Las palabrotas aren’t for everyone. But Spanish bad words can be so good.

“How do you say ‘swear words’ in Spanish?” I asked my friend José as we sat in his and Jo's living room during a recent visit to Málaga, Spain.

“Las palabrotas,” he said. “That means ‘broken words.’”

I gleefully handed him a notebook and had him write down all the swear words and naughty expressions he could think of in Spanish.

I feel it’s best to try to speak like locals — and that means learning the bad words as well. Heck, they’re usually the most fun anyway.

My love of swear words goes way back. In fact, in college, when I took a linguistics class, I titled one of my big reports for the semester, Fuck! The History of the Ultimate Four-Letter Word (and Other “Bad” Words).

My teacher, most likely bored with the usual goody-goody subjects, practically squealed in delight when I pitched my idea.

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Here’s the list that José wrote down for me:

• joder: to fuck
• la polla: dick (strangely, this word is feminine)
• el coño: pussy, though it also works as an expression like, "Dammit!"
• gilipolla: asshole, wanker (keep in mind some of these were shared by my British friend Jo)
• chupapollas: cocksucker
• Me cago en la leche: literally, "I shit in the milk." It means, “No way!”
• Tengo una cita con Roca: literally, "I have a date with Roca" (the most common brand of toilet in Spain). It means, “I need the loo.”
• mamón: from the verb meaning to breastfeed, this can mean sucker, loser or asshole
• cara culo: butthead
• Vete a tomar por culo: Get the fuck out of here
• hijoputa: son of a whore
• Me cago en tu padre/madre: I shit on your dad/mom (charming, eh?)
• Salut y forza al canut: A Catalán toast meaning, "To health and a hard cock!"
• marquita: literally, "ladybug." It means “gayboy”
• una chupada/mamada: blowjob
• correrse: to cum (notice it’s reflexive). Correr means “to run” — “Be very careful with these verbs,” Jo wisely warns. Let’s use them in a sentence: Correrme/Me corro: I’m cumming!
• tener un pedo/estar pedo: to be wasted, drunk. Interesting, as pedo means “fart.”

Enjoy, hijoputas! –Wally

What are your favorite naughty expressions in Spanish?