The Step Pyramid of Djoser at Saqqara

Don’t just see the Pyramids of Giza. The tombs at Saqqara are the architectural stepping stones that led to those wonders. Oh, and the Step Pyramid is the oldest building in the world.

The tiered structure known as the Step Pyramid at Saqqara is the direct descendant of the smooth-surfaced Great Pyramids at Giza

Using a verbal sleight of hand to distract us after our whirlwind tour of the Giza necropolis, our guide Ahmed, who was selected for us by the Kempinski Nile Hotel in Cairo, began telling us about the history of Saqqara. He paused only briefly to encourage us to stop at a souvenir shop on the way, this one peddling papyrus or perfume, where he would surely get commission if we bought anything. Ahmed seemed to be a knowledgeable guide, but his lack of enthusiasm was glaringly obvious. 

“Considered the first recorded architect in history, Imhotep designed the Step Pyramid at Saqqara and was later portrayed as an evil high priest who had been buried alive in ‘The Mummy.’”

After spending our morning getting rushed through the Pyramids and Sphinx, I mentioned stopping for lunch at the Marriott Mena House, having been told there was a spectacular view of the Pyramids while you ate alfresco. Ahmed replied that he had recently eaten there and dismissed it as overrated and ridiculously expensive, lying about the prices of the meals. It became clear that he wasn’t going to let us go there, even though it was part of our planned itinerary.

It was about this time that I turned to Wally and muttered, “We must have passed the Solar Boat Museum when we were leaving Giza.” We were both upset by this, never imagining we’d have a guide who wouldn’t even ask if we’d want to see the various sites at an attraction. There’s a good chance this would be our only time in Egypt and we wanted to see as much as we could — especially since we were paying for our guide and car service until 4 p.m. 

But were in a stranger’s car in a foreign country and by this time too far away to go back. 

Pharaoh Djoser commissioned the Step Pyramid for his tomb in 2630 BCE

Step on It

Frequently paired with the more famous Giza Plateau, the Saqqara necropolis is where the world’s oldest large-scale stone monument, the Step Pyramid of Djoser, was built. Admission costs 150 Egyptian pounds per person (a bit over $9 at the time of this writing).

Prior to its construction, Ancient Egyptian kings were buried beneath great oblong mud-brick structures with a flat roof and sloping sides known as mastabas. According to the Abydos King List, carved on a temple wall, Djoser was the first king of the Third Dynasty, and it was his 19-year reign that allowed the grandiose plan for his pyramid complex to be completed during his lifetime. 

Built in stages, the Step Pyramid was constructed between 2630 and 2611 BCE. The tomb began as a traditional mastaba, but instead of mud-brick, it was built of stone taken from the nearby enclosed burial complex of Gisr el-Mudir. It was gradually enlarged, with smaller mastabas stacked on top of one another in concentric tiers to form the final height of 200 feet high — steps which the dead king could use to ascend into the heavens.

What’s truly amazing is that that’s just the beginning. What can’t be seen are the three miles of passageways and chambers that were carved beneath the pyramid!

Scaffolding covered parts of the Step Pyramid when we visited

When we visited the atmospheric Step Pyramid of Djoser, it was partially covered in scaffolding. Ahmed told us that it was closed due to ongoing conservation work and structural concerns after an earthquake in 1992. 

Imhotep was many things, including the architect of the Step Pyramid at Saqqara — but a reanimated evil mummy he was not

Imhotep: The Man, the Myth, the Legend 

A man named Imhotep was responsible for the design of the Step Pyramid of Saqqara. Considered the first recorded architect in history, he was later portrayed as an evil high priest who had been buried alive in The Mummy movie franchise. But he was actually just a mortal man whose name translated as “The One Who Comes in Peace.” 

A savant who rose to the top of Egyptian society, Imhotep served as a scribe, architect and vizier in the court of Pharaoh Djoser. He was also a high priest of the creator god Ptah, physician and scientist. That talent would eventually lead to his posthumous deification as the patron god of medicine by the Egyptians and later by the Greeks as Asclepius. 

Duke insisted we include a historically accurate image of Imhotep as well

King Djoser was so pleased with Imhotep’s work that he allowed the architect’s name to be inscribed on the pyramid along with his own. 

Imhotep’s tomb is probably located at Saqqara but has yet to be found. 

Fun fact: In 1964, archaeologist Walter Bryan Emery discovered a network of catacombs holding the remains of thousands of mummified ibises, long-legged, long-necked birds with downward-curving beaks, brought to the necropolis by pilgrims as offerings to the deified Imhotep. (These weren’t the only mummified animal remains found at Saqqara. Learn more about animal mummies here.)

Some of the buildings of Ancient Egypt struck us as surprisingly modern, including the entrance hall to Djoser’s funerary complex

Entrance Hall Colonnade 

Like Hatshepsut’s Mortuary Temple, the clean geometric exterior of Djoser’s entrance hall struck me as quite modern. There’s only one way into the complex, situated in the center of the largest bastion of the enclosure wall. The narrow hall is comprised of 20 pairs of columns, each connected to the side wall by masonry, as opposed to free-standing, and are carved to resemble bundles of reeds. The colonnade was probably once timber-roofed, though now austere concrete slabs hover high above these unique, but decaying, pillars. 

The columns at Djoser’s complex aren’t in the best shape

Heb Sed Court

After passing through the entrance hall colonnade, Wally and I wandered over a low wall and into a sunken open-air courtyard with a raised stone platform. I later learned that this was known as the Heb Sed Court. 

Beyond a pair of elevated shrines or chapels are replicas in stone of structures that would have been used for Heb Sed, the king’s jubilee festival marking the 30th year of a pharaoh’s reign. (As we know, Djoser never quite made it there.) One chapel appears to be a flat-roofed tentlike structure, while the other has a curved roof and false door, a symbolic passageway for the king’s ka, or spirit, to use in the afterlife. 

While we enjoyed our visit, which also included an expedition into the Pyramid of Unas and the Mastaba of Mereruka, Ahmed never went beyond his own agenda and he certainly didn’t encourage us to explore. A lot of the information contained in our posts pertaining to Giza and Saqqara has been supplemented with our own research and curiosity about the sites. –Duke

 

Philae Temple: Saved From Destruction

Catch this island temple of Isis in Aswan after visiting Abu Simbel — and be glad it’s no longer underwater.

When you visit Aswan, be sure to explore this island temple, one of the latest and best preserved in Egypt

That damn dam. 

The Egyptians knew that building the Aswan Dam would destroy a collection of impressive temples of the ancient world. But controlling the fickle waters of the River Nile for agriculture and hydroelectric power trumped architectural preservation. 

So, back in 1899, work began on the first Aswan Dam, sometimes referred to as the Aswan Low Dam. Completed in 1902, the structure plugged up the Nile and created an artificial body of water, Lake Nasser. And from December to March, Philae Temple, one of many such casualties, sat mostly engulfed, only its top peeking above the water.

“The first Aswan Dam flooded Philae Temple from December to March, with only its top peeking above the water.”

For four months of the year, Philae Temple and its nearby buildings, like the Kiosk of Trajan, sat underwater. The temple has since been relocated to a different, and drier, island

The Aswan Low Dam flooded Philae Temple, and the new dam, built in the 1970s, would have entirely submerged this historic treasure

For 70 years, that’s how the temple remained. But flooding from the Nile persisted to plague the area, and the Egyptian leader Gamal Abdel Nasser had dreams of bringing hydroelectric power to the entire country. Plans were drawn up to construct a new barrage, the Aswan High Dam. 

This dam would have completely flooded Philae. So good old UNESCO, the savior of so many historic sites, helmed a project, from 1972 to 1980, to move the temple, brick by numbered brick, to its current home, on Agilkia Island in Aswan.

One of the Ptolemaic pharaohs presents an offering to the goddess Isis, with her massive wings

Cult Center of the Goddess Isis

Lasting well into the Christian era of Ancient Rome, Philae was one of the last places where the Egyptian religion was practiced. Pilgrims came from far away to pay respects to the goddess Isis, who had inspired mystery cults across the empire. 

Poor Isis. Much like the swastika, which was a Hindu symbol for centuries but is now is a cringe-inducing reminder of Nazism, the Egyptian goddess’s name has been besmirched by the Islamic State terrorist group. 

In a characteristically bizarre Egyptian myth, Isis’ husband (and, um, brother) Osiris was murdered and chopped into 14 pieces by his brother Set, who then hid the body parts throughout Egypt. Isis, ever the dutiful wife, searched for the chunks of her beloved’s corpse — one of which, Osiris’ left leg, was hidden on an island near Philae. The goddess was able to recover all of the body parts, save one. Set had thrown Osiris’ penis into the Nile, where it was gobbled up by an Oxyrhynchus, a type of elephantfish.

Duke on the boat ride out to Philae Temple, seen in the background

Whatever Floats Your Boat

Part of the fun of visiting the Temple of Philae is the journey there. We didn’t have a lot of time in Aswan, so we got up at the crack of dawn to visit Abu Simbel (though ideally, you’d time your trip down there to miss the morning crowds and arrive around noon). On the way back to our hotel, the amazing Old Cataract, we asked our guide, Mamduh, if we could fit in Philae. It was getting a bit close to closing time, which was at 4 p.m. when we visited, but we didn’t want to miss seeing the complex.

We parked, and Mamduh walked with us past a small marketplace and down onto the docks. He spoke with a group of men and waved us over to one of the many boats berthed here, all narrow, white and red and lined with tires to act as fenders. We climbed aboard, our captain yanked the throttle, and the motor roared to life. 

These red and white boats are your transport to the island of Agilkia, where Philae has been moved to, stone by stone

The water in this part of the Nile is a deep blue that seems to contain the mysteries of the multiverse. There’s something magical about this peaceful stretch of the famous river, and it’s captivating to see the complex of Philae come into view as you approach from the water. 

We docked, climbed out of the boat and walked up the path to continue our expedition.

The first pylon presents an impressive entrance to the temple

Exploring the Island Temple of Philae

The island houses numerous structures. Most that remain were built by the Ptolemies (of which Cleopatra was the last) in the final two centuries BCE and then by the Roman emperors over the next 300 years.

We started by passing through the first pylon, the towered entrance, built in the telltale Ptolemaic style: two large tapering rectangular blocks joined by a smaller entryway, all sharp angles, with nary a curve or arch to be found. Two decaying lions presented themselves as non-threatening guardians.

This faceless lion doesn’t seem like much of a guardian, poor guy

Once inside the forecourt, we came upon a colonnade, an open courtyard lined by columns. On one side were rooms where priests once conducted scientific inquiries. On the other was a mammisi, or birth house. These structures are common on the outskirts of Egyptian temples and were built to honor the nativity of a deity — in this case, little falcon-headed Horus, the son of Isis and Osiris (somehow born after his father’s pecker got eaten by that fish). 

Duke and Wally at the temple complex

The courtyards have colonnades off to each side

Through another pylon, we entered the interior of the temple. This columned vestibule transported us to another world. We noted the Coptic crosses and Greek inscriptions, from when the temple was closed down and converted into a church around 535 CE by order of Emperor Justinian. In 116 CE, a group of Romans visited Philae and carved their names on the temple wall, leaving behind the oldest surviving Latin inscriptions in Egypt.

The interior of Philae

We then passed through antechambers and side rooms to reach the sanctuary of Isis — the holy of holies, as the Egyptians referred to it. This was a small room at the very back of the temple, with a block of stone that once held the solar boat used to transport the goddess’s statue when it was paraded about during festivals.

A look inside the sanctuary of the temple, where the sacred barque of Isis once sat upon a pedestal

Sunstroke Strikes!

Something we really appreciated about our guide, Mamduh, was that he always encouraged us to wander the sites we visited after he gave us a tour, telling us to take our time and find him at the ubiquitous nearby café. We highly recommend booking him or another guide through Egypt Sunset Tours.

With most of the other temples of Ancient Egypt in desert settings, one of the coolest things about Philae is the vistas with views of the water

In addition to the main temple, there are other, smaller, buildings to see on the island. While we wandered the Temple of Hathor, at the water’s edge, Duke started feeling lightheaded and nauseous. His chest flared with red splotches, and he self-diagnosed a case of heatstroke. He tottered over to the nearby Kiosk of Trajan and sat in what little shade he could find. 

The Tempe of Hathor at Philae

Take a walk around the small island to see the other buildings apart from the temple to Isis

The Kiosk of Trajan is an iconic structure at Philae

The goddess Hathor was commonly depicted with cow ears

At the Temple of Hathor, look for the dwarf god, Bes. He’s a fascinating figure — learn more about him here

Philae isn’t a good place to escape the blazing sun, as most of the complex is exposed. We had taken a quick circuit of the island and decided to end our tour since Duke wasn’t feeling well. 

A small open-air café sits at the tip of the island, and this is where we met Mamduh. We found a table in the shade and treated ourselves to ice cream. Within an instant, we were completely surrounded by cats jealously eyeing our treats. Duke and I can’t resist a friendly feline, so we dropped a few bite-sized pieces of ice cream onto the ground, which the cats would lap up happily. Mamduh laughed and shook his head in disbelief as if he had never seen such a thing before. (He probably hadn’t.)

End your adventure at the outdoor café at one end of the island

Cats lounge by the water

And they also beg for food

After our offerings to the familiars of the feline-headed goddess Bastet, we walked back to the boat. As we rounded the hill, we saw our captain, along with two other men, prostrating themselves on the wooden dock, saying their late afternoon prayers in the direction of Mecca. I felt bad when he saw us and cut short his prayer, quickly jumping up to help us aboard the boat for the short, pleasant trip back to the mainland. –Wally

A map of the Philae complex on Agilkia Island (even though it’s in French, you should still be able to decipher it

The first pylon, or entrance tower, at Philae Temple

“Isis was able to recover all of Osiris’ body parts, save one. His penis had been thrown into the Nile, where it was gobbled up by a fish.”

 

The Mystery of the Sphinx and the Valley Temple of Khafre

Whose head is that on the Sphinx? The site is crowded with limited access. Still, one of Ancient Egypt’s oldest monuments should be paired with the Pyramids of Giza near Cairo.

Riddle me this: What’s it like visiting the Great Sphinx of Giza?

While many of the ancient sites of Egypt have had their stones upcycled for other uses, the rose granite covering the walls of the Valley Temple of Khafre were somehow spared. The temple gives visitors a glimpse of the past and makes for a dramatic reveal of one of the world’s oldest colossal monoliths, the Great Sphinx of Giza. Just don’t expect to get too close or walk around it. 

A statue of Pharaoh Khafre in Cairo’s Egyptian Museum

After taking a few photos of the pyramids from the panoramic overlook, Wally and I returned to the car (driver and subpar guide) we had hired for the day. They drove us a short distance to another parking lot within the pyramid complex outside of Khafre’s temple. 

“Did Napoleon and his troops shoot off the nose of the Sphinx during target practice?

Read on to find out!”

Duke and Wally peek out from the columns in the open-air Temple of Khafre

Like the Temple of Horus at Edfu, the structure remains well preserved, thanks to having been buried under sand until it was rediscovered and excavated by French archaeologist Auguste Mariette in 1853. A diorite statue of Khafre, an Old Kingdom pharaoh circa 2570 BCE, shows the ruler seated with the falcon symbolizing the god Horus behind his head. It was discovered by Mariette’s workmen in 1860, inside a pit within the temple. You can now see the statue amongst the many finds scattered about the Egyptian Museum in Cairo.

Duke in the temple, en route to the Sphinx

Inside the now-open-air temple lies a peristyle hall containing a series of monumental limestone blocks quarried from the bedrock surrounding the Sphinx. The walls, lintels and columned court are sheathed in pink granite stone brought 500 miles downriver from Aswan. It’s nothing short of amazing to know that we were walking inside a structure erected thousands of years ago.                                                             

As Wally and I wandered through, the previously mentioned guide, Ahmed, whom we booked through the Kempinski concierge — beware! — mentioned that the temple floors were fashioned from slabs of white-veined calcite. The temple ends at a narrow ascending passage leading up to an open doorway, making for a dramatic exit anf reveal of the Great Sphinx.                                                                  

Whose head is that on the Sphinx, seen here in a 1790 illustration by Louis Francois Cassas?

The Sphinx’s Identity Crisis

In Ancient Egypt, statuary and art was reserved for the ruling class and often served a political or religious function. The elite were the only ones who could afford to commission their likeness in stone, but it remains a mystery as to whose face the Great Sphinx of Giza was meant to represent. No inscriptions were left to confirm who erected it or when. However, Ahmed referred to the Sphinx as Khafre, and archaeological evidence has since indicated that it was constructed during Khafre’s reign, so I’d be willing to agree it was him.

The Great Sphinx is one of the oldest and largest monolithic statues in the world. Because nobody knows its original name, the Greeks referred to it as a sphinx — which to them was traditionally a bare-breasted woman with a lion’s body and eagle’s wings who kills those who cannot answer her riddle. Carved from a single deposit of limestone bedrock on the Giza plateau, the recumbent, mythological creature has the body of a lion and the head of a king, and most likely was intended to symbolize Khafre's unification with the sun god Re (or Ra), who also acted as guardian of the Giza necropolis. 

Oedipus and the Sphinx by Gustave Moreau, 1864. She doesn’t look too fierce — but notice the corpse at the bottom of the painting

Limestone is a soft sedimentary rock composed primarily of the compressed remains of marine organisms that died in the waters of ancient seas. Time has not been kind to the Sphinx, and due to variations in the density of the bedrock, its surface appears to undulate. 

You can get a good shot of the Sphinx, but you’ll have to fight your way through the crowd

We were only allowed to walk within a narrow space to one side of the Sphinx and not around the monument as is often seen on so many television programs. It was crowded on that strip, and there were tourists taking selfies and other photos, which made viewing the Sphinx a letdown for us. 

For centuries, only the head of the Sphinx peeked out from the desert, with the rest buried in the sand

Dream Stele: When Dreams Come True 

The Great Sphinx was already ancient and abandoned by the time Prince Menkheperure discovered it on a hunting expedition. The colossal monument had been swallowed to its neck by the desert sands, and the prince decided it was as good a spot as any for a nap. He fell asleep beneath the shadow of its head. He later claimed that the Sphinx, in the embodiment of the sun god, Horemakhet, or Horus on the Horizon, appeared to him in a dream and made him a deal that the ambitious young royal couldn’t refuse: Although he wasn’t next in line, the Sphinx promised the prince the throne if he freed the great statue from the desert sands.

We don’t know what happened to his older brother, who was next in line, but Menkheperure did indeed become pharaoh, changing his name to Thutmose IV. To commemorate the event, he erected a small chapel between the front paws of the Great Sphinx. Inside the sacred chamber, Thutmose placed a 15-ton pink granite memorial slab inscribed with a telling of the so-called miracle. It’s also entirely possible that the stone table known as the Dream Stele was fabricated to legitimize Thutmose IV’s authority after usurping the throne. 

British soldiers pose at the base of the still-buried and noseless Sphinx

Sphinx Myth Busting: Who Nose?

The biggest myth perpetuated over time claims that Napoleon and his troops used the nose of the Sphinx for target practice and were responsible for this missing feature. European visitors to Egypt prior to Napoleon’s expedition had already discovered the vandalism to the Sphinx, and 18th century sketches of the beast indicate that the statue’s disfigurement occurred well before the French emperor was even born.

Another tale is that it was deliberately hacked off by a Sufi Muslim named Muhammad Sa’im al-Dahr, who was outraged by peasants making offerings to the colossal beast in hopes of controlling the flood cycle of the Nile, which would result in a successful harvest.                                          

Though it’s now indistinct from the hue of its desert surroundings, Ahmed told us that the Sphinx was once elaborately painted. He gestured to the residue of original blue pigment that remains near the ear, but I couldn’t see it.  

A historic illustration of the Sphinx. We wish we could climb a ladder onto its head!

After taking in the pyramids and Sphinx, Wally and I both needed to use the bathroom. Make sure to keep small bills for this purpose — the attendants will hand you a single square of toilet paper and ask for money before permitting you to go in. 

Before using the restroom, Wally and I stood on the terrace of a café and took some great photos of the Sphinx, with the Pyramids in the background. This is where I suspect the nightly Sound and Light Show is held. If you want some pics here, take them quickly — a guard came right over to scold us. I thought it might be because the grounds outside the monument were strewn with garbage, and a photo would have cast it in a less-than-flattering light. Wally thought it was a privilege reserved for those who paid for a meal on the terrace overlook. I guess this will remain an unsolvable riddle for the time being. 

The nearby restaurant offers a front-on view of the Sphinx

Admission for the valley temple and Great Sphinx are included with the 160 Egyptian pound ticket to the Giza Plateau. –Duke

Duke and Wally were bummed they couldn’t get closer to the massive monument

 

Pyramids of Giza: Essential Tips

How to avoid a bad experience while visiting the Great Pyramid of Giza, Khufu (aka Cheops) and Khafre — the only surviving of the 7 Wonders of the Ancient World.

Wally and Duke pretend to jump for joy during their visit to the Giza Necropolis — but really their guide made the experience quite unpleasant

Constructed over 4,000 years ago, the enigmatic pyramids of Giza are one of the most recognizable architectural achievements of Ancient Egypt and are the oldest remaining monuments of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. Here’s what to know when planning a day trip to see them. Hopefully you won’t have a frustrating experience like Wally and I did. 

We’re typically very good about doing our research prior to visiting a travel destination. Part of the fun is in the planning, and we’ve often networked with friends to share resources and experiences. But when it comes to drivers, we usually leave that to be discovered on the trip. It usually works out: For example, our hotel in Chiang Mai, Thailand paired us with an incredible driver and tour guide, who got the message that we were into off the beaten path places and after spending an afternoon exploring Ubud, Bali, we managed to find an excellent guide on Jalan Raya, the main thoroughfare that runs through town. 

“We think of the pyramids as having nice straight edges, but up close they look pixelated, as jagged as the cubes in the Q*bert video game. ”

There’s a good spot for pics of all three pyramids in the distance

The First Sign of Trouble

I scoured through TripAdvisor threads, Instagram and Pinterest images and found an excellent guide for Upper Egypt, Egypt Sunset Tours, but for whatever reason, we threw caution to the wind in Cairo and decided to book a tour through our hotel. What could possibly go wrong? 

(Full disclosure: Our friend Margaret had visited Cairo previously and shared her guide’s information with us, but why we forgot all about this is a mystery that only Hercule Poirot can solve. But I digress.)

Wally and I spoke with a concierge at the Nile Kempinski. We explained that we would like to visit the Giza Plateau, see the pyramids, Solar Boat Museum and Sphinx, have lunch at the Marriott Mena House, move on to Saqqara and end at Rhoda Island to see the Nilometer. We were told that the itinerary was possible and would cost 1600 EGP. A private car, driver and English-speaking guide would be provided from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. the following day. What we didn’t know is that he would go rogue and give us a second-rate experience. 

We opted not to take a camel ride, but it’s a good way to see more of the Giza area

We met our guide, Ahmed, the following morning at the concierge desk, and before we even got into the car, he asked why we wanted to visit the Nilometer, as it was within walking distance of the Kempinski. I explained to him that I had seen images of it online and was hoping we could see it on our return. He then proceeded to tell us that it was closed and we could only view the exterior of the building that contained it, which isn’t very impressive. As if to drive the point home, he added that traffic could come into play, depending on the time of day. I was confused, as I hadn’t read anything online about it being closed, but I trusted that he knew better than we. And as we had experienced at the Khan el-Khalili market the night before, traffic in Cairo was no joke. Little did we know that this was the first red flag. 

Horse-drawn carriages are another way to get around Giza

Misguided at Giza

As we drove to the pyramids, we listened intently to Ahmed as he gave us a bit of history, telling us that according to Ancient Egyptian lore, the alluvial mud from the Nile flood had formed a natural primeval mountain, and the deity Djehuty, more commonly known as Thoth, in the form of a sacred ibis bird, laid an egg at the apex, from which the sun god Ra was born. Interesting stuff, right? 

Ahmed asked if we wanted to ride camels around the pyramids or stay with the vehicle, as there’s a service road for cars and a separate dropoff for quadrupeds. He made it sound like we’d be on our own, going from pyramid to pyramid. Confused, Wally and I agreed to stay with the car as riding a camel didn’t seem ethical and we wanted to learn as much as we could about these incredible ancient man-made mountains of limestone. Plus, having a guide with us kept aggressive touts away. 

You can climb the base of the pyramids, but even if you go first thing in the morning, the site will already be quite crowded

There are actually six pyramids at Giza. the Great Pyramid of Khufu, the Pyramid of Khafre and the Pyramid of Menkaure, along with three much smaller pyramids located behind Menkaure’s that are known as the queens’ pyramids.

The pyramids were built as tombs for the pharaohs, using approximately 2 million blocks of  limestone and granite — each weighing an average from 2.5 to 15 tons. Their jagged appearance was once concealed by a layer of pale, polished white limestone that was later removed and repurposed to build mosques and madrasas of medieval Cairo.

Duke and a Wonder of the Ancient World

A Tour of the Pyramids

The first pyramid we saw was the Great Pyramid of Khufu, once more commonly referred to by its Greek name, Cheops. It stands at a towering 445 feet tall and was the tallest man-made for nearly 4,000 years until the Lincoln Cathedral claimed the title in the 1300s. The Ancient Greek historian Herodotus, who visited the site in 450 BCE was told by Egyptian guides that it was built over a 20-year period.

We think of the pyramids as having nice straight edges, but up close they look pixelated, as jagged as the cubes in the Q*bert video game. We climbed up on a few of the polished stones, but you can no longer go all the way up for picnics and sunbathing like the Victorians were able to do.

The second pyramid, built by Khufu’s second son, Khafre, had less of a crowd and that’s why we decided to venture inside this one. You have to decide when you’re at the ticket booth which, if any, of the pyramids you want to venture within and pay a bit more. 

Ahmed, of course tried to dissuade us. There are three reasons not to go in, he said: They’re claustrophobic, the air quality is poor, and there aren’t any reliefs to see. Clearly he didn’t know us, as we weren’t going to see the pyramids without going inside one. It turns out he was just rushing us through the sites so he could end his day earlier. 

The pyramids are constructed of large blocks of stone fitted together and have stood for over 4,000 years!

Duke sits at the base of the Great Pyramid. Wally says the pyramids are full-on Monets: gorgeous from afar…but a big old mess when you get up close

Wally and I presented our tickets and began the steep descent down a narrow corridor wide enough for only a single person to go down or up — and you have to walk hunched over.  Thankfully, at times the passage flattens out and opens up so you can stand upright again.

At the end of this passage you’ll find the vaulted burial chamber and black granite sarcophagus that once held the bones of a bull, an animal who symbolically represented the strength and virility of the reigning monarch. The tomb itself was stripped of its treasures and earthly remains by robbers in antiquity. Giovanni Belzoni, who uncovered the pyramid’s entrance, prominently recorded his deed on a wall of Khafre’s tomb, where it can still be seen today: “Scoperta da [Discovered by] G. Belzoni. 2. Mar. 1818.” 

Attack of the Giant Wally! The one talent our slacker guide had was capturing the goofy obligatory photos of the pyramids

Silly Pyramid Photo Opps

We then got back into the car and were shuttled to a barren, rock-strewn plateau known as a great panoramic lookout with a view of all three pyramids. This was the one moment that Ahmed shone as a guide — taking silly photos of us with the pyramids in the background.

When we visited, the entry fee to the complex cost 160 Egyptian pounds (L.E.) per person, 10 L.E. for parking and an additional 100 L.E. to go inside either the Pyramid of Khafre or Menkaure. 

A pack of stray dogs line up for photos at the base of the Pyramid of Menkaure

Ahmed failed to mention the Solar Boat Museum to see the barque of Khufu, which we didn’t realize until we were off the complex and couldn’t go back. But he made sure to mention stopping at a papyrus shop after — this was deemed worthy of his time because he undoubtedly gets baksheesh for all the poor saps he convinces to go there. –Duke

 

Alexander the Great: 8 WTF Facts About His Early Life

Young, bisexual, clever and brave: How this military genius was supposedly responsible for the destruction of one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, solved the Gordian knot, succeeded King Philip II of Macedon and almost died in his first battle against the Persian Empire.

This young man accomplished so much in his short time on Earth

Only the chosen few historical figures merit an epithet. But no one should begrudge Alexander being called the Great. In fact, “Great” doesn’t seem to do this military genius justice. 

I recently cruised through Philip Freeman’s highly entertaining history book, Alexander the Great. It helps that this ancient conqueror’s life, which was all too short, was nonetheless packed with dramatic moments. That’s not to diminish the author’s talent, though. Alexander the Great is as close to a novel as any history book could be.

“Attalus proceeded to rape Pausanias, and then invited all of his guests to do likewise.

After they were done, he was brought to the stables for the mule drivers, the lowliest of servants, to have their way with the unconscious young man as well.”

Here are eight surprising stories I learned about Alexander the Great’s early life.

What woman could resist seduction by Zeus, this sexy beast — even in the form of a lightning bolt? Certainly not Alexander’s mom!

1. His mother claimed he was the son of Zeus.

Alexander’s mother, Olympias, an intense woman who wasn’t afraid to fight for what she wanted, told him that he was wasn’t actually the son of King Philip II of Macedonia. Instead, he was the offspring of the king of the gods, Zeus, who seduced her in the form of a lightning bolt. How shocking! This revelation surely spurred on her son’s hubris as he set off with the humble goal of conquering the world. 

Alexander, who was born in 356 BCE, had been brought up believing he had divine ancestors on both sides: His mother was said to have been a relative of Achilles, the son of Thetis the nereid, a minor goddess of the sea. And his father Philip could trace his lineage back to Herakles (better known to us by his Roman name, Hercules), a demigod who was also the son of Zeus.

The Building of the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus by Hendrik van Cleve III. Do we have Alexander the Great to blame for its loss?

2. His birth became part of a legend about the destruction of one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.

Helping lend import to the birth of this astounding conqueror was a story that spread, claiming he was the cause of the complete annihilation of the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. The goddess, you see, was out of town, attending Alexander’s birth, distracted while her temple burned to the ground. 

“The Persian priests known as Magi who were resident in Ephesus reportedly ran madly about the ruins of the temple beating their faces and declaring that one who would bring calamity on Asia had been born that day,” Freeman says. “Other writers more soberly pointed out that the highly flammable temple had been burned down repeatedly in the past and on this occasion had been set ablaze by a mentally disturbed man.”

Never let the truth get in the way of some good propaganda.

Alexander the Great much preferred battles to the bedroom

3. Alexander didn’t like sex or sleeping.

I’ve always thought of Alexander the Great as a gay superhero of sorts, but he had sexual relations with both males and females. He had three sons from various women, though he did seem to prefer boys, even from an early age. In fact, his overbearing mother, Olympias, was worried about his lack of interest in the ladies and went so far as to hire the hottest prostitute around, a Thracian beauty named Callixeina, to seduce her son. It didn’t work. 

“It seems that the unrestrained passion and subsequent weariness of lovemaking deeply troubled the young man,” Freeman writes. “As Alexander would confess years later, sex and sleep more than anything else reminded him that he was mortal.”

This handsome gent is King Philip II, father of Alexander the Great. Hell hath no fury like a gay guy scorned: One of his ex-lovers assassinated him

4. The assassin of his father, Philip II, partly blamed the king for his being gang-raped.

A noble page named Pausanias was quite the looker, and Philip took him as a lover. But once Pausanias was no longer an adolescent, Philip lost interest, the perv. Another royal courtier also named Pausanias (it must’ve been the Chris of Ancient Macedonia) became the king’s boy toy, and the first P was cast aside. L’il P, perhaps in part because his rival had spread rumors about him being a hermaphrodite slut, died in a battle against the Illyrians, trying to prove his manliness.

A general named Attalus was upset at the loss of one of his favorites and plotted revenge on the first Pausanias. He invited the young man to a feast, and instead of diluting the wine like usual, he plowed him with full-strength booze. Soon P had passed out on the couch. Attalus proceeded to rape him, and then invited all of his guests to do likewise. After they were done, P was brought to the stables for the mule drivers, the lowliest of servants, to have their way with the unconscious young man as well.

When he awoke the next day (sore, I’m sure), he found himself the laughing stock of the Macedonian court. As time went by, Pausanias decided to avenge himself. General Attalus had left to command troops in Asia, but King Philip was around. On the morning of the marriage of Philip’s daughter Cleopatra, Pausanias rushed the ruler and stabbed him in the chest, killing him. 

Pausanias’ conspirators betrayed him, the assassin was caught and killed, and his corpse was hung on a cross like a slave.

Sure, she looks sweet on this coin. But Alexander’s mother, Olympias, was anything but

5. Alexander’s mother was a baby-burning monster.

In the months after the king’s death, Olympias performed some horrific acts while Alexander was away. She forced Philip’s young widow, another Cleopatra, to watch as her infant daughter was roasted alive. Olympias then presented Cleopatra with three “gifts”: a rope, a dagger and poison, letting her choose her means of suicide. 

Alexander’s mother, Olympias, oversees the crucifixion of Pausanias, who murdered the king. She also ordered the death of a child and forced her rival to commit suicide (looks like she chose the rope)

“Alexander was reportedly shocked by his mother’s behavior, but he did not punish her,” Freeman writes.

Alexander Consulting the Oracle of Apollo by Louis Jean François Lagrenée. When you fancy yourself conqueror of the world, you don’t care if the Oracle at Delphi says she’s busy

6. Oracles helped bolster Alexander’s claim to divinity and predicted his success.

I’ve always wished we still had oracles — something about these mysterious priestesses who act as vessels for the gods, answering queries in nebulous riddles, has always appealed to me.

Alexander, too, was fascinated by oracles, as were many people at the time. So when he got to the famous Oracle of Delphi and learned that the priestess was in religious seclusion, not to be disturbed, Alexander barged into her lodgings and dragged her to the shrine. When the woman shouted, “You are invincible!” it must have been music to his ears.

Later, once he reached Egypt, Alexander marched his troops on a grueling trek through the desert to the oasis of Siwa, where another oracle resided, this one to the chief deity of the Egyptian pantheon, Amun. 

The priest, who had a thick accent while speaking Greek, greeted Alexander with a slight slip of the tongue. Instead of saying, “O my child,” it came out “O child of the god.” That was all Alexander needed to hear to cement his divine parentage. 

A slip of the tongue by a priest — and you could fancy yourself a demigod, like Alexander the Great did

It might seem strange to us to think that someone could actually believe they were born of a god. But keep in mind that Alexander was in Egypt, a land where the pharaohs who ruled over it had long claimed divine parentage; it was a large part of what legitimized their claim to the throne.

Alexander ended the session with the oracle by asking if he was destined to be master of all the world. 

The oracle nodded. It must have been a welcome surprise, as oracles are known for their frustratingly cryptic responses, which could interpreted in contradictory ways. But there’s not much to doubt from a nod of assent. 

“Alexander’s mother presented her rival with three “gifts”: a rope, a dagger and poison, letting her choose her means of suicide. ”

7. Alexander almost died in his first battle against the Persians.

Imagine how different things would have been if this mighty king had fallen so early in his campaign. During a melee packed with aristocrats at the Granicus River in 334 BCE, Alexander stabbed a man named Mithridates, the son-in-law of the Great King of Persia, right in the face, killing him. Distracted by this battle, Alexander didn’t notice another Persian nobleman, Rhoesaces, who struck a blow on his head so hard it broke his helmet in two. Alexander recovered enough to skewer Rhoesaces with his lance. As this was happening, the satrap, or provincial governor, raised his sword to kill Alexander. A veteran Macedonian soldier known as Black Cleitus rushed forward and cleanly sliced off the man’s arm at the shoulder, right as it hovered in its death blow above Alexander.

I told you: There’s no shortage of drama in this tale.

Sometimes it’s best to take the easy way out — if you can exploit a loophole like Alexander did when faced with a seemingly impossible task

8. Alexander had a controversial way of solving the challenge of the Gordian knot.

It was the stuff of legends: A knot attached to the yoke of a wagon at the temple of Zeus in the land of Phrygia was so complex, all those who tried to undo it failed. And plenty tried, for it was said that whoever could do so would rule all of Asia. 

That’s just the sort of challenge Alexander couldn’t resist. The knot was made of rough bark with no visible ends. Not wanting to lose face, Alexander took one look at the complex jumble, whipped out his sword and cut the knot in two.

That always felt a bit cheaty to me when I heard this tale — though you’ve got to respect the guy for so cleverly exploiting a loophole. –Wally

Gay Travel in Egypt

How safe is it to be gay in Egypt? What should gay tourists expect? Hint: Stay off Grindr.

Wally and Duke felt comfortable enough putting their arms around each other for photos, but that should be the extent of your PDA

Let’s face it. Egypt doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to gay rights. Homosexuality isn’t technically illegal in Egypt, but it’s still a conservative Muslim country, and gays are discriminated against and routinely rounded up by the police. 

Arrests. Who’d have thought that a young man waving a rainbow flag at a concert in Cairo in 2017 would spark a major crackdown on gays? Within a single month, 76 people had been arrested, detained and possibly even tortured. (There’s a humiliating “test” some prisoners are said to undergo to see if they’ve been penetrated anally.)

“Homosexuality isn’t an official crime in Egypt, but laws combatting prostitution and “debauchery” are used to imprison gays.”

Cruising apps like Grindr are used to catch gay men, who cover their faces in shame when arrested

Because homosexuality isn’t an official crime, laws combatting prostitution and “habitual debauchery” are used to justify the imprisonment of gay men and lesbians for six months to six years. 

Cruising apps. A favorite tactic of the Egyptian police is to entrap gay men, luring them to hotels, where they are arrested, by using apps like Grindr. 

But it’s not just the police you have to worry about when using these apps, warns an anonymous source in an NBC News article: “You could be robbed or assaulted when meeting people from apps,” he says.

Buggering goes way back, as this drawing from Ancient Egypt shows

Don’t think that just because you’re a traveler you’ll be exempt. “Even foreigners are being targeted: Cases have been reported where tourists were arrested for ‘debauchery’ and deported from the country,” says Mathias Wasik, senior campaign manager at All Out, a human rights organization. “The hunt has never stopped, and the arrest and intimidations continue.” 

When people in more conservative countries ask if Wally and Duke are brothers, they now just say yes

Gay Travel Tips in Egypt

Now that you’re good and scared, it’s time to say, don’t let that stop you from visiting a country that’s insanely rich in amazing temples and tombs of the ancient world. 

As long as you don’t do anything overly gay — I’m sure you can resist kissing in public during your travels in Egypt — you should pass through unmolested. 

When a policeman has you hold hands as part of a bizarre, elaborate ritual at the back of Luxor Temple, you go along with it. And you tip him afterward

Handholding. There’s no real concept of lesbianism, and, as such, females couples can even hold hands, Frommer’s claims, since that’s what women friends do there. But I have to wonder, is it worth the risk?

You’ll hear a lot about how hetero Muslim men walk arm in arm and kiss each other hello. And while we did see evidence of this in Morocco, it was only the young men along the Corniche in Cairo we saw do this in Egypt.

Gay bars and cafés. Don’t count on any gay scene in Egypt. Even if there were a gay bar, I wouldn’t take any chances going to it. You don’t have to be gay to be arrested — just being seen as a supporter of the LGBTQ community is enough. 

“There are spots that are, to some extent, gay friendly, but even these places declined after 2011” with the Egyptian Revolution, the source told NBC. “The Islamic Brotherhood coming to power meant that there was a lot of fear from the owners of these places. They didn’t want to look like they were that friendly towards gay people, so they closed their bars and cafés and left.”

Duke and Wally at the Sphinx. Egypt is an amazing country, and gays shouldn’t be scared off from visiting. They might want to butch it up a bit, though

Our Experience as a Gay Couple in Egypt

Duke and I didn’t feel uncomfortable being gay in Egypt at all. We don’t publicize our sexuality, and we have the added bonus of looking enough alike that people often assume we’re related. When they ask if we’re brothers (or sometimes even twins!), we now just nod and say yes. It’s actually pretty amusing and is easier that way.

During our visit to Egypt, we stayed at European-run hotels in Cairo (the Kempinski) and Aswan (Sofitel’s Old Cataract), which tend to have more open-minded staffs who don’t make a fuss when two dudes want to share a bed. 

That being said, when we checked into our hotel in Cairo, the man at the front desk said, “We have a Nile view room ready. The only thing is that it only has one bed.”

“That’s OK,” I told him. 

“We can bring in a cot,” he added, trying to be helpful.

“That won’t be necessary,” I said. 

In Luxor, we stayed at a gorgeous resort on the West Bank (Al Moudira), run by a wonderful Lebanese woman who has surely seen all sorts of travelers stay there — most of our fellow guests were British or French — and was nothing but delightful to us. –Wally

How Did King Tut Die?

Was Tutankhamun murdered? Did he die from a chariot accident? Why is his tomb so unimpressive? We help solve one of the great mysteries of Ancient Egypt.

How did the most famous pharaoh of Ancient Egypt die? Recent evidence disproves some of the most popular theories

Tut’s mummy

Think of it as an Ancient Egyptian cold case. For decades there have been many competing theories about how Tutankhamun, the Boy King, died and why his tomb is smaller than that of other pharaohs. His cause of death has remained one of Ancient Egypt’s most enduring mysteries. 

The mummy of Tutankhamun lies within his tomb in the Valley of the Kings, where it was discovered by Howard Carter. As far as we know, it’s the only mummy in the Valley of the Kings — most royal remains have been relocated to the Egyptian Museum in Cairo. 

“Was Tut a victim of foul play, hit in the head with a blunt instrument, murdered by his uncle and successor, Ay? ”

The resin used to preserve King Tut’s mummy actually ended up damaging it when Carter and his team removed the funerary mask

---

LEARN MORE: Ancient Egypt’s Mummification Process Explained

---

Carter, who discovered Tut’s tomb, unveils the mummy in 1925

---

Was the tomb cursed?
What’s it like to visit today?

EXPLORE King Tut’s Tomb

---

A Look at the Evidence

Tutankhamun’s mummy shows that he died when he was around 18 or 19 years old, but his death remains a mystery. Was he a victim of foul play, hit in the head with a blunt instrument, perhaps murdered by his uncle and successor, Ay? 

A carving of Ay from Amarna

This theory stemmed from X-rays taken in 1968 showing bone fragments in his skull. It’s now disproven — this damage actually occurred when Tut’s gold death mask was pried unceremoniously from his mummy by Carter and his team.

Was Tut in a chariot accident, trampled beneath the hooves of his horses? Or perhaps he perished from an infection caused by a fractured femur that became gangrenous? 

A replica of a chariot from Tut’s tomb — even though his bum foot should have prevented the young pharaoh from riding in one

One of these theories may be true. But in Ancient Egypt, where the average lifespan was about 30 years old, it wasn’t uncommon for people to die at a young age, even royals, who had a better chance at longevity than the general populace. 

A reconstruction of what Tutankhamun probably looked like

Who says incest is best? Generations of inbreeding led to various maladies that Tut suffered from, including a bone necrosis in his foot

Tutankhamun suffered from a variety of maladies, including malaria and a crippling bone necrosis known as Kohler’s disease, that weakened his left foot. This makes it doubtful that he died from a chariot accident, as it would have been difficult for the young man to safely operate one. As a side note, 130 canes, many of them showing signs of use, were buried with King Tut.

The Egyptians believed that incest kept the bloodline pure, but it actually had the opposite effect, leading to his generally weakened state from genetic afflictions — problems likely exacerbated by malaria. 

You’ll have to pay extra to visit Tut’s tomb in the Valley of the Kings

A Tomb Not Really Fit for a King

This brings us to the question of why Tut’s tomb is so meagre in size compared to that of his fellow pharaohs. Was he placed in there because he died suddenly, at a young age?

In general, the subterranean walls and passages of New Kingdom royal tombs in the Valley of the Kings were laid out in a succession of descending corridors and chambers adorned with texts and reliefs pertaining to the underworld. Over the centuries, thieves managed to raid all of tombs in this valley except one: KV62, that of Tut.

Although more modest in scale and lacking in decoration, Tutankhamun’s four-chambered tomb more than made up for that in content (though one has to wonder if the larger tombs, since plundered, held even more goods — we’ll never know.) 

The narrow entrance corridor and minimal area of the tomb’s plan indicate that it had never been intended for the burial of a king. It’s been speculated that it was originally intended for Tutankhamun's vizier, Ay, or possibly the mysterious female pharaoh Neferneferuaten. Whatever the case may be, it was hurriedly adapted when he unexpectedly died in his late teens. 

One of the few paintings in King Tut’s tomb shows his righthand man and successor Ay performing priestly duties to help the pharaoh journey through the afterlife

In Tut’s tomb, only one of the four small rooms, the burial chamber, is plastered and decorated with brightly painted scenes. The scene on the north wall depicts Tutankhamun in the form of Osiris, with his vizier and successor Ay, dressed as a high priest performing the opening of the mouth ceremony, meant to revive the dead pharaoh in the afterlife. A network of long-dead black mold spores like leopard spots perforate its surface, providing even more evidence of a rush job: The burial chamber was sealed before the paint even had time to dry. 

Carter examines King Tut’s innermost sarcophagus

The Verdict

As far as Tut’s death goes, the jury’s still out — but it’s not as dramatic as some would like to imagine. He probably wasn’t assassinated, and he most likely couldn’t ride safely in a chariot. Tut comes from a long line of incestuous liaisons that severely weakened his immune system and left him with a diseased leg. Chances are this became infected and led to his untimely death. Tut, tut. –Duke

Tutmania!

Fascination with King Tut swept the nation, from a Batman villain to Steve Martin’s hit Saturday Night Live song.

A pop art take on King' Tut’s legendary funerary mask

Tutmania, which swept the West upon discovery of the Boy King’s tomb in 1922, experienced a resurgence when King Tut’s riches toured the United States in ’76. Due to fear of hijacking, the precious artifacts traveled in secrecy aboard the U.S.S. Sylvania, where they were stored amidst boxes of refrigerated hamburger patties.

An illustrated French newspaper depicts the discovery of Tutankhamun’s treasure-laden tomb, which sat undisturbed by 3,500 years

Even a brand of lemons was named after the Boy King

Candy, Cross Stitch and Kitsch

The commoditization of the U.S.’s fascination with this pharaoh has included everything from Tut-branded California lemons (circa the 1940s) to unlicensed kitsch — including T-shirts with a pair of strategically placed golden burial masks proclaiming, “Keep Your Hands Off My Tuts!” (from the 70s). 

Tutmania invaded many aspects of American life, showing up on kitschy T-shirts like this one

There was even a softbound book of needlepoint patterns, which the creator, Robert Horace Ross, based upon the touring Treasures of Tutankhamun exhibition. 

Who wouldn’t want a needlepoint of King Tut’s golden mask?

Novelty candies for kids included Yummy Mummies — artificially flavored hard candy sticks, similar in size to a tongue depressor and manufactured by the makers of Fun Dip. In the U.K., Terry’s Pyramint, the forgotten ’80s sibling of the Chocolate Orange, was packaged in a pyramid-shaped box. Inside was a dark chocolate pyramid with a hollow center filled with mint fondant similar in consistency to a Cadbury Creme Egg. 

The tubby Batman villain King Tut was obviously delusional

Holy Cheesy Appropriation, Batman!

King Tut even made an appearance on the lighthearted 1960s TV series, Batman. Portrayed by the portly actor Victor Buono, the over-the-top villainous character of King Tut was invented for the small screen, making its first appearance in ’66 on a two-episode story arc, “The Curse of Tut/The Pharaoh’s in a Rut.”

A King Tut Batman Lego figurine

More high camp than the gritty realism of writer-director Christopher Nolan’s feature film take on the Dark Knight, Tut’s alter ego was a well-mannered professor of Egyptology named William Omaha McElroy. Knocked unconscious during a student riot at Yale, McElroy awakens, believing himself to be a diabolical King Tut. His appearance was announced by a ram-headed statue, mistakenly referred to as a sphinx. The villainous Tut takes up residence in an Egyptian exhibit in the Gotham City Museum, complete with a harem of comely women.

Fisticuffs ensue, various comic book KAPOWs, BOOMs and BOFFs appear on screen, and the episode ends with a literal cliffhanger: a kidnapped Bruce Wayne exiting the rear door of an ambulance (strapped to a gurney no less) before the vehicle drives off a 300-foot cliff. 

The character obviously has some lasting appeal: It made an appearance in The Lego Batman Movie.

Steve Martin performed a silly song about King Tut on Saturday Night Live — which went on to become a Top 20 hit!

A Wild and Crazy Songwriter

In 1978, comedian Steve Martin wrote and debuted an elaborate sketch on Saturday Night Live accompanied by his song “King Tut” satirizing the fascination with the Treasures of Tutankhamun exhibition.

The show’s creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels pulled out all the stops, and it was one of the most expensive sketches performed on SNL. Martin, dressed in psuedo-Egyptian costume, sang and danced, turning his head and arms in opposite directions in imitation of Ancient Egyptian paintings.

Even though I was only 9 years old at the time, I can still remember the verse, “Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, King Tut.” A classic moment from the skit featured musician Lou Marini emerging from a sarcophagus in gold face paint to perform a raucous saxophone solo with Martin placing a blender at his feet as an offering. Not long after, the single, cleverly credited to Steve Martin and the Toot Uncommons, reached #17 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, and went on to sell more than a million copies.

The renovated Tut statue at the Oriental Institute in Chicago

King Tut Goes Highbrow

A towering 17-foot-tall statue of King Tutankhamun can be seen in the Egyptian Hall of the University of Chicago’s Oriental Institute Museum. One of a pair, the likeness was discovered during the institute’s excavation efforts at Medinet Habu from 1926 to 1931. The better-preserved statue remained in Egypt, while the other was gifted to the institute. 

Taking casts from the more complete twin statue, the institute’s talented restorer, Donato Bastiani, made the statue whole again. The inscription carved on the back pillar of the statue shows evidence of having been appropriated by Horemheb, the penultimate ruler of the Eighteenth Dynasty. However, the facial features of the figure strongly resemble other representations of Tutankhamun, suggesting that it was originally commissioned for him. Traces of the name of Tut’s successor Ay can be seen under the cartouche of Horemheb, indicating that the statue was usurped not once but twice. –Duke

Bes, the Egyptian God Who’s Part Dwarf, Part Lion

As unlikely as it might seem, the ugly demon Bes was a much-loved guardian of the home and childbirth. Heck, he could even cure impotence.

Look for this block carving of Bes in the courtyard of Dendera.

We liked him instantly — perhaps because he’s so unlike all of the other gods and goddesses of Ancient Egypt we had seen carved onto temple walls and painted in the dark, narrow tombs. And since most of those deities feature animal heads, that’s saying something.

Even so, Bes is perhaps the most unique character in the Ancient Egyptian pantheon. I’d try to come up with my own colorful description, but once Duke read this to me, I figured why bother? I can’t top Alastair Sooke’s write-up in Frieze, who describes this “grotesque little fellow” so evocatively:

His physique is squat and stocky, with flabby man-boobs, pronounced buttocks and a pot-belly. He crouches as though he is about to defecate, so that his genitals dangle, prominently, between bandy legs. A wild beard frames his gargoyle’s face, along with a lion’s mane. Yet, his ferocious visage also has a playful aspect, since he sticks out his tongue, like a clown pulling a crude face.

I realized part of Bes’ uniqueness among his fellow Egyptian gods is that, aside from cow-eared Hathor, Bes is the only other deity depicted face-on. The rest of the pantheon are always shown in profile. 

Bes was a popular guardian deity, popping up on household items and amulets like this one.

The Household Guardian

For some reason, the ugly little bugger became a common household apparition. Artisans and craftsmen carved him onto beds and headrests, mirrors and makeup containers. His likeness is even found in the ruins of Amarna, where Pharaoh Akhenaten forbid all worship besides that of the sun disk, Aten. Bes was so popular that people might have been risking their lives to keep this protective imp in their homes.

Bes guarded households, much like gargoyles on a Catholic church or the hideous monsters outside a Thai temple. The name Bes came later, a logical choice given his role — besa means “to protect.”

A cosmetic jar shaped like Bes. Both sexes wore makeup, in part to protect from the sun and insects, so the connection to a protector god makes sense.

His worship goes back at least as far as the 1700s BCE, Egypt’s Middle Kingdom, though some scholars think Bes originated even earlier, in a more lionlike form. 

Bes, a conglomeration of numerous gods and monsters, was a fighter, protector, partier and clown.

Bes’ popularity was aided by the fact that he was also a god of humor, music and dancing. He knew how to have a good time. There weren’t any temples to Bes, he had no high priests or priestesses — and yet he was a favorite god across all classes, from the royal family down to the poorest laborer. There is evidence that someone would don a Bes costume during religious ceremonies. 

Priests might have dressed in a lionlike Bes costume during some rituals.

Ten or so deities and demons that shared characteristics with Bes became conflated with him, an ever-evolving leonine dwarf deity. In one of these earlier forms, Bes was known as Aha, or Fighter, and is shown strangling snakes with his bare hands. This explains why his image appears on knives as a protection charm for the wielder.

Aha, the god or demon who later morphed into Bes

By the New Kingdom, Aha had merged into Bes, when he was sometimes given an elaborate feathered headdress.

Bes developed moobs (man boobs) and a potbelly to evoke characteristics of a pregnant woman.

Protector of Pregnant Women and Childbirth

Bes also shows up on magic wands designed to help infants come into this world, and for the dead to leave it for the afterlife. The dwarf became associated with childbirth, protecting pregnant women. In fact, two magical spells mention a “dwarf of clay” that was placed on the belly of a woman in labor — giving birth was a particularly dangerous process back then, and women and newborns needed all the help they could get. Bes would dance, shout and shake his rattle to scare off evil spirits. 

In these depictions, Bes is shown with a protruding belly and fleshy breasts, probably to connect him to his role as protector of pregnant women. He was sometimes said to be the husband of Taweret, the hippo goddess of childbirth.

If a baby laughed or smiled for no reason, it was said that Bes must be nearby, making funny faces.

Bes mania spread throughout the Mediterranean, where he became, um, quite well endowed, to represent his connection to virility.

Incubation Chambers to Cure Infertility and Impotence

As a protector of the pregnant, it’s not too far a stretch to imagine why Bes later became associated with fertility and sexuality. The imp was given a nude female companion named Beset during the Ptolemaic Period (332‒30 BCE), and mud plaster images of them decorated “incubation chambers” at Saqqara. Pilgrims would spend the night here, hoping for erotic dreams to cure them of infertility or impotence.

Bes and Beset, his nude female companion, decorated incubation chambers, where pilgrims would sleep, praying to be cured of infertility or impotence.

Prostitutes were known to get tattoos of Bes on their thighs in the hope that he’d help prevent them from getting STDs. Other women might have gotten a similar tattoo to increase fertility.

Maybe you should get a tattoo on your thigh of Bes, like this carving at Philae, to protect you from venereal diseases!

The god even found his way to Pompeii, where he’s depicted in this fresco.

Simply the Bes

The Bes craze reached its peak during the Roman era. He became part of the Horus myth, protecting the falcon-headed infant from his murderous uncle Set. Worship of the tiny troll spread all around the Mediterranean. 

In another protector role, the dwarf god adorned mammisi, the birth houses that honored infant deities such as Horus. 

Who’d have known that this ugly squatting dwarf who’s sticking out his tongue would capture the hearts of so many for so long?

Bes became a mascot for the military, as well. Roman legionnaires put Bes in armor and gave him a sword and round shield. 

True to his origins as a war god, Bes became a mascot of Roman legionnaires.

It wasn’t until after the advent of Christianity that Bes finally got his own priesthood — oracles at Abydos, where he was said to have guarded the corpse of the death god Osiris. The cult of Bes drew an impressive crowd, until Emperor Constantius II shut down the operation around 359 CE. 

Bes confronts a sphinx in this bas relief from the Ptolemaic era.

While you’re exploring the ancient temples of Egypt, be on the lookout for this merry prankster, the dwarf Bes, with his genitals exposed and his curlicue beard adorning his oversized head. He’ll be sticking his tongue out at you, making you giggle even as he protects you from harm. –Wally

The Discovery of King Tut’s Tomb

The botched recovery and vandalism of Tutankhamun’s mummy (including its erection!) — and a connection to Downton Abbey.

Everyone ogles over the treasures of King Tut’s tomb — but few know how messy the recovery of the mummy was

Ancient Egypt’s most famous and recognizable pharaoh in the modern world was still a teenager when he died, and his nickname, King Tut, has become a household name. 

When Howard Carter discovered and unsealed Tutankhamun’s tomb in 1922 and revealed its extraordinary contents, he sparked a global interest in archaeology and Ancient Egypt the likes of which had never before been seen. 

It took his team eight years to catalog and remove all of the ancient artifacts within the relatively small tomb. One can only begin to imagine the wealth of relics entombed within the larger royal sepulchres surrounding Tutankhamun’s, prior to being plundered over the centuries. 

New technologies and conservation continue to yield information about his treasures almost a century later. 

Carter (right) must have been dying of impatience while he awaited the arrival of Lord Carnarvon to begin excavating the tomb he found!

When Carnarvon Met Carter

George Herbert, the 5th Earl of Carnarvon, was the patron who footed the bill for the search for Tutankhamun’s tomb. He was also the lord of Highclere Castle, the impressive estate where Downton Abbey is filmed. And like the fictional Lord Grantham, Carnarvon married into money. 

Is that Downton Abbey? Sort of — the show is set in the real-life Highclere Castle, once home to Lord Carnarvon, who paid for the search for and excavation of Tut’s tomb

He liked fast horses and even faster cars. A near-fatal automobile accident in 1903 (he was reportedly going a whopping 30 mph or so) left him in chronic pain, and his physician advised the restoring influence of a warmer climate. So he and Lady Carnarvon often spent their winters in Cairo, buying antiquities for their collection and sparking his passion for Egyptology. 

Carnarvon only lived five months after being a part of the discovery of the tomb of Tutankhamun

In 1907, Lord Carnavon was introduced to a driven and stubborn young archaeologist named Howard Carter by French Egyptologist Gaston Maspero, who was the director general of the Egyptian Department of Antiquities. 

From the very beginnings of their association, Carter wanted to excavate the Theban necropolis of the Valley of the Kings (modern-day Luxor) in search of the elusive tomb of a minor 18th Dynasty pharaoh, first known through a small faience cup inscribed with the king’s name that was found by American Egyptologist Theodore Davis in 1905. 

Permission to excavate in the valley was granted to Carnarvon in 1914 but didn’t commence until 1917 due to World War I. After four relatively fruitless seasons, and with the final resting place of Tutankhamun undiscovered, Carnarvon was ready to put an end to Carter’s search. Were it not for Carter’s insistence to continue for one more season, the tomb might never have been found. 

If Carver hadn’t insisted on searching for one more season, King Tut’s tomb might never have been found!

---

Was Tutankhamun murdered? Did he die from a chariot accident? We help solve one of the great mysteries of Ancient Egypt.

DISCOVER: How Did King Tut Die?

---

Talk about a 12-step program! These stairs were the first evidence of the wonders that lay within this untouched tomb

On the morning of November 1, 1922, the top of a sunken staircase was revealed. By the following afternoon, 12 steps had been cleared. Carter ordered his men to refill the staircase and sent off the now-famous telegram to Carnavon, who was in England at the time: 

At last I have made wonderful discovery in Valley; a magnificent tomb with seals intact; re-covered same for your arrival; congratulations.

The earl’s death, five months after the tomb was opened, purportedly from a mosquito bite, is the stuff of legends and is regarded by some as evidence of the curse of the pharaoh. 

Be careful, Carter and Co.! The poor mummy of King Tut was horribly mangled during its removal process

Off With His Head!

It wasn’t until 1925 that Tut’s mummy was finally revealed. The bands of linen cloth that covered the king from head to feet had been saturated by copious amounts of unguents and resins, leaving his desiccated skin the color and texture of nori seaweed. Perhaps it was thought that by making the boy king appear as Osiris, the god of the afterlife, the transgressions of his heretic father, Akhenaten, who foisted monotheism upon the unwilling population, would be forgiven. 

Whoops! Carter and his team accidentally decapitated the Boy King when they took off the funerary mask

Over time these resins changed into a hardened black substance, acting as a glue and adhering his body to the coffin. Carter and his anatomist, Douglas Derry, had to chisel the king's remains out in pieces. Tut’s mummy was unceremoniously decapitated by Carter and his team when its golden death mask was removed. 

On the wall to the right, Tut is shown with his ka, or embodied soul, worshipping Osiris, the mummified god of the afterlife

The Osiris Connection: A Boner of Contention

Beneath their swaddling, Tutankhamun's mortal remains had more than a few unusual features. According to Carter’s notes, a conical form, composed of linen bandages, was found atop the king’s head, its shape resembling the feathered, bowling pin-shaped atef crown of Osiris. 

Also noted by Carter was that Tut’s mummy had a woody. The royal penis was embalmed and preserved in an upright nearly 90-degree angle, perhaps symbolically evoking Osiris’ fertility and regenerative powers. 

Photographed after unwrapping by Harry Burton, Tut’s member was reported missing in 1968, when British scientist Ronald Harrison took a series of X-rays of the mummy. His royal endowment sprung up on a CT scan in 2006, hidden in the sand surrounding the king’s remains.

The consensus among Egyptologists was that additional damage to Tutankhamun’s mummy was done by looters sometime after Carter had finished clearing the tomb of its contents in 1932 — most likely during World War II and again in 1968. Both ears were missing, and the eyes had been pushed in. The standing theory is that the looters had bribed the Valley of the Kings guards to let them in, steal the remaining jewelry left in the tomb, and “blinded” and “deafened” the mummy to keep it from coming after them.  

The famous funerary mask of King Tut seems to help prove that Nefertiti did indeed become pharaoh

A Recycled Mask From Nefertiti 

Interestingly, the most iconic of Tutankhamun’s treasures, his golden death mask, seems to have originally been intended for his stepmother, Nefertiti. 

The face, ears and beard of the beautifully wrought mask were modeled separately to represent the young king as Osiris. Research has revealed that one of the cartouche inscriptions found inside the mask was reinscribed in antiquity with Tutankhamun’s name imposed over the previous, partially erased cartouche of Ankhkheperure Neferneferuaten, the official name used by Nefertiti after she became co-pharaoh of Egypt. This has led some to believe that, like Hatshepsut, Ancient Egyptians attempted to edit out a woman’s rule as king. 

Can you imagine how freaked out the museum staff must have been when they broke off King Tut’s funerary mask beard?!

The Broken Beard 

In August 2014, the elongated braided beard attached to that iconic funerary mask accidentally snapped off while staff at the Egyptain Museum in Cairo were replacing a lightbulb in its glass display case. A sloppy attempt to hastily reattach the beard with epoxy followed, further damaging the treasured 3,300-year-old mask. This iconic item was taken off display to be restored by a team of German specialists. The resinous glue was carefully removed and the beard reattached with beeswax, an adhesive used in antiquity. 

This 1925 photo by Harry Burton shows that Tut’s beard had broken off previously

Interestingly, this wasn’t the first time the beard had been separated from the mask, though. Photographs taken of the artifact in 1925 by Burton are of a beardless Tut, and it apparently wasn’t reattached until the 1940s. 

The scarab on this necklace was created by a meteorite crash!

Jewelry That’s Literally Out of This World 

Among the incredible objects discovered in Tut’s tomb was a protective scarab pendant featuring a rare chartreuse yellow gemstone originally identified as chalcedony by Carter. However, modern researchers determined that it’s not a stone at all but a type of extraterrestrial glass created by a meteorite that crashed into the silica-rich sands of the Grand Sand Sea millions of years ago. Known as Libyan desert glass, this material was valued by the Ancient Egyptians as having celestial origins. –Duke