sekhmet

Strange story: While some believed that Ptah created the world on his potter’s wheel, others credited him with thinking or speaking the world into existence.

Sekhmet

Domain: Violence and healing

Description: A lion-headed woman

Consort: Ptah

Strange story: When the sun god Re grew old, his subjects plotted against him. To punish them, Re sent Sekhmet, who, in a destructive frenzy, went on a rampage, breathing fire and nearly wiping out the entire human race.

Sobek

Domain: Water

Description: A man with a crocodile head, sometimes wearing a headdress with tall feathers, horns and the sun

Strange story: Watch out, ladies! Sobek’s nickname is the Raging One because he’s known to “take women from their husbands whenever he wishes according to his desire.”

Pro tip: One of the less-visited temples in Egypt, Kom Ombo, is dedicated to Sobek and has a museum of mummified crocodiles next door.

Taweret

Aka: Tawaret

Domain: Motherhood

Description: A grimacing hippo with sagging tits and a pregnant belly

Consort: Seth or Bes

Strange story: Containers made of faience were shaped like Taweret to hold breast milk. Two holes in the nipples allowed the milk to be poured out for magic rituals. –Wally

The Major Egyptian Gods and Goddesses

Who the heck were Anubis, Osiris, Thoth and Amun? Learn about Egyptian deities and the crazy stories of Egyptian mythology.

Look for the various deities from Egyptian mythology as you explore temples like Dendera, with this colorful wall featuring Thoth, Horus, Isis and others

As a kid, I loved mythology (still do) — but I hated how many different versions there were of every tale. Couldn’t they all just agree upon one story and stick with it?

Of course, now, as an adult, I realize things aren’t that simple. Deities begin as one thing and evolve into something else. They get conflated with other gods. Their worship extends to a new region, where they take on new aspects. 

If you’re planning a trip to see the wonders of Egypt, it’s helpful to know a bit about the gods and goddesses beforehand. Temple carvings can blur together after a while, so it’s more fun to be able to spot the deities in the images: Hey! I know that green-skinned mummy-looking dude! That’s Osiris, lord of the afterlife! 

Here’s a primer on this often-bizarre pantheon, mostly culled from The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt by Richard H. Wilkinson. (And be sure to check out our glossary of the lesser-known Ancient Egyptian gods, too!)

Amun

Aka: Amon, Amen, Amun-Re

Domain: The sun and fertility. As the supreme god of the Egyptian pantheon, he’s also credited in some tales for thinking the world into being.

Description: A human male, often with the head of a ram

Consort: Mut

Strange story: A young daughter of the reigning pharaoh was given the role of divine wife of Amun. Her duties including rubbing the phallus of the god’s statue until she felt it “orgasm.”

Anubis

Domain: Mummification, death and the afterlife

Description: A man with a black jackal head

Strange story: Anubis mostly likely got this head because desert canines would scavenge the shallow graves in early cemeteries, and people sought protection from the very creature that would threaten their eternal peace.

Bastet

Aka: Bast

Domain: Cats and pregnancy

Description: A woman with the head of a cat, or simply a cat itself

Strange story: Entire cemeteries at Saqqara and elsewhere are filled with cat mummies killed as offerings to the goddess.

Hathor

Domain: Women, female sexuality and motherhood, as well as music and happiness

Description: A woman with bovine features, usually cow ears, as can be seen atop Hathor columns. Sometimes depicted as a cow or a woman wearing a vulture cap.

Consort: Hathor is, alternately, the mother and wife of Horus.

Strange story: One of her nicknames is Mistress of the Vagina. When the sun god Re was depressed, Hathor flashed her pussy at him. It did the trick: Re laughed and rejoined his fellow gods.

Horus

Aka: Re-Horakhty

Domain: The sky, sun and kingship

Description: A falcon-headed man or infant

Strange story: During an epic battle with his Uncle Seth, Horus climbed a mountain with his mother Isis’ decapitated head. He fell asleep, and Seth snuck up and gouged out Horus’ eyes and buried them. Lotuses sprouted from the eyes, and the goddess Hathor restored Horus’ sight by pouring gazelle milk over the sockets.

Isis

Domain: The cosmos, magic, mourning and the dead

Description: A woman with large horns and the solar disc atop her head, sometimes with wings

Consort: She’s the sister and wife of Osiris, with whom she had Horus.

Strange story: A popular way to depict Isis was to show her breastfeeding Horus. Because pharaohs were the living incarnation of Horus, Egyptian kings were said to drink Isis’ breast milk as well.

Maat

Aka: Ma’at

Domain: Truth, justice and the cosmic order

Description: A woman with a bird’s tail feather atop her head, sometimes shown with wings under her arms

Consort: Thoth

Strange story: Upon death, the heart was placed upon a scale. If it weighed less or the same as the feather of Maat, the person had led a virtuous life and could go on to the afterlife. If not, they’d be devoured by the demoness Ammit, who was part lion, hippo and crocodile. 

Mut

Domain: Motherhood

Description: Early depictions show her with the head of a lioness, but she’s most often shown as a woman in a feathered dress wearing either the White Crown of Upper Egypt or the Double Crown of the Two Lands.

Consort: Amun

Strange story: Mut was sometimes shown with an erection and three heads — those of a vulture, lion and human. In this aspect, she was said to be “mightier than the gods.”

Osiris

Domain: Ruling over death, resurrection and fertility, he’s the lord of the underworld.

Description: A green mummy holding the crook and flail, symbols of Egyptian royalty, and wearing the atef crown, a white bowling pin-like headpiece flanked by two tall feathers

Consort: Isis

Strange story: His jealous brother Seth murdered him and chopped him into pieces, hiding the body parts all over Egypt. Osiris’ dutiful wife, Isis, hunted down and found all the pieces, save one: his pecker.

Re

Aka: Ra (though he merged with many other deities as well, including Amun and Horus)

Domain: The sun

Description: The sun, encircled by a cobra, sometimes with wings. He has a falcon head in his Re-Horakhty version.

Strange story: In one myth, Re created the world. When he “cut” his cock, possibly a reference to circumcision, two deities sprang from the drops of blood: Hu (Authority) and Sia (Mind).

Seth

Aka: Set

Domain: Violence, chaos, confusion, cunning and storms

Description: A man with a long tail and a strange curved animal head that has tall, squared-off ears

Strange story: He molested his nephew Horus but then lost the throne of Egypt when he unwittingly ate lettuce that had Horus’ jizz on it. 

Thoth

Domain: Knowledge and the moon

Description: A man with the head of an ibis, a now-extinct bird with a long, thin, curved beak. Sometimes also shown as a baboon

Strange story: Thoth invented writing and is the Lord of Time, recording history. Scribes would pour out a drop of water for him from their brush pot as a libation at the beginning of each day. –Wally

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Were Hatshepsut and Senenmut Lovers?

From speculation that he was gay to that infamous graffiti, we investigate Pharaoh Hatshepsut’s most-trusted advisor, who rose from nothing to become one of the most powerful men at the time. 

Senenmut was certainly Hatshepsut’s right-hand man — but did their relationship extend into the bedroom?

Were they or weren’t they? Egyptologists have debated whether or not Hatshepsut, the woman who became pharaoh, and her right-hand man, Senenmut, were an item. 

Senenmut, who was most likely about 20 years older than Hatshepsut, started out as a nobody. He didn’t come from a respected family — in fact, he was the son of a low-level official in a backwater village 15 miles from the capital city of Thebes (modern-day Luxor). Yet somehow he was chosen for a position at the palace, overseer of the large hall. In this role, Senenmut was in charge of the audience hall, where the king and queen would sit upon their thrones and receive visitors and hear petitions. And that was just the beginning.

“Archaeologists found a drawing of a man and woman having sex doggie-style.

Some think it was a political satire of who really wore the pants, so to speak, in the relationship between Hatshepsut and Senenmut. ”

Senenmut was soon promoted to overseer of the two granaries of the god Amun, a position that gave him access to great wealth and made him an economic authority. In addition to having control of the religious storehouse of wealth, Senenmut also became steward of the king’s and queen’s palaces, thereby controlling vast portions of the Ancient Egyptian economy. 

It’s hard to imagine how one man could do so many things, but Senenmut must have proved himself imminently capable, for he continued to collect titles, becoming responsible for more and more aspects of the state religion and government.

Royal tutors like Senenmut were depicted in this strange, blockish style — perhaps to emphasize their role as protectors of their charges

Wet Nurse for the Brain: Tutor to Neferure

One of the aspects of his illustrious career of which Senenmut was most proud was his role as tutor to Thutmose II and Hatshepset’s daughter, Neferure. It seems he wasn’t allowed to depict himself in the presence of Pharaoh Hatshepsut, but he commissioned numerous statues showing him as tutor to little Neferure — a way of declaring his connection to the royal family.

“The title for the royal tutor in Egyptian is mena nesut, which essentially means ‘male breast for the king’; that is to say, it is the masculine version of a wet nurse whose milk provided an infant with nourishment and protection against disease,” Kara Cooney writes in The Woman Who Would Be King, a marvelous account of Hatshepsut’s life. “The Egyptians believed that a wet nurse became related to her charge through the milk she fed the baby — in a sense, artificially creating blood relations.” 

In a similar sense, a male tutor nourished the mind of his young charge, pretty much becoming part of the family. Senenmut was such a father figure to young Neferure that many have speculated that she was actually his child instead of sickly Thutmose II’s.

“Much ink has been spilled on conjectures about the relationship between Hatshepsut and Senenmut,” Cooney writes, “however, there is no clear indication that Senenmut was anything more than Neferure’s tutor and protector, albeit a very close one.”  

Does this naughty graffiti show Senenmut taking King Hatshepsut from behind?

The Case of the Doggy-Style Graffito

After Thutmose II died, Hatshepset’s nephew Thutmose III became pharaoh. Because he was still a child, Hatshepsut acted as regent for the Egyptian throne, ultimately declaring herself co-pharaoh. 

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Hatshepsut led a colorful early life, including a period when she acted as a “wife” to the chief god of the Egyptian pantheon

SHE DID WHAT TO THE STATUE?! 

9 Fascinating Facts About the Early Life of Hatshepsut

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As ruler of Egypt at a time of great prosperity, Hatshepsut launched numerous construction projects, including the amazingly modern-looking Deir el-Bahari, her funerary temple, in the mid-1400s BCE. A crude drawing found nearby has launched a thousand speculations on the relationship between Hatshepsut and Senenmut. 

Senenmut wanted to be close to his queen in the afterlife. His tomb chapel sits in the hills overlooking Deir el-Bahari, the Mortuary Temple of Hatshepsut

When archaeologists excavated the tombs in the hills above the Mortuary Temple of Hatshepsut, they were, I’m sure, delighted to find a drawing of a man fucking a woman from behind. Surely this was a political satire of who really wore the pants, so to speak, in the relationship between Hatshepsut and Senenmut. 

But there’s nothing to mark the woman as Hatshepsut — no crown, no label — or anything that points to the man being Senenmut, for that matter. It was just too good of a story to pass up. 

While that famous graffito might not reveal that the pharaoh and her trusted advisor were intimate, there are other clues: Senenmut’s image was sneakily included in parts of Hashepsut’s mortuary temple, and his sarcophagus was of a matching pair with Hatshepsut’s.

There’s one other fact that raises suspicions about Senenmut’s connection to his female king, Cooney points out: “Not one of his dozens of statues, reliefs, and temple depictions records the existence of a family of his own,” she writes. “Without a doubt, if anything should make us wonder about the nature of his relationship with Hatshepsut, it is his lack of a wife. All Egyptian elites married.” 

Even if Senenmut was gay — and there might not have been anything wrong with that! — he probably would have still married. Did Hatshepsut just want him as a lover all to herself?

Was Senenmut Gay?

Perhaps Senenmut just preferred the company of men. “The ranks of Egyptian elites undoubtedly included some men with same-sex desires, and some of these men might even have been able to talk of their sexual interests openly,” Cooney writes. 

But assuming that was the case, evidence indicates that gays in Ancient Egypt would have still married, in the hopes of having sons to pass on their legacy. 

Maybe Hatshepsut insisted she have Senenmut all to herself.

Portraits found in Senenmut’s tomb present a less-flattering, probably more-realistic view of what he looked like

What Did Senenmut Look Like?

The statues of Senenmut as tutor to Princess Neferure show him as young and idealized. But the portraits in his tomb are probably more accurate: They “show him as a timeworn man with a hooked nose, lines etched into the skin around his mouth, a flabby, weak chin, and fleshy lips,” Cooney writes, adding, “If these latter images are to be believed, he was not a handsome man.”

Despite being one of the greatest royal advisors in Ancient Egypt, Senenmut was left with an unfinished tomb and an empty, shattered sarcophagus

A Sad End for Senenmut

Whether or not Hatshepsut and Senenmut were lovers, it’s obvious he wanted to be near her in the eternity of the afterlife. While his tomb chapel sits in the hills overlooking the Mortuary Temple of Hatshepsut, he planned to have his body buried in a separate tomb closer to hers. To have a separate location for the tomb, instead of digging it below the funerary chapel, was a right that had previously been reserved for royalty. 

There’s evidence Senenmut lived for about 20 years after Hatshepsut’s death, but no records show that he retained his high position. It’s believed he lost much of his prestige after his beloved perished — and Thutmose III’s subsequent attempt to erase Hatshepsut’s kingship from history certainly wouldn’t have helped. 

Thutmose III, the a-hole who tried to wipe Pharaoh Hatshepsut’s reign from history

Senenmut’s tomb was left unfinished and sealed without his corpse. His sarcophagus was dragged up to his tomb chapel in the Theban hills — though his mummy was never put inside it. The sarcophagus, constructed of quartzite, a durable material, was found smashed into pieces, a task that “would have required extensive labor and great expense,” Cooney writes. “Someone really wanted him disgraced.”

A man who had been that powerful for so long, who was an essential companion to an unconventional pharaoh, surely made many enemies along the way. So it shouldn’t be surprising that there were those who hated him enough to deface his tomb chapel and went to great effort to annihilate his sarcophagus. 

Ancient Egyptians believed that your tomb needed depictions of you so your spirit could find its way back to the preserved corpse each morning throughout eternity. Destroying a mummy and sarcophagus was a way of leaving poor Senenmut’s spirit wandering aimlessly for the rest of time, homeless and separated from all the wealth he had accrued in his impressive life. –Wally

The Glorious Decay of Karnak Temple

The sprawling temple complex in Luxor is considered one of the greatest architectural feats of all time.

Areas like this on the massive temple grounds of Karnak evoked Ancient Rome for Wally

For much of the history of Ancient Egypt, Karnak was the epicenter of worship, situated in the great city of Thebes (modern-day Luxor). Over 3,000 years ago, 30 or so pharaohs each wanted to put his or her stamp upon the temple, adding structures and elements, on and on through the centuries. In less-prosperous times, like the reign of Ramesses VI, the pharaoh simply recarved the additions made by his predecessor, Ramesses IV, and claimed them as his own. And Horemheb replaced King Tut’s name with his own on several monuments at Karnak, in a bid to sever all ties with the heretical lineage of Akhenaton. 

The site sprawled, and today it is the largest surviving religious complex in the world.

“The great temple complex of Karnak was where Hatshepsut first started her genderbending iconography — all before she declared herself pharaoh.”

So much of Karnak as it is today began during the reign of that fascinating figure Hatshepsut, a female pharaoh who ruled during the 15th century BCE. Before her, Karnak was mostly mud brick but she embarked upon an ambitious construction program that included rebuilding Karnak with sandstone, making it more permanent and the basis of the massive complex we can still explore to this day. 

The scale of these massive columns is difficult to describe without experiencing it yourself

Wally loves exploring ancient temples so much, he just had to jump for joy

I’ve mentioned before that a large part of the charm of visiting Egypt is that each temple has something utterly unique about it, and for Karnak it’s the massive scale of the site. In addition, because its stones were plundered for other construction projects, much of the complex lies in a semi-ruined state, which evoked Ancient Rome to me. It’s fun to clamber past large fragments of stone as you explore the temple.

Rows of sphinxes welcome you to Karnak

A Tour of Karnak

We call the temple Karnak today, but that name came from a nearby village, el-Karnak. In ancient times it was known as Ipetisut, “the Most Select of Places.” The main part of the temple was dedicated to that great god, Amun (aka Amon, Amen), who was responsible for fertility and whom Egyptians trusted to keep their country prosperous.

Other, smaller, temples surrounded it, such as the one to Mut, the mother goddess and Amun’s consort.

Admission costs 150 Egyptian pounds, or less than $10, per person. You enter Karnak through an avenue of sphinxes bearing the heads of rams to honor Amun. Between each of their leonine paws, their chins resting on his head, stand small statues of Pharaoh Ramesses II, who commissioned the project.

Ram-headed, lion-bodied sphinxes protect diminutive statues of Ramesses II between their paws

Past these stone guardians, to the right, is a shrine to house the solar barque, used to transport the statue of the god during festivals. Built by Ramesses III, the exterior is lined with statues showing the pharaoh in mummy form with arms crossed to draw a connection with the god Osiris, ruler of the afterlife.

There’s much to explore at Karnak, so be sure to give yourself a couple of hours at least

The Great Hypostyle Hall

Pass under the Second Pylon to come to Karnak’s Great Hypostyle Hall, row upon rows of papyrus columns — 134, in fact. Unlike many other Ancient Egyptian temples, this colonnade is predominantly open-roofed. Blue sky can be seen above, and the sun blazes down upon you. Historians posit that this airy hall was the site of a ceremony called “uniting with the sun” and is supposed to resemble the primeval swamp, part of the creation myth.

The open-air nature of the Great Hypostyle Hall hints at the worship of Amun as a sun god

It’s near impossible to fully comprehend how gigantic some of these columns are, as you stand on the ground, gazing up. But the columns stand six stories high, and it’s said that some of the capitals, or tops, would fit 50 people!

An avenue of sphinxes once led all the way to Luxor Temple, two miles away — and there’s talk of restoring it

In ancient times, statues of deities would have been placed throughout this forest of columns. That’s one of the things that bummed me out most about these temples. As awesome as they are, most are devoid of statuary. I suppose they’ve been relocated to museums around the world — though I wish they had kept at least a few here and there. 

That being said, Karnak is one of the few sites in Egypt where you’ll see quite a few statues on the grounds, though most are of pharaohs not gods. 

You’ll spot quite a few statues as you wander Karnak

Pharaoh after pharaoh repurposed materials to rebuild portions of Karnak over the centuries

Reliefs cover the exterior of the hall, one showing Ramesses II’s Battle of Kadesh, which ended as a stalemate — though the pharaoh proclaimed victory. This was his favorite piece of revisionist history. He depicted his “triumph” at numerous temples, including Karnak, where he had a poem carved that told of his miraculous victory over the Hittites. His army was about to be defeated, but his father, the god Amun, made him invincible — and he single-handedly vanquished 2,500 of his enemies. 

Hatshepsut depicted herself as a pharaoh blessed by the gods on one of her obelisks, now on its side by the Sacred Lake

The great temple complex of Karnak was where Hatshepsut first started her genderbending iconography. A carving shows her wearing a masculine wig and the atef crown, which sported ram’s horns and two feathers — all before she declared herself pharaoh.

It’s truly astounding that the Ancient Egyptians found a way to carve obelisks from a single stone and raise them, where they remain standing, thousands of years later

Obelisks: The Sun Made Stone

Obelisks were the most impressive of architectural feats. Carved from a single block of red granite, the top halves of them were covered in electrum, silver-gold sheets beaten flat. There was no stronger tie to the solar cult than these tall, thin structures resembling the sun’s rays, and, indeed, the metal caught the light, blinding onlookers.

One of the obelisks Hatshepsut erected at the site honors her patron deity, Amun, whom she once served as his “wife.” The inscription reads, in part: “I know that Karnak is Heaven on Earth, the sacred elevation of the first occasion, the eye of the Lord to the Limit, his favorite place, which bears his perfection and gathers his followers.”

Love among the ruins, Wally and Karnak style

A couple of obelisks tower above visitors to this day, and I’m not ashamed to say I was a little freaked out standing beneath them, imagining how easily they could become off-balanced and come crashing down upon us. 

In fact, one obelisk does lie on its side, though it was probably done so purposefully. It’s on these remains, in front of the Sacred Lake, that you can see depictions of Hatshepsut as pharaoh. 

No swimming allowed! The Sacred Lake was where priests would cleanse themselves before rituals

The Sacred Lake

The lake supplied Karnak with water, in part for its priests to cleanse themselves for rituals. 

Nearby is a statue of a scarab (a word that sounds a whole lot cooler than “dung beetle”). Our guide Mamduh told us we should circle it three times for good luck, and a guy on Flickr complains: “Crazy tourists circumambulate — 3 times for luck, 7 times for love, and 10 times for wealth. Makes it hard to get a decent photo.”

Join the throng and walk in circles around the statue of Khepri, the scarab god, by the Sacred Lake. It’s said to be good luck

This is also where you’ll find a café, where we met up with our guide, smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee. He tried to convince us that hot beverages are better for your body in extreme heat, but we ignored his advice and went for ice-cold waters and ice cream treats.

Hatshepsut and Thutmose III make offerings to Amun in the carvings inside the Red Chapel

Hatshepsut’s Red Chapel

Egyptologists gush about Hatshepsut’s Red Chapel, but I don’t get it. To me, it’s not all that impressive, especially compared to all the other marvels found throughout the country, from massive colonnades to towering statues. It’s just a rectangular-shaped building.

Inside this deep red quartzite chapel in the heart of Karnak, Hatshepsut depicted herself as a male ruler. In fact, her images are difficult to tell apart from those of her nephew and co-pharaoh, Thutmose III.

Much like Hatshepsut’s, King Tut’s reign was stricken from the official record

After Hatshepsut’s death and toward the end of his reign, Thutmose III began a campaign to obliterate his co-ruler’s legacy. At Karnak, he took apart her sacred Red Chapel, leaving its bricks in rubble piles nearby. And at the Eighth Pylon, Thutmose III reassigned two colossal statues of Hatshepsut as pharaoh to his father, Thutmose II. The idea was to connect himself with the traditional patriarchal lineage — and hopefully have everyone forget the unconventional time he shared Egypt’s throne with a woman.

In 1997, the French Institute undertook the challenge of rebuilding what they refer to as la Chapelle Rouge. Today you can visit the Red Chapel, and hopefully you won’t have the space crowded with tourists and a woman doing an Instagram photo shoot out the back.

Beyond the Red Chapel, at the back of Karnak, off to the left, you can wander through Thutmose III’s Festival Hall.

Off to the side of the complex is the Akh-Menou, or Thutomose III’s Festival Hall, featuring tentpole columns

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After exploring the rest of the complex, Duke and I wandered past the Sacred Lake, out to the Tenth Pylon. The gateway was closed off, but beyond was once an avenue of sphinxes that led to the Temple of Mut. The road took a turn and joined up with another avenue of sphinxes, this one leading all the way to Luxor Temple, two miles away. Everyone’s abuzz at the prospect of renovating and reopening that avenue — though it didn’t appear much progress had been made when we visited. –Wally

The temple grounds are a mishmash of architecture from many different pharaohs’ reigns

Much of Karnak lies in ruins

Hatshepsut built the Eighth Pylon, making it one of the oldest parts of the temple complex

Historic renderings of Karnak

Even if you don’t read French, this map can help you navigate the Karnak complex

 

The Step Pyramid of Djoser at Saqqara

Don’t just see the Pyramids of Giza. The tombs at Saqqara are the architectural stepping stones that led to those wonders. Oh, and the Step Pyramid is the oldest building in the world.

The tiered structure known as the Step Pyramid at Saqqara is the direct descendant of the smooth-surfaced Great Pyramids at Giza

Using a verbal sleight of hand to distract us after our whirlwind tour of the Giza necropolis, our guide Ahmed, who was selected for us by the Kempinski Nile Hotel in Cairo, began telling us about the history of Saqqara. He paused only briefly to encourage us to stop at a souvenir shop on the way, this one peddling papyrus or perfume, where he would surely get commission if we bought anything. Ahmed seemed to be a knowledgeable guide, but his lack of enthusiasm was glaringly obvious. 

“Considered the first recorded architect in history, Imhotep designed the Step Pyramid at Saqqara and was later portrayed as an evil high priest who had been buried alive in ‘The Mummy.’”

After spending our morning getting rushed through the Pyramids and Sphinx, I mentioned stopping for lunch at the Marriott Mena House, having been told there was a spectacular view of the Pyramids while you ate alfresco. Ahmed replied that he had recently eaten there and dismissed it as overrated and ridiculously expensive, lying about the prices of the meals. It became clear that he wasn’t going to let us go there, even though it was part of our planned itinerary.

It was about this time that I turned to Wally and muttered, “We must have passed the Solar Boat Museum when we were leaving Giza.” We were both upset by this, never imagining we’d have a guide who wouldn’t even ask if we’d want to see the various sites at an attraction. There’s a good chance this would be our only time in Egypt and we wanted to see as much as we could — especially since we were paying for our guide and car service until 4 p.m. 

But were in a stranger’s car in a foreign country and by this time too far away to go back. 

Pharaoh Djoser commissioned the Step Pyramid for his tomb in 2630 BCE

Step on It

Frequently paired with the more famous Giza Plateau, the Saqqara necropolis is where the world’s oldest large-scale stone monument, the Step Pyramid of Djoser, was built. Admission costs 150 Egyptian pounds per person (a bit over $9 at the time of this writing).

Prior to its construction, Ancient Egyptian kings were buried beneath great oblong mud-brick structures with a flat roof and sloping sides known as mastabas. According to the Abydos King List, carved on a temple wall, Djoser was the first king of the Third Dynasty, and it was his 19-year reign that allowed the grandiose plan for his pyramid complex to be completed during his lifetime. 

Built in stages, the Step Pyramid was constructed between 2630 and 2611 BCE. The tomb began as a traditional mastaba, but instead of mud-brick, it was built of stone taken from the nearby enclosed burial complex of Gisr el-Mudir. It was gradually enlarged, with smaller mastabas stacked on top of one another in concentric tiers to form the final height of 200 feet high — steps which the dead king could use to ascend into the heavens.

What’s truly amazing is that that’s just the beginning. What can’t be seen are the three miles of passageways and chambers that were carved beneath the pyramid!

Scaffolding covered parts of the Step Pyramid when we visited

When we visited the atmospheric Step Pyramid of Djoser, it was partially covered in scaffolding. Ahmed told us that it was closed due to ongoing conservation work and structural concerns after an earthquake in 1992. 

Imhotep was many things, including the architect of the Step Pyramid at Saqqara — but a reanimated evil mummy he was not

Imhotep: The Man, the Myth, the Legend 

A man named Imhotep was responsible for the design of the Step Pyramid of Saqqara. Considered the first recorded architect in history, he was later portrayed as an evil high priest who had been buried alive in The Mummy movie franchise. But he was actually just a mortal man whose name translated as “The One Who Comes in Peace.” 

A savant who rose to the top of Egyptian society, Imhotep served as a scribe, architect and vizier in the court of Pharaoh Djoser. He was also a high priest of the creator god Ptah, physician and scientist. That talent would eventually lead to his posthumous deification as the patron god of medicine by the Egyptians and later by the Greeks as Asclepius. 

Duke insisted we include a historically accurate image of Imhotep as well

King Djoser was so pleased with Imhotep’s work that he allowed the architect’s name to be inscribed on the pyramid along with his own. 

Imhotep’s tomb is probably located at Saqqara but has yet to be found. 

Fun fact: In 1964, archaeologist Walter Bryan Emery discovered a network of catacombs holding the remains of thousands of mummified ibises, long-legged, long-necked birds with downward-curving beaks, brought to the necropolis by pilgrims as offerings to the deified Imhotep. (These weren’t the only mummified animal remains found at Saqqara. Learn more about animal mummies here.)

Some of the buildings of Ancient Egypt struck us as surprisingly modern, including the entrance hall to Djoser’s funerary complex

Entrance Hall Colonnade 

Like Hatshepsut’s Mortuary Temple, the clean geometric exterior of Djoser’s entrance hall struck me as quite modern. There’s only one way into the complex, situated in the center of the largest bastion of the enclosure wall. The narrow hall is comprised of 20 pairs of columns, each connected to the side wall by masonry, as opposed to free-standing, and are carved to resemble bundles of reeds. The colonnade was probably once timber-roofed, though now austere concrete slabs hover high above these unique, but decaying, pillars. 

The columns at Djoser’s complex aren’t in the best shape

Heb Sed Court

After passing through the entrance hall colonnade, Wally and I wandered over a low wall and into a sunken open-air courtyard with a raised stone platform. I later learned that this was known as the Heb Sed Court. 

Beyond a pair of elevated shrines or chapels are replicas in stone of structures that would have been used for Heb Sed, the king’s jubilee festival marking the 30th year of a pharaoh’s reign. (As we know, Djoser never quite made it there.) One chapel appears to be a flat-roofed tentlike structure, while the other has a curved roof and false door, a symbolic passageway for the king’s ka, or spirit, to use in the afterlife. 

While we enjoyed our visit, which also included an expedition into the Pyramid of Unas and the Mastaba of Mereruka, Ahmed never went beyond his own agenda and he certainly didn’t encourage us to explore. A lot of the information contained in our posts pertaining to Giza and Saqqara has been supplemented with our own research and curiosity about the sites. –Duke

 

Philae Temple: Saved From Destruction

Catch this island temple of Isis in Aswan after visiting Abu Simbel — and be glad it’s no longer underwater.

When you visit Aswan, be sure to explore this island temple, one of the latest and best preserved in Egypt

That damn dam. 

The Egyptians knew that building the Aswan Dam would destroy a collection of impressive temples of the ancient world. But controlling the fickle waters of the River Nile for agriculture and hydroelectric power trumped architectural preservation. 

So, back in 1899, work began on the first Aswan Dam, sometimes referred to as the Aswan Low Dam. Completed in 1902, the structure plugged up the Nile and created an artificial body of water, Lake Nasser. And from December to March, Philae Temple, one of many such casualties, sat mostly engulfed, only its top peeking above the water.

“The first Aswan Dam flooded Philae Temple from December to March, with only its top peeking above the water.”

For four months of the year, Philae Temple and its nearby buildings, like the Kiosk of Trajan, sat underwater. The temple has since been relocated to a different, and drier, island

The Aswan Low Dam flooded Philae Temple, and the new dam, built in the 1970s, would have entirely submerged this historic treasure

For 70 years, that’s how the temple remained. But flooding from the Nile persisted to plague the area, and the Egyptian leader Gamal Abdel Nasser had dreams of bringing hydroelectric power to the entire country. Plans were drawn up to construct a new barrage, the Aswan High Dam. 

This dam would have completely flooded Philae. So good old UNESCO, the savior of so many historic sites, helmed a project, from 1972 to 1980, to move the temple, brick by numbered brick, to its current home, on Agilkia Island in Aswan.

One of the Ptolemaic pharaohs presents an offering to the goddess Isis, with her massive wings

Cult Center of the Goddess Isis

Lasting well into the Christian era of Ancient Rome, Philae was one of the last places where the Egyptian religion was practiced. Pilgrims came from far away to pay respects to the goddess Isis, who had inspired mystery cults across the empire. 

Poor Isis. Much like the swastika, which was a Hindu symbol for centuries but is now is a cringe-inducing reminder of Nazism, the Egyptian goddess’s name has been besmirched by the Islamic State terrorist group. 

In a characteristically bizarre Egyptian myth, Isis’ husband (and, um, brother) Osiris was murdered and chopped into 14 pieces by his brother Set, who then hid the body parts throughout Egypt. Isis, ever the dutiful wife, searched for the chunks of her beloved’s corpse — one of which, Osiris’ left leg, was hidden on an island near Philae. The goddess was able to recover all of the body parts, save one. Set had thrown Osiris’ penis into the Nile, where it was gobbled up by an Oxyrhynchus, a type of elephantfish.

Duke on the boat ride out to Philae Temple, seen in the background

Whatever Floats Your Boat

Part of the fun of visiting the Temple of Philae is the journey there. We didn’t have a lot of time in Aswan, so we got up at the crack of dawn to visit Abu Simbel (though ideally, you’d time your trip down there to miss the morning crowds and arrive around noon). On the way back to our hotel, the amazing Old Cataract, we asked our guide, Mamduh, if we could fit in Philae. It was getting a bit close to closing time, which was at 4 p.m. when we visited, but we didn’t want to miss seeing the complex.

We parked, and Mamduh walked with us past a small marketplace and down onto the docks. He spoke with a group of men and waved us over to one of the many boats berthed here, all narrow, white and red and lined with tires to act as fenders. We climbed aboard, our captain yanked the throttle, and the motor roared to life. 

These red and white boats are your transport to the island of Agilkia, where Philae has been moved to, stone by stone

The water in this part of the Nile is a deep blue that seems to contain the mysteries of the multiverse. There’s something magical about this peaceful stretch of the famous river, and it’s captivating to see the complex of Philae come into view as you approach from the water. 

We docked, climbed out of the boat and walked up the path to continue our expedition.

The first pylon presents an impressive entrance to the temple

Exploring the Island Temple of Philae

The island houses numerous structures. Most that remain were built by the Ptolemies (of which Cleopatra was the last) in the final two centuries BCE and then by the Roman emperors over the next 300 years.

We started by passing through the first pylon, the towered entrance, built in the telltale Ptolemaic style: two large tapering rectangular blocks joined by a smaller entryway, all sharp angles, with nary a curve or arch to be found. Two decaying lions presented themselves as non-threatening guardians.

This faceless lion doesn’t seem like much of a guardian, poor guy

Once inside the forecourt, we came upon a colonnade, an open courtyard lined by columns. On one side were rooms where priests once conducted scientific inquiries. On the other was a mammisi, or birth house. These structures are common on the outskirts of Egyptian temples and were built to honor the nativity of a deity — in this case, little falcon-headed Horus, the son of Isis and Osiris (somehow born after his father’s pecker got eaten by that fish). 

Duke and Wally at the temple complex

The courtyards have colonnades off to each side

Through another pylon, we entered the interior of the temple. This columned vestibule transported us to another world. We noted the Coptic crosses and Greek inscriptions, from when the temple was closed down and converted into a church around 535 CE by order of Emperor Justinian. In 116 CE, a group of Romans visited Philae and carved their names on the temple wall, leaving behind the oldest surviving Latin inscriptions in Egypt.

The interior of Philae

We then passed through antechambers and side rooms to reach the sanctuary of Isis — the holy of holies, as the Egyptians referred to it. This was a small room at the very back of the temple, with a block of stone that once held the solar boat used to transport the goddess’s statue when it was paraded about during festivals.

A look inside the sanctuary of the temple, where the sacred barque of Isis once sat upon a pedestal

Sunstroke Strikes!

Something we really appreciated about our guide, Mamduh, was that he always encouraged us to wander the sites we visited after he gave us a tour, telling us to take our time and find him at the ubiquitous nearby café. We highly recommend booking him or another guide through Egypt Sunset Tours.

With most of the other temples of Ancient Egypt in desert settings, one of the coolest things about Philae is the vistas with views of the water

In addition to the main temple, there are other, smaller, buildings to see on the island. While we wandered the Temple of Hathor, at the water’s edge, Duke started feeling lightheaded and nauseous. His chest flared with red splotches, and he self-diagnosed a case of heatstroke. He tottered over to the nearby Kiosk of Trajan and sat in what little shade he could find. 

The Tempe of Hathor at Philae

Take a walk around the small island to see the other buildings apart from the temple to Isis

The Kiosk of Trajan is an iconic structure at Philae

The goddess Hathor was commonly depicted with cow ears

At the Temple of Hathor, look for the dwarf god, Bes. He’s a fascinating figure — learn more about him here

Philae isn’t a good place to escape the blazing sun, as most of the complex is exposed. We had taken a quick circuit of the island and decided to end our tour since Duke wasn’t feeling well. 

A small open-air café sits at the tip of the island, and this is where we met Mamduh. We found a table in the shade and treated ourselves to ice cream. Within an instant, we were completely surrounded by cats jealously eyeing our treats. Duke and I can’t resist a friendly feline, so we dropped a few bite-sized pieces of ice cream onto the ground, which the cats would lap up happily. Mamduh laughed and shook his head in disbelief as if he had never seen such a thing before. (He probably hadn’t.)

End your adventure at the outdoor café at one end of the island

Cats lounge by the water

And they also beg for food

After our offerings to the familiars of the feline-headed goddess Bastet, we walked back to the boat. As we rounded the hill, we saw our captain, along with two other men, prostrating themselves on the wooden dock, saying their late afternoon prayers in the direction of Mecca. I felt bad when he saw us and cut short his prayer, quickly jumping up to help us aboard the boat for the short, pleasant trip back to the mainland. –Wally

A map of the Philae complex on Agilkia Island (even though it’s in French, you should still be able to decipher it

The first pylon, or entrance tower, at Philae Temple

“Isis was able to recover all of Osiris’ body parts, save one. His penis had been thrown into the Nile, where it was gobbled up by a fish.”

 

The Mystery of the Sphinx and the Valley Temple of Khafre

Whose head is that on the Sphinx? The site is crowded with limited access. Still, one of Ancient Egypt’s oldest monuments should be paired with the Pyramids of Giza near Cairo.

Riddle me this: What’s it like visiting the Great Sphinx of Giza?

While many of the ancient sites of Egypt have had their stones upcycled for other uses, the rose granite covering the walls of the Valley Temple of Khafre were somehow spared. The temple gives visitors a glimpse of the past and makes for a dramatic reveal of one of the world’s oldest colossal monoliths, the Great Sphinx of Giza. Just don’t expect to get too close or walk around it. 

A statue of Pharaoh Khafre in Cairo’s Egyptian Museum

After taking a few photos of the pyramids from the panoramic overlook, Wally and I returned to the car (driver and subpar guide) we had hired for the day. They drove us a short distance to another parking lot within the pyramid complex outside of Khafre’s temple. 

“Did Napoleon and his troops shoot off the nose of the Sphinx during target practice?

Read on to find out!”

Duke and Wally peek out from the columns in the open-air Temple of Khafre

Like the Temple of Horus at Edfu, the structure remains well preserved, thanks to having been buried under sand until it was rediscovered and excavated by French archaeologist Auguste Mariette in 1853. A diorite statue of Khafre, an Old Kingdom pharaoh circa 2570 BCE, shows the ruler seated with the falcon symbolizing the god Horus behind his head. It was discovered by Mariette’s workmen in 1860, inside a pit within the temple. You can now see the statue amongst the many finds scattered about the Egyptian Museum in Cairo.

Duke in the temple, en route to the Sphinx

Inside the now-open-air temple lies a peristyle hall containing a series of monumental limestone blocks quarried from the bedrock surrounding the Sphinx. The walls, lintels and columned court are sheathed in pink granite stone brought 500 miles downriver from Aswan. It’s nothing short of amazing to know that we were walking inside a structure erected thousands of years ago.                                                             

As Wally and I wandered through, the previously mentioned guide, Ahmed, whom we booked through the Kempinski concierge — beware! — mentioned that the temple floors were fashioned from slabs of white-veined calcite. The temple ends at a narrow ascending passage leading up to an open doorway, making for a dramatic exit anf reveal of the Great Sphinx.                                                                  

Whose head is that on the Sphinx, seen here in a 1790 illustration by Louis Francois Cassas?

The Sphinx’s Identity Crisis

In Ancient Egypt, statuary and art was reserved for the ruling class and often served a political or religious function. The elite were the only ones who could afford to commission their likeness in stone, but it remains a mystery as to whose face the Great Sphinx of Giza was meant to represent. No inscriptions were left to confirm who erected it or when. However, Ahmed referred to the Sphinx as Khafre, and archaeological evidence has since indicated that it was constructed during Khafre’s reign, so I’d be willing to agree it was him.

The Great Sphinx is one of the oldest and largest monolithic statues in the world. Because nobody knows its original name, the Greeks referred to it as a sphinx — which to them was traditionally a bare-breasted woman with a lion’s body and eagle’s wings who kills those who cannot answer her riddle. Carved from a single deposit of limestone bedrock on the Giza plateau, the recumbent, mythological creature has the body of a lion and the head of a king, and most likely was intended to symbolize Khafre's unification with the sun god Re (or Ra), who also acted as guardian of the Giza necropolis. 

Oedipus and the Sphinx by Gustave Moreau, 1864. She doesn’t look too fierce — but notice the corpse at the bottom of the painting

Limestone is a soft sedimentary rock composed primarily of the compressed remains of marine organisms that died in the waters of ancient seas. Time has not been kind to the Sphinx, and due to variations in the density of the bedrock, its surface appears to undulate. 

You can get a good shot of the Sphinx, but you’ll have to fight your way through the crowd

We were only allowed to walk within a narrow space to one side of the Sphinx and not around the monument as is often seen on so many television programs. It was crowded on that strip, and there were tourists taking selfies and other photos, which made viewing the Sphinx a letdown for us. 

For centuries, only the head of the Sphinx peeked out from the desert, with the rest buried in the sand

Dream Stele: When Dreams Come True 

The Great Sphinx was already ancient and abandoned by the time Prince Menkheperure discovered it on a hunting expedition. The colossal monument had been swallowed to its neck by the desert sands, and the prince decided it was as good a spot as any for a nap. He fell asleep beneath the shadow of its head. He later claimed that the Sphinx, in the embodiment of the sun god, Horemakhet, or Horus on the Horizon, appeared to him in a dream and made him a deal that the ambitious young royal couldn’t refuse: Although he wasn’t next in line, the Sphinx promised the prince the throne if he freed the great statue from the desert sands.

We don’t know what happened to his older brother, who was next in line, but Menkheperure did indeed become pharaoh, changing his name to Thutmose IV. To commemorate the event, he erected a small chapel between the front paws of the Great Sphinx. Inside the sacred chamber, Thutmose placed a 15-ton pink granite memorial slab inscribed with a telling of the so-called miracle. It’s also entirely possible that the stone table known as the Dream Stele was fabricated to legitimize Thutmose IV’s authority after usurping the throne. 

British soldiers pose at the base of the still-buried and noseless Sphinx

Sphinx Myth Busting: Who Nose?

The biggest myth perpetuated over time claims that Napoleon and his troops used the nose of the Sphinx for target practice and were responsible for this missing feature. European visitors to Egypt prior to Napoleon’s expedition had already discovered the vandalism to the Sphinx, and 18th century sketches of the beast indicate that the statue’s disfigurement occurred well before the French emperor was even born.

Another tale is that it was deliberately hacked off by a Sufi Muslim named Muhammad Sa’im al-Dahr, who was outraged by peasants making offerings to the colossal beast in hopes of controlling the flood cycle of the Nile, which would result in a successful harvest.                                          

Though it’s now indistinct from the hue of its desert surroundings, Ahmed told us that the Sphinx was once elaborately painted. He gestured to the residue of original blue pigment that remains near the ear, but I couldn’t see it.  

A historic illustration of the Sphinx. We wish we could climb a ladder onto its head!

After taking in the pyramids and Sphinx, Wally and I both needed to use the bathroom. Make sure to keep small bills for this purpose — the attendants will hand you a single square of toilet paper and ask for money before permitting you to go in. 

Before using the restroom, Wally and I stood on the terrace of a café and took some great photos of the Sphinx, with the Pyramids in the background. This is where I suspect the nightly Sound and Light Show is held. If you want some pics here, take them quickly — a guard came right over to scold us. I thought it might be because the grounds outside the monument were strewn with garbage, and a photo would have cast it in a less-than-flattering light. Wally thought it was a privilege reserved for those who paid for a meal on the terrace overlook. I guess this will remain an unsolvable riddle for the time being. 

The nearby restaurant offers a front-on view of the Sphinx

Admission for the valley temple and Great Sphinx are included with the 160 Egyptian pound ticket to the Giza Plateau. –Duke

Duke and Wally were bummed they couldn’t get closer to the massive monument

 

Pyramids of Giza: Essential Tips

How to avoid a bad experience while visiting the Great Pyramid of Giza, Khufu (aka Cheops) and Khafre — the only surviving of the 7 Wonders of the Ancient World.

Wally and Duke pretend to jump for joy during their visit to the Giza Necropolis — but really their guide made the experience quite unpleasant

Constructed over 4,000 years ago, the enigmatic pyramids of Giza are one of the most recognizable architectural achievements of Ancient Egypt and are the oldest remaining monuments of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. Here’s what to know when planning a day trip to see them. Hopefully you won’t have a frustrating experience like Wally and I did. 

We’re typically very good about doing our research prior to visiting a travel destination. Part of the fun is in the planning, and we’ve often networked with friends to share resources and experiences. But when it comes to drivers, we usually leave that to be discovered on the trip. It usually works out: For example, our hotel in Chiang Mai, Thailand paired us with an incredible driver and tour guide, who got the message that we were into off the beaten path places and after spending an afternoon exploring Ubud, Bali, we managed to find an excellent guide on Jalan Raya, the main thoroughfare that runs through town. 

“We think of the pyramids as having nice straight edges, but up close they look pixelated, as jagged as the cubes in the Q*bert video game. ”

There’s a good spot for pics of all three pyramids in the distance

The First Sign of Trouble

I scoured through TripAdvisor threads, Instagram and Pinterest images and found an excellent guide for Upper Egypt, Egypt Sunset Tours, but for whatever reason, we threw caution to the wind in Cairo and decided to book a tour through our hotel. What could possibly go wrong? 

(Full disclosure: Our friend Margaret had visited Cairo previously and shared her guide’s information with us, but why we forgot all about this is a mystery that only Hercule Poirot can solve. But I digress.)

Wally and I spoke with a concierge at the Nile Kempinski. We explained that we would like to visit the Giza Plateau, see the pyramids, Solar Boat Museum and Sphinx, have lunch at the Marriott Mena House, move on to Saqqara and end at Rhoda Island to see the Nilometer. We were told that the itinerary was possible and would cost 1600 EGP. A private car, driver and English-speaking guide would be provided from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. the following day. What we didn’t know is that he would go rogue and give us a second-rate experience. 

We opted not to take a camel ride, but it’s a good way to see more of the Giza area

We met our guide, Ahmed, the following morning at the concierge desk, and before we even got into the car, he asked why we wanted to visit the Nilometer, as it was within walking distance of the Kempinski. I explained to him that I had seen images of it online and was hoping we could see it on our return. He then proceeded to tell us that it was closed and we could only view the exterior of the building that contained it, which isn’t very impressive. As if to drive the point home, he added that traffic could come into play, depending on the time of day. I was confused, as I hadn’t read anything online about it being closed, but I trusted that he knew better than we. And as we had experienced at the Khan el-Khalili market the night before, traffic in Cairo was no joke. Little did we know that this was the first red flag. 

Horse-drawn carriages are another way to get around Giza

Misguided at Giza

As we drove to the pyramids, we listened intently to Ahmed as he gave us a bit of history, telling us that according to Ancient Egyptian lore, the alluvial mud from the Nile flood had formed a natural primeval mountain, and the deity Djehuty, more commonly known as Thoth, in the form of a sacred ibis bird, laid an egg at the apex, from which the sun god Ra was born. Interesting stuff, right? 

Ahmed asked if we wanted to ride camels around the pyramids or stay with the vehicle, as there’s a service road for cars and a separate dropoff for quadrupeds. He made it sound like we’d be on our own, going from pyramid to pyramid. Confused, Wally and I agreed to stay with the car as riding a camel didn’t seem ethical and we wanted to learn as much as we could about these incredible ancient man-made mountains of limestone. Plus, having a guide with us kept aggressive touts away. 

You can climb the base of the pyramids, but even if you go first thing in the morning, the site will already be quite crowded

There are actually six pyramids at Giza. the Great Pyramid of Khufu, the Pyramid of Khafre and the Pyramid of Menkaure, along with three much smaller pyramids located behind Menkaure’s that are known as the queens’ pyramids.

The pyramids were built as tombs for the pharaohs, using approximately 2 million blocks of  limestone and granite — each weighing an average from 2.5 to 15 tons. Their jagged appearance was once concealed by a layer of pale, polished white limestone that was later removed and repurposed to build mosques and madrasas of medieval Cairo.

Duke and a Wonder of the Ancient World

A Tour of the Pyramids

The first pyramid we saw was the Great Pyramid of Khufu, once more commonly referred to by its Greek name, Cheops. It stands at a towering 445 feet tall and was the tallest man-made for nearly 4,000 years until the Lincoln Cathedral claimed the title in the 1300s. The Ancient Greek historian Herodotus, who visited the site in 450 BCE was told by Egyptian guides that it was built over a 20-year period.

We think of the pyramids as having nice straight edges, but up close they look pixelated, as jagged as the cubes in the Q*bert video game. We climbed up on a few of the polished stones, but you can no longer go all the way up for picnics and sunbathing like the Victorians were able to do.

The second pyramid, built by Khufu’s second son, Khafre, had less of a crowd and that’s why we decided to venture inside this one. You have to decide when you’re at the ticket booth which, if any, of the pyramids you want to venture within and pay a bit more. 

Ahmed, of course tried to dissuade us. There are three reasons not to go in, he said: They’re claustrophobic, the air quality is poor, and there aren’t any reliefs to see. Clearly he didn’t know us, as we weren’t going to see the pyramids without going inside one. It turns out he was just rushing us through the sites so he could end his day earlier. 

The pyramids are constructed of large blocks of stone fitted together and have stood for over 4,000 years!

Duke sits at the base of the Great Pyramid. Wally says the pyramids are full-on Monets: gorgeous from afar…but a big old mess when you get up close

Wally and I presented our tickets and began the steep descent down a narrow corridor wide enough for only a single person to go down or up — and you have to walk hunched over.  Thankfully, at times the passage flattens out and opens up so you can stand upright again.

At the end of this passage you’ll find the vaulted burial chamber and black granite sarcophagus that once held the bones of a bull, an animal who symbolically represented the strength and virility of the reigning monarch. The tomb itself was stripped of its treasures and earthly remains by robbers in antiquity. Giovanni Belzoni, who uncovered the pyramid’s entrance, prominently recorded his deed on a wall of Khafre’s tomb, where it can still be seen today: “Scoperta da [Discovered by] G. Belzoni. 2. Mar. 1818.” 

Attack of the Giant Wally! The one talent our slacker guide had was capturing the goofy obligatory photos of the pyramids

Silly Pyramid Photo Opps

We then got back into the car and were shuttled to a barren, rock-strewn plateau known as a great panoramic lookout with a view of all three pyramids. This was the one moment that Ahmed shone as a guide — taking silly photos of us with the pyramids in the background.

When we visited, the entry fee to the complex cost 160 Egyptian pounds (L.E.) per person, 10 L.E. for parking and an additional 100 L.E. to go inside either the Pyramid of Khafre or Menkaure. 

A pack of stray dogs line up for photos at the base of the Pyramid of Menkaure

Ahmed failed to mention the Solar Boat Museum to see the barque of Khufu, which we didn’t realize until we were off the complex and couldn’t go back. But he made sure to mention stopping at a papyrus shop after — this was deemed worthy of his time because he undoubtedly gets baksheesh for all the poor saps he convinces to go there. –Duke

 

Alexander the Great: 8 WTF Facts About His Early Life

Young, bisexual, clever and brave: How this military genius was supposedly responsible for the destruction of one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, solved the Gordian knot, succeeded King Philip II of Macedon and almost died in his first battle against the Persian Empire.

This young man accomplished so much in his short time on Earth

Only the chosen few historical figures merit an epithet. But no one should begrudge Alexander being called the Great. In fact, “Great” doesn’t seem to do this military genius justice. 

I recently cruised through Philip Freeman’s highly entertaining history book, Alexander the Great. It helps that this ancient conqueror’s life, which was all too short, was nonetheless packed with dramatic moments. That’s not to diminish the author’s talent, though. Alexander the Great is as close to a novel as any history book could be.

“Attalus proceeded to rape Pausanias, and then invited all of his guests to do likewise.

After they were done, he was brought to the stables for the mule drivers, the lowliest of servants, to have their way with the unconscious young man as well.”

Here are eight surprising stories I learned about Alexander the Great’s early life.

What woman could resist seduction by Zeus, this sexy beast — even in the form of a lightning bolt? Certainly not Alexander’s mom!

1. His mother claimed he was the son of Zeus.

Alexander’s mother, Olympias, an intense woman who wasn’t afraid to fight for what she wanted, told him that he was wasn’t actually the son of King Philip II of Macedonia. Instead, he was the offspring of the king of the gods, Zeus, who seduced her in the form of a lightning bolt. How shocking! This revelation surely spurred on her son’s hubris as he set off with the humble goal of conquering the world. 

Alexander, who was born in 356 BCE, had been brought up believing he had divine ancestors on both sides: His mother was said to have been a relative of Achilles, the son of Thetis the nereid, a minor goddess of the sea. And his father Philip could trace his lineage back to Herakles (better known to us by his Roman name, Hercules), a demigod who was also the son of Zeus.

The Building of the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus by Hendrik van Cleve III. Do we have Alexander the Great to blame for its loss?

2. His birth became part of a legend about the destruction of one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.

Helping lend import to the birth of this astounding conqueror was a story that spread, claiming he was the cause of the complete annihilation of the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. The goddess, you see, was out of town, attending Alexander’s birth, distracted while her temple burned to the ground. 

“The Persian priests known as Magi who were resident in Ephesus reportedly ran madly about the ruins of the temple beating their faces and declaring that one who would bring calamity on Asia had been born that day,” Freeman says. “Other writers more soberly pointed out that the highly flammable temple had been burned down repeatedly in the past and on this occasion had been set ablaze by a mentally disturbed man.”

Never let the truth get in the way of some good propaganda.

Alexander the Great much preferred battles to the bedroom

3. Alexander didn’t like sex or sleeping.

I’ve always thought of Alexander the Great as a gay superhero of sorts, but he had sexual relations with both males and females. He had three sons from various women, though he did seem to prefer boys, even from an early age. In fact, his overbearing mother, Olympias, was worried about his lack of interest in the ladies and went so far as to hire the hottest prostitute around, a Thracian beauty named Callixeina, to seduce her son. It didn’t work. 

“It seems that the unrestrained passion and subsequent weariness of lovemaking deeply troubled the young man,” Freeman writes. “As Alexander would confess years later, sex and sleep more than anything else reminded him that he was mortal.”

This handsome gent is King Philip II, father of Alexander the Great. Hell hath no fury like a gay guy scorned: One of his ex-lovers assassinated him

4. The assassin of his father, Philip II, partly blamed the king for his being gang-raped.

A noble page named Pausanias was quite the looker, and Philip took him as a lover. But once Pausanias was no longer an adolescent, Philip lost interest, the perv. Another royal courtier also named Pausanias (it must’ve been the Chris of Ancient Macedonia) became the king’s boy toy, and the first P was cast aside. L’il P, perhaps in part because his rival had spread rumors about him being a hermaphrodite slut, died in a battle against the Illyrians, trying to prove his manliness.

A general named Attalus was upset at the loss of one of his favorites and plotted revenge on the first Pausanias. He invited the young man to a feast, and instead of diluting the wine like usual, he plowed him with full-strength booze. Soon P had passed out on the couch. Attalus proceeded to rape him, and then invited all of his guests to do likewise. After they were done, P was brought to the stables for the mule drivers, the lowliest of servants, to have their way with the unconscious young man as well.

When he awoke the next day (sore, I’m sure), he found himself the laughing stock of the Macedonian court. As time went by, Pausanias decided to avenge himself. General Attalus had left to command troops in Asia, but King Philip was around. On the morning of the marriage of Philip’s daughter Cleopatra, Pausanias rushed the ruler and stabbed him in the chest, killing him. 

Pausanias’ conspirators betrayed him, the assassin was caught and killed, and his corpse was hung on a cross like a slave.

Sure, she looks sweet on this coin. But Alexander’s mother, Olympias, was anything but

5. Alexander’s mother was a baby-burning monster.

In the months after the king’s death, Olympias performed some horrific acts while Alexander was away. She forced Philip’s young widow, another Cleopatra, to watch as her infant daughter was roasted alive. Olympias then presented Cleopatra with three “gifts”: a rope, a dagger and poison, letting her choose her means of suicide. 

Alexander’s mother, Olympias, oversees the crucifixion of Pausanias, who murdered the king. She also ordered the death of a child and forced her rival to commit suicide (looks like she chose the rope)

“Alexander was reportedly shocked by his mother’s behavior, but he did not punish her,” Freeman writes.

Alexander Consulting the Oracle of Apollo by Louis Jean François Lagrenée. When you fancy yourself conqueror of the world, you don’t care if the Oracle at Delphi says she’s busy

6. Oracles helped bolster Alexander’s claim to divinity and predicted his success.

I’ve always wished we still had oracles — something about these mysterious priestesses who act as vessels for the gods, answering queries in nebulous riddles, has always appealed to me.

Alexander, too, was fascinated by oracles, as were many people at the time. So when he got to the famous Oracle of Delphi and learned that the priestess was in religious seclusion, not to be disturbed, Alexander barged into her lodgings and dragged her to the shrine. When the woman shouted, “You are invincible!” it must have been music to his ears.

Later, once he reached Egypt, Alexander marched his troops on a grueling trek through the desert to the oasis of Siwa, where another oracle resided, this one to the chief deity of the Egyptian pantheon, Amun. 

The priest, who had a thick accent while speaking Greek, greeted Alexander with a slight slip of the tongue. Instead of saying, “O my child,” it came out “O child of the god.” That was all Alexander needed to hear to cement his divine parentage. 

A slip of the tongue by a priest — and you could fancy yourself a demigod, like Alexander the Great did

It might seem strange to us to think that someone could actually believe they were born of a god. But keep in mind that Alexander was in Egypt, a land where the pharaohs who ruled over it had long claimed divine parentage; it was a large part of what legitimized their claim to the throne.

Alexander ended the session with the oracle by asking if he was destined to be master of all the world. 

The oracle nodded. It must have been a welcome surprise, as oracles are known for their frustratingly cryptic responses, which could interpreted in contradictory ways. But there’s not much to doubt from a nod of assent. 

“Alexander’s mother presented her rival with three “gifts”: a rope, a dagger and poison, letting her choose her means of suicide. ”

7. Alexander almost died in his first battle against the Persians.

Imagine how different things would have been if this mighty king had fallen so early in his campaign. During a melee packed with aristocrats at the Granicus River in 334 BCE, Alexander stabbed a man named Mithridates, the son-in-law of the Great King of Persia, right in the face, killing him. Distracted by this battle, Alexander didn’t notice another Persian nobleman, Rhoesaces, who struck a blow on his head so hard it broke his helmet in two. Alexander recovered enough to skewer Rhoesaces with his lance. As this was happening, the satrap, or provincial governor, raised his sword to kill Alexander. A veteran Macedonian soldier known as Black Cleitus rushed forward and cleanly sliced off the man’s arm at the shoulder, right as it hovered in its death blow above Alexander.

I told you: There’s no shortage of drama in this tale.

Sometimes it’s best to take the easy way out — if you can exploit a loophole like Alexander did when faced with a seemingly impossible task

8. Alexander had a controversial way of solving the challenge of the Gordian knot.

It was the stuff of legends: A knot attached to the yoke of a wagon at the temple of Zeus in the land of Phrygia was so complex, all those who tried to undo it failed. And plenty tried, for it was said that whoever could do so would rule all of Asia. 

That’s just the sort of challenge Alexander couldn’t resist. The knot was made of rough bark with no visible ends. Not wanting to lose face, Alexander took one look at the complex jumble, whipped out his sword and cut the knot in two.

That always felt a bit cheaty to me when I heard this tale — though you’ve got to respect the guy for so cleverly exploiting a loophole. –Wally

Gay Travel in Egypt

How safe is it to be gay in Egypt? What should gay tourists expect? Hint: Stay off Grindr.

Wally and Duke felt comfortable enough putting their arms around each other for photos, but that should be the extent of your PDA

Let’s face it. Egypt doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to gay rights. Homosexuality isn’t technically illegal in Egypt, but it’s still a conservative Muslim country, and gays are discriminated against and routinely rounded up by the police. 

Arrests. Who’d have thought that a young man waving a rainbow flag at a concert in Cairo in 2017 would spark a major crackdown on gays? Within a single month, 76 people had been arrested, detained and possibly even tortured. (There’s a humiliating “test” some prisoners are said to undergo to see if they’ve been penetrated anally.)

“Homosexuality isn’t an official crime in Egypt, but laws combatting prostitution and “debauchery” are used to imprison gays.”

Cruising apps like Grindr are used to catch gay men, who cover their faces in shame when arrested

Because homosexuality isn’t an official crime, laws combatting prostitution and “habitual debauchery” are used to justify the imprisonment of gay men and lesbians for six months to six years. 

Cruising apps. A favorite tactic of the Egyptian police is to entrap gay men, luring them to hotels, where they are arrested, by using apps like Grindr. 

But it’s not just the police you have to worry about when using these apps, warns an anonymous source in an NBC News article: “You could be robbed or assaulted when meeting people from apps,” he says.

Buggering goes way back, as this drawing from Ancient Egypt shows

Don’t think that just because you’re a traveler you’ll be exempt. “Even foreigners are being targeted: Cases have been reported where tourists were arrested for ‘debauchery’ and deported from the country,” says Mathias Wasik, senior campaign manager at All Out, a human rights organization. “The hunt has never stopped, and the arrest and intimidations continue.” 

When people in more conservative countries ask if Wally and Duke are brothers, they now just say yes

Gay Travel Tips in Egypt

Now that you’re good and scared, it’s time to say, don’t let that stop you from visiting a country that’s insanely rich in amazing temples and tombs of the ancient world. 

As long as you don’t do anything overly gay — I’m sure you can resist kissing in public during your travels in Egypt — you should pass through unmolested. 

When a policeman has you hold hands as part of a bizarre, elaborate ritual at the back of Luxor Temple, you go along with it. And you tip him afterward

Handholding. There’s no real concept of lesbianism, and, as such, females couples can even hold hands, Frommer’s claims, since that’s what women friends do there. But I have to wonder, is it worth the risk?

You’ll hear a lot about how hetero Muslim men walk arm in arm and kiss each other hello. And while we did see evidence of this in Morocco, it was only the young men along the Corniche in Cairo we saw do this in Egypt.

Gay bars and cafés. Don’t count on any gay scene in Egypt. Even if there were a gay bar, I wouldn’t take any chances going to it. You don’t have to be gay to be arrested — just being seen as a supporter of the LGBTQ community is enough. 

“There are spots that are, to some extent, gay friendly, but even these places declined after 2011” with the Egyptian Revolution, the source told NBC. “The Islamic Brotherhood coming to power meant that there was a lot of fear from the owners of these places. They didn’t want to look like they were that friendly towards gay people, so they closed their bars and cafés and left.”

Duke and Wally at the Sphinx. Egypt is an amazing country, and gays shouldn’t be scared off from visiting. They might want to butch it up a bit, though

Our Experience as a Gay Couple in Egypt

Duke and I didn’t feel uncomfortable being gay in Egypt at all. We don’t publicize our sexuality, and we have the added bonus of looking enough alike that people often assume we’re related. When they ask if we’re brothers (or sometimes even twins!), we now just nod and say yes. It’s actually pretty amusing and is easier that way.

During our visit to Egypt, we stayed at European-run hotels in Cairo (the Kempinski) and Aswan (Sofitel’s Old Cataract), which tend to have more open-minded staffs who don’t make a fuss when two dudes want to share a bed. 

That being said, when we checked into our hotel in Cairo, the man at the front desk said, “We have a Nile view room ready. The only thing is that it only has one bed.”

“That’s OK,” I told him. 

“We can bring in a cot,” he added, trying to be helpful.

“That won’t be necessary,” I said. 

In Luxor, we stayed at a gorgeous resort on the West Bank (Al Moudira), run by a wonderful Lebanese woman who has surely seen all sorts of travelers stay there — most of our fellow guests were British or French — and was nothing but delightful to us. –Wally